What's in a Codename Anyway?
Hey there Misfit fans! L1701E here! This funny little one-shot came into my head and I thought I should share it with you. Everyone knows that in the whole Misfit team, only one member of the teenage mutant team has no codename: Lila Cheney. I never could think up a codename for poor Lila until recently, and when I came up with the name, I also came up with this one-shot to explain how the original Misfit team came up with it. In case you're wondering where in continuity this fits, it's set before "Cobra Stops the World (NOT!)". I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to me, Marvel Comics, and Hasbro Entertainment
Recondo's House, the Pit
A teenage girl with long black feathered hair and blue eyes, dressed in a tight black AC/DC t-shirt and tight gold leather pants, walked down the stairs of the house with a sigh. She slumped down on the couch, and turned on the TV. She sighed sadly as a show came on. Her name was Lila Cheney. She was a mutant with the power to teleport across interstellar distances. She also was a member of the Misfits, a team of teenage mutants who lived as wards of the elite anti-terrorist military unit codenamed GI Joe. A man clad in camo gear and a safari hat. He had brown hair, dark eyes, and a moustache. The man was Lila's guardian. He was a soldier trained for jungle operations codenamed Recondo.
"Hey, Lila." Recondo said to her with a smile. Lila sighed.
"Hey, Recondo." Lila mumbled. Recondo noticed something very odd about Lila. Lila seemed to lack her usual energy. She was pretty depressed, something nobody in the Misfit team saw before in Lila's time with the group.
"You okay, kid? You seem down. That's pretty unusual for you. I've never seen you down." Recondo blinked. "You alright?"
"Yeah…" Lila sighed sadly. She sat up. "Recondo, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, shoot." Recondo blinked.
"How come I don't have a codename?" Lila asked.
"What was that?" Recondo shook his head.
"How come I don't have a codename?" Lila repeated. "All the others have a codename. All the Joes have a codename, and all the other Misfits have a codename. How come I don't have one?" Recondo scrunched his face in thought. He never really did think about that.
"Well…what brought this about, Lila? I didn't think that something like that would bother you very much." Recondo wondered.
"I was engaging in one of my little debates with the Red Menace…" Lila started. "The Red Menace" was a reference to Jean Grey, a red-haired member of the X-Men who had great telepathic and telekinetic powers. She was thought of as bossy and arrogant by the Misfits and secretly by some of her fellow X-Men. She and Lila were polar opposites. Whereas Jean came from a well-to-do family, Lila had a strange and difficult childhood. "…and she made some comment about the fact that we're not that different because neither of us have codenames. I'm not like her. If she wants to be so arrogant that she doesn't have a codename, that's fine with me. But I want to have a codename. The others do."
"You're afraid that you'll be like Jean because you have no codename?" Recondo blinked. Lila shook her head.
"No, it's just I feel like I'm not a real member."
"Lila, you're just as much a Misfit as any of the others." Recondo reassured with a chuckle, mussing up Lila's hair with his hand. Lila playfully swatted him off.
"Hey, I just fixed my hair." Lila let out a small chuckle. Recondo smiled.
"Why don't you go out and go rehearse with you bandmates?" Recondo suggested. "Maybe they can help you with your troubles."
"Yeah, sure." Lila said, getting up and turning off the tube. She went outside. "Thanks, Recondo."
The barracks
Four members of the Misfits were sitting around, playing instruments. One was dressed in mainly purple, and he looked like an 80s rocker. He was singing, and strumming a purple guitar with a five-pointed star-shaped body. His long black hair fell over his face as he sang, obscuring his chocolate brown eyes and most distinctive feature: a purple birthmark over his left eye shaped like a perfect 5-pointed star, making the boy resemble Paul Stanley of Kiss a little bit. He was born Paul Starr, but he was codenamed Starchild for his mutant power of hypnosis and the ability to fire a purple laser beam from his eye.
