Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned
Note: A Sopranos fan fiction. When Marianna is betrayed by her boyfriend and mocked for her heritage, Arturo takes it a bit personally. Embittered, he sets out and kills him, tossing his body in the nearest lake. Sleeping fitfully for the next following five days, he finally confesses his wrong-doing to his father, and his father tells him his deepest, darkest secret.
"Sometimes the darkness overcomes us, and sometimes the darkness becomes us."—Unknown
Chapter 1—An Insult is Still an Insult
Marianna was dating happily and excelling in all of her courses. Luckily, dating Shane O'Malley hadn't taken her mind off of her studies. She kept up to date with her extra-curricular activities. She played guitar and sang like an angel. My sister and I often accompanied her. I played drums as a back up and Violetta played piano to accompany us. It seemed that my sisters and I wanted a band like Cousin Giovanni did. I was a huge fan of his band Crucifix and I practically worshipped them. As often as I could, I caught them on their tour but I was often bogged down by homework and my love of kick-ass soundtracks, kung-fu films and my own personal stash of skin magazines.
It was one rainy day that I was playing video games with my best friends as well as my best gal, Lena. Lena was kicking my tuckus though, and good. Violetta had already come home and she was studying in the library in the Dante mansion. Not even the sounds of our horrendously loud video games could permeate through those concrete-thick walls. Suddenly, Marianna, looking like the sparkle had gone out of her violet eyes, slammed the door behind her and yelled at the top of her lungs,
"That damned mick ! Playing me for a fool, the bastard ! I can't believe I didn't see it. The little prick was CHEATING on me ! I mean, come on ! What's not to love ? I've got the perfect body, and kisses to melt a frickin' ice burg for Pete's sake !", she shouted at the top of her lungs. I paused my game and handed my controller over to Lena as she whipped my other friends at the latest version of Tekken.
"Woah, woah, woah, Marian…Slow down…deep breaths. What did Shane do, exactly ?", I said, taking upon my dad's usual role since he wasn't at home. As far as I knew, he was palling around with Uncle Paulie, AJ, Joey and Bobby.
"I should've suspected him when I smelled women's perfume on him. Plus, he wasn't behaving as he usually does. He's more than happy to hang out with me and he never pushes me for anything. Anyway, he's never pressured me for sex.", Marianna began, her lip quivering.
"What else ?", I asked, sitting next to her at the kitchen table.
"He promised me, Arty. He said he would take me to prom. Not only did he betray me, but he made me look like a fool in front of everyone. What's worse is he called me a Guido, a wop and a guinea.", Marianna stated, tears still staining her beautiful face. I brought her into my arms for an intimate hug and kissed her face.
"No one insults my sister. No one.", I said, incensed. I stroked her hair and picked up your chin.
"Don't worry, Marianna. I'll take care of this.", I said. Marianna had no idea what I was alluding to, but I was about to delve deep into my darker tendencies.
Chapter 2—The Deed Is Done
I was surprised at how many f#ing O'Malleys there were in the stinkin' telephone book. I finally found the Shane I was searching for and I set out that night with a '45 by my side. Since I had a black Caddy, I blended in with the night scenery and I had hidden behind some bushes not too far from Shane's house. He was enjoying a game of darts with some friends. I waited until the friends left to have my chance to take my revenge for poor Marianna.
It seemed that the party Shane was having was going on into the early hours of the morning. I was getting a bit anxious because it would be daybreak soon.
"Come on, guys…Wrap it up already and give me a window to kill the bastard !", I thought to myself. I was sleepy, but I had prepared by taking an energy drink with me. I popped it open and gulped it down, feeling my adrenaline rush to every last nerve in my body. I was fully awake now, holding the '45 close and cocking it into place. Fairly soon the laughter of the friends died down and I had exited my Caddy, hiding not too far from the entrance of Shane's house.
The door had been left ajar slightly, so I stuck my foot inside and flicked it back as quietly as I could. Shane hadn't heard me come in, so when he saw me, he could think of nothing to say.
"How dare you insult my sister, and my blood !", I bellowed at the top of my lungs. I had begun shooting and shot him right in the heart. He began to fall forward, dead on impact. I was able to drag him out to my car, without spilling one drop of blood or brushing against anything in the house.
It wasn't hard putting Shane in my trunk because the skinny Mick didn't take up that much room anyway. There was no blood on my hands but my '45 was still hot from the recent murder I had committed. As quickly as I could, I made it to the nearest river and hustled to the back of the Caddy. With all my strength, I hoisted Shane over the guardrail and allowed gravity to do the rest for me. Shane's dead glazed eyes looked at me, almost as if to say,
"What did I do ? Why did I die ? What gives you the right to take my life ?"
At the time, my spirit was shaken, but it didn't really sink in until I went to bed the following night.
Chapter 3—Haunting Visions
Even though I felt numb after killing Shane, it wasn't until Friday night that I began to see his frightened face and his lifeless body sinking into the depths of the Hudson. Whatever blood was left in him was running from the hole in his heart.
"Why did you do it ? Why ? Answer me, Arty !", Shane's voice questioned. He began shaking me by the collar until I could no longer breathe.
"So be it, you drown with me and you'll follow me to Hell, so help me God !"
