Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, yadda yadda…
By the way, I am in no way saying this is the way she thinks, I am merely questioning possible paths. In this, she is deeper and darker, but barely so.
What happened?
I used to be innocent, once. I used to be carefree, there was not a problem in the world. I only had to worry about school. I ran around, I tripped all the time, people laughed at me, but it was all just fun. They didn't mean it when they called me a klutz, just as I was expected to fall into a crying fit. It's just the way it was. It was safe.
But, now it's not. It's not safe, and I don't think it ever will be again. I'm not fourteen anymore, I'm not a child anymore. Yeah, sure, I still act like I always did. But, who wouldn't? Who wouldn't want to cling to their past innocence if given the chance. I sure as hell do. It's all I have left.
Okay, that's not true. I have my friends, and they're great. But they also symbolize my lost innocence. They're only here because I was forced to fight. Same with him. We only got together because we were forced to fight. I still wonder if we'd have ever gotten together, destiny or not, if that wasn't the case. If I was still the naïve, 'nothing is wrong in the world' teenager? Nah, probably not, he would have seen me as too young, no matter the circumstances. He still has trouble with my age. I don't blame him though, it can be kind of awkward at times.
They all think I haven't given up, haven't seen the darkness that resides in everything, even me. I let them believe that. I want them to believe that. It's the only thing that keeps them fighting, keeps them sane. I do it for their sake. I can't crack, because then they would break. But god, do I ever want to just scream to the world for such injustices.
I'm still a child, we all are. But no one cares. So long as we don't complain about giving up our innocence, our childhood, then there is no problem. So long as we have sacrificed everything, then they don't have to sacrifice anything. That's the way they prefer it, and that's the way we'll keep it. I'll keep smiling, and tripping, and crying, and whining, because that's what they need, and who am I to deny them their safety. So long as I only remain broken on the inside, they will continue to see what they want on the outside.
So long as I am dead, they will live.