"Take us home, Paul." Another teen boy whooped. It came from a boy with a brown mullet, dressed in a black t-shirt, blue jeans with ripped knees, and black fingerless gloves. He was playing a white B.C. Rich Warlock guitar with a Black Widow head. Born Lance Alvers, he was codenamed Avalanche for his mutant ability to manipulate the earth. Next to him was a teenage boy who looked exactly like Paul, only he was playing a black axe-shaped bass guitar and bobbing his head to the music. His birthmark was black, and he was dressed mainly in that color: A shirt, jeans, and leather jacket. His name was Craig Starr, and he was called Darkstar. He had the exact same powers as his identical twin brother Paul. The little circle was almost completed by a teenage boy with reddish-blond hair behind an orange drum kit, dressed in a black t-shirt with orange-and-silver flames on it, matching slacks, and white gloves. He was St. John Allerdyce, an ex-Acolyte from Australia with the power to control flame, hence his codename of Pyro. There was an extra stool, with a golden Stratocaster propped up on it and a golden keyboard on a stand next to it. That was Lila's seat. Paul, Craig, John, Lila, and Lance were the Superstars, a world-famous all-mutant glam-metal band.
"That was great." John grinned when the song ended. "Too bad Lila couldn't be here."
"Speak of the devil." Craig saw Lila take her seat.
"Hey guys." Lila sighed.
"What's up, Lila. You look down." Paul wondered. Lila sighed.
"Yeah, I'm alright. It's just…well, Lance…you're Avalanche, John's Pyro, Craig is Darkstar, and Paul is Starchild."
"So?" Craig wondered. "They're codenames."
"Is because you don't have one, huh?" John blinked.
"I thought you didn't care if you had a codename or not." Lance looked at Lila in a confused manner. Lila shrugged.
"I don't, but…It would be nice to have one." Lila replied. The other four members of the Superstars looked at each other.
Misfit Manor, some time later
"You have got to be kidding me." Lance Alvers moaned. He, Paul, John, and Craig were sitting at the Misfit Manor kitchen table. The four boys were trying to come up with a codename for their teammate and fellow musician.
"Five hours…" John sighed. "We've been at it for five hours, and how many codenames did we come up with?" Paul looked at a piece of paper.
"Two. And I doubt Lila would like either of them." Paul sighed.
"Yeah. Portal doesn't really fit her or her powers." Craig sighed. "And don't get me started on Spaceport."
"She'd kick our butts if we considered asking her to use that codename." Lance grumbled.
"No wonder poor Lila has no codename. It's impossible to come up with one." John groaned. "Poor Sheila. What do we do?"
"I'm gonna go rest my brain." Lance got up and walked out of the room. He walked into the living room and sat down in front of the tube. "Maybe the TV will help me. It's never failed before." He turned on the tube and went through the channels. "Nothing on but trashy talk shows. And not even the good one: Springer." The geokinetic looked ready to throw the remote at the TV when he turned on a documentary about NASA. Lance stopped. "Ah, I did want to be an astronaut as a kid." Lance sat back. "Maybe I get a copy of this for Lila to cheer her up."
"For several decades, NASA has been the key force in allowing mankind to make their way through the stars." The narrator began. Lance's eyes widened as something clicked in his mind.
Way through the stars…Lance repeated in his mind. Way through the stars…way through the stars…way…stars…way…stars…way…A codename idea suddenly hit Lance like a ton of bricks. "Holy Moley, I think I got it!" He leapt off the couch. "YOU GUYS! I GOT IT! I KNOW THE PERFECT CODENAME FOR LILA!"
That night
"This had better be good." Lila grumbled as she walked into Recondo's house. "I'm not in the mood for being messed…around…with…" Lila trailed off when she saw the other Superstars standing in the living room in their full costume and makeup. "We got a gig?"
"Not exactly." Lance smirked. He motioned to the couch. "Sit down." Lila did so reluctantly. "Lila Cheney, as a fellow member of the Superstars and as a Misfit, you have enriched our lives."
"Sadly, due to the unique nature of your powers, you were unable to enjoy having a codename like the rest of us." Craig added.
"Those days are over, Lila Cheney." Paul added.
"You're not kicking me out, are you?" Lila blinked.
"No." The other four Superstars said.
"Rise, Lila Cheney." John formed a sword of flame. Lila stood up. John put his sword near her shoulders like he was knighting her, being careful not to touch Lila. "We hereby codename you…Starway."
"Starway?" Lila blinked.
"Because when you teleport…you make your way through the stars." Lance smiled.
"Besides, it was the only remotely good codename we could come up with." Paul snickered.
"Starway…" Lila said softly. "Starway…yeah…I like that. I like Starway. It fits like a glove." Lila smiled appreciatively at the Superstars. "You guys…are the best."