Disclaimer- This should be obvious. I don't own Gundam Wing and I don't profit from it. If I did… well… I probably wouldn't be writing fan fiction! But all original characters are MINE! Grr no takey!
One More Guy/Girl Cliché… Or … NotThe First Chapter!
Somewhere, deep beneath the Preventors Building…"I think we made a slight miscalculation," Aidenn said, over the whirring of the spoons.
Ailene pushed her long brown braid over her shoulder, throwing her sister an odd look as she did so. "What makes you say that?"
"Well," Aidenn pulled her dust mask off her face, "it smells like a boys' locker room." She switched her headlamp onto high and pointed at a small fissure in the ceiling of the tunnel.
Ailene stuck her nose into the air and breathed in noisily. "Oh, my God!" she gasped. "It does smell like a boys' locker room!"
Meanwhile, in the Preventors Boys' Locker Room…"Dishonor!" Wufei yelled suddenly. "This locker room smells like a woman! Only the weak smell like an afternoon where puppies frolic by a trickling stream while butterflies flit about overhead!"
Quatre blushed a livid pink. "Wow, Wufei," he capped his puppies-frolicking-by-a-trickling-stream-while-butterflies-flit-about-overhead scented Lady Speed Stick A/N: I know., "that was really descriptive."
"Silence!" Duo screamed, leaning forward on one of the benches that lined the room. All of the boys looked at him. "Do you… hear voices?"
All of the boys smiled brightly as Trowa and Quatre patted his hands and Wufei leaned over to Heero, saying, "I thought the medicine was supposed to take care of this…?"
An uncomfortable silence fell in the room. Heero looked at the floor, "Hn. I hear voices, too." Now everyone stared at him "They're coming from beneath us."
Five pairs of trained eyes scanned the floor. Spotting a small crack in the floor near the middle of the room, Trowa walked over to the mark and beat a rhythm on the floor with his foot. Dun-da-da-dun-dun. The G-boys held their breath. Dun-dun!
The answering knocks arrived along with some muffled giggling. "Ailene, you idiot!" a voice rose through the fissure. "Now they'll know we're here!"
"Oh…" another voice answered, and then began giggling again.
All of the boys looked at Trowa and nodded. He then proceeded to kick a good-sized hole in the floor, raining debris down on the owners of the voices below.
Back in the tunnel…"Ow!" Aidenn and Ailene cried in unison, rubbing their bruised heads the same way, each with one green eye closed, as they turned their heads up towards the newly added hole in the ceiling.
"Argh!" screamed a tall boy, with bangs that could kill someone, in pain, temporarily blinded by the beams of the two headlamps that shined into both of his eyes. At once. A blond boy led the tall boy over to a bench as he blinked in a dazed manner.
Presently the girls found themselves being lifted by a hand on the backs of their necks, respectively. Aidenn nodded, "Impressive!"
Ailene scowled and hissed, "No touching!" The very strong boy with messy brown hair (and really pretty blue eyes, Ailene thought, complete with giggling) threw them to the ground. Fortunately, they landed on a pile of dirty laundry. Unfortunately, they landed on a pile of dirty laundry.
A boy with a long brown braid comparable to Ailene's pointed at the aforementioned twin and growled, "You!"
Ailene rose slowly to her feet, narrowed her eyes, and replied, "Me." The two began to circle each other like hyenas fighting over the last chicken finger, whilst the boy armed with the deadly bangs whistled the theme to The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
The cute blond boy wondered aloud, "What're they doing?"
Aidenn whispered, "They're measuring the comparative length-weight ratios of their braids to establish dominancy."
As both braided figures stopped and shifted seamlessly into death glare mode, the strong boy with the (giggle) pretty blue eyes said (in a sense reminiscent of Steve Irwin), "It appears to be a tie."
Both were smiling and squealing things that were later believed to be as follows: "OMG, nice braid!" "Right back at you!" "How long have you been growing yours?" "All my life!" "Me, too!" The rest of the party stared in shock and awe- actually Aidenn was glaring at Ailene.
"Oops! Pardon me," Ailene said good-naturedly to the braided one. "I'm getting a T-mail!"
"T-mail?" the boys asked simultaneously.
"Twin mail, duh!"
"Wait!" the Asian one exclaimed. "They're twins!"
"Very astute," Aidenn condescendingly drawled. "Are your parents engineers?"
Ailene looked aghast, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe you said that! I don't care if I was thinking that, too!"
"What? It's a legitimate question! He's Asian!"
"Well, I guess we'll just goose-step our way out of here, then!"
"Oh, come on, we are not Neo-nazis or racists!"
"Oh, what was that Asian slur then?"
"Maybe I'm making fun of him because I actually like him!"
At this the Asian started backing slowly away, and the blond boy commented, "Wow! That sounded like part of our closing theme!" Everybody turned to stare at him. "What, was I the only one who knew about that?"
Wufei took the opportunity of everyone's attention being gathered and said, "Quatre! Grab the prisoners!" ("Prisoners? Who're the prisoners?" the twins asked amongst themselves.)
"I can't!" the blond boy exclaimed dramatically, clutching his chest.
"Why. Not?" the Asian questioned.
"Well, if I must spell it out for you, it wouldn't look right. If I were to grab their collars, I would be reaching up because they're taller than me! That would seriously bring down the menacing factor. Same goes for Trowa, except he would be looking too far down," the blond concluded decisively. "You do it."
"I cannot touch two dishonorable women!" the Asian spat.
The strong boy sighed and grabbed their collars, looking disinterested. "I guess we should take them to our lunch meeting with Lady Une," he finally said.
"Ugh! That'll make me lose my appetite!" the Asian, of course, said.
"Get over it!" the other boys retorted.
Author's comments!- Woo! My first fan fiction! How exciting. Anyways, I know that Quatre is not so pardon the language fag-tastic as he is made out to be in the fic, but it adds humor. And gay guys are fun. And if characters are OOC, too bad. This is fan fiction, I can write it any way I want to:sticks out tongue: And other chapters are written, I just have to type them and post them. So be looking for those. - Oh, and I write this with my sis, who will soon be on as The Mysterious Racer J or something equally ridiculous. Please R & R! Auf weidersehen!