That's usually when I awakened, but this time, I saw Hell in all its glory (or terror in this case). There was no Satan to greet, but there were plenty of people I knew from history that I had looked up to. I was shocked. Was there no mercy for these people who had done wrong and yet, were good souls throughout life ? I was completely floored at the fact that everything I had been told in Montessori school had been one big lie. Even worse, everything the Father at Mass had also been a lie.
The flames licked my body as I writhed in agony. I hadn't felt this much pain since I had fallen when I was very young and broke my leg and some of my ribs. This excruciating agony was worse than anything I had felt in my entire life. What was even worse was the fact that I was surrounded by men and women I had idolized. All of them had been defaced so terribly I hardly recognized them. I didn't want to scream in horror but when I saw the dismembered faces (or lack thereof) of Bonnie and Clyde, that is when I awoke in pools of sweat. Fortunately, I hadn't screamed, so no one would have to worry about me.
And it didn't stop there. For the next five nights, the nightmares continued to bother me and I even saw Shane O'Malley clawing angrily from behind a glass enclosure. I couldn't take it anymore. It had become so bad that I started seeing blood on my hands and I believed I was going insane. Was it because I was no longer innocent and had spilled blood ? I wasn't certain, but I had to have a heart to heart with my father before Violetta and Marianna began to worry. Besides, Marianna was starting to ask questions about Shane and I had to lie to her. I had never lied in my entire life. This dark path was far too twisted and diluted that even I wondered how I would navigate out of it. Trouble is, once I had admitted what I had done I was afraid I would be disowned but I had to let go of the boulder that weighed down my soul.
Chapter 4—Coming Clean
My father was going on a "business trip" when I decided to finally confess to him.
"Dad, remember that one mook that insulted Marianna ?", I said, not looking him directly in the eye.
"Don't tell me…You corked him.", dad answered. Surprisingly his tone didn't raise one bit when I heard my confession coming from his mouth.
"Yes, but…How did you know that ?", I asked, subdued.
"Your sleepless nights and that guilty look you have about you all the time. The girls caught onto it first, but you know how protective they are.", he mentioned. I was still too stunned to speak but then dad took me to a very secretive location in the house. Not even the girls knew that it existed.
"We have a basement ?", I whispered. Dad covered my mouth.
"Yeah, we have a basement…but keep your lips zipped about it, capiche ?", my dad said, threatening me with a fist full of rings. I knew well enough to close my mouth, lest I have my lips knocked off by dear ol' dad, which he would never do unless given a damned good reason to do so. The basement had been locked but I could tell it was used quite frequently and for God knows what.
Dad sat me down at a table in the dingy, dank, musty room and sat across from me, looking deathly serious. I knew that whatever he was going to tell to me wasn't going to be easy for me, and it was definitely something I wouldn't like hearing, but I had already traveled down a dark road. Little did I realize that road was about to become harder and darker for me. I didn't know then what I knew now. I would never look back, and never again be bothered by nightmares as long as I lived. Nothing would ever frighten me, because in this moment, I had become a man in every sense of the word.
Every dark, sanguinary secret my dad had been holding from me had been poured on me all at once. It was quite a bit to absorb all at once, but he leaned over and kissed my cheek.
"You gotta choice now, kid. You know I ain't young anymore and there's gotta be someone to step up. I almost decided to tell Violetta this, but after I sensed your killer instinct I knew you must be the one to succeed me.", dad stated, honestly. I felt a chill rush down my spine. The weight of the decision seemed almost too much for me to bear, but I made my mind up right then.
"Alright, pop. I'll be your successor. What must I do ?", I asked. My father, tears in his eyes, his pride apparent in his face, got up, walked over to me and gave me the longest, biggest embrace in history. It was one I would never forget, and one, I felt was fraught with sadness, elation, pride, and fear.
Chapter 5—Part of the Family
I was old enough now, even though I wasn't quite 16 yet to enter into the underground. It was a lot for a young man like me to shoulder or even comprehend, but I knew it wasn't the last time I would ever see death, or blood for that matter. I was genuinely good in my core, but it seemed that I was well acquainted with death already and how good it felt to exact revenge.
Going through the whole ritual of getting myself into the family was strangely, a spiritual experience. We chanted words in Latin, lit candles, and I made my vow before everyone I knew. Even my Uncle Chrissy was there, our Boss. He would have to go back to the tropics later, but he made certain he was there when I was initiated. There was a slight pinch of pain when I pricked my finger and signed my moniker in blood, but it wasn't as bad as I had heard. It was much like the needle stick one gets when they go to a blood bank and donate. Nothing to it. But I could never, ever speak a word to this to my sisters. They would never have to know about the twisted road I took, and often traveled alone.
Epilogue
Those nightmares of Shane never came back after I made my vow and officially became a member of the family. I was taken out on the night on the town, got my first lap dance (again another experience I will never forget so long as I live and breathe) and had a genuine Cuban cigar and straight vodka. I never smoked or drank again after that night since the next day, I ended up worshipping the porcelain god and felt I had puked my own guts up.
It's now the present day and sometimes life is more f#ed up than it was before I made the "decision". But so long as I am able to be the protector of my family and watch my dad's back, I will do so with the Dante dignity and live up to the meaning of my name, Arturo…Like Arthur of old. I am, after all, a knight, and a knight keeps his treasures near and dear to his heart.
From the electronic journal of Arturo "Artie" Dante
Whereabouts: Unknown, but thought to be in Jersey or New York somewhere, don't ask, don't tell, no knowin'.
Relations: Speculative, could be in with the Soprano gang, could not be, could be working solo