She had awoken to the stirs that were beneath her. It took her two seconds to realize that the person beneath her was Tenzin. She gently lifted her head off of his chest to look at him. He was fast asleep. Who wouldn't have been asleep? Even though she crawled to him to sleep, she had barely been able too. She probably did for a bit but not a lot.
She gently pulled away from him, making sure she wasn't going to disturb his sleeping state. Once she wiggled herself out, she decided to shower but first she needed to gather her nightgown and her hair clips. Finding them wasn't a problem; the problem was not making any noise. She tiptoed around her own room. She grabbed a pair of plaid pyjama bottoms, underwear and a tank top.
She gave Tenzin one last glance before she stepped into the bathroom. Once he awoke and left her home she perfectly knew what she was going to do. She didn't know about him but she knew him too well and placed the thought elsewhere.
...
Slipping out of her room quietly now fully bathed. She realized she hadn't eaten anything. She padded along gathering the tea cups from yesterday night.
She sighed.
'This isn't going to work out...right when he steps out that door, everything will go back into place as if nothing happened.'
She shook her head.
It may have been a wonderful night but she knew how this would play out. Then again, they could... No, that wasn't going to happen and she rather it not happen again.
'It was like saying goodbye as lovers or was it an initiation of love again?'
She continued to contemplate over the situation. She had the opportunity to kick Tenzin out, she had the opportunity to not relive this, and yet she fell enticed in her desires letting all the guilt and consequences that would be brought along.
Lin forced herself to go to the kitchen and boil some water. Dwelling upon the situation would only give her a headache and heartache.
She wasn't willing enough to destroy a family but there was something that lingered in her mind.
Two months ago...
"He cares for you, Linny,"
"Bumi... He..." She was hesitant with her words.
Bumi gave her an ear to ear grin.
"I know Ten-Ten as good as you do, maybe not in a certain sense," He winked, "but I know what I'm talking about when I say he cares for you."
She looked at him with awe.
"He's married... Are you...Are you trying to tell me that he still has feelings for me?" She said with a tint of anger and disbelief.
"I'm not telling you... I know. Did you not see it in his eyes Linny? You know, I wouldn't be surprised if you two re-explored your old emotions..."Bumi said playfully as he quickly walked away from her.
She was scowling now.
"Not even... That would be wrong..."
...
She sighed.
As she poured some tea for herself and padded her way to nestle herself on the couch and continued to read the book from the other night.
It was troublesome to read with the sound of rain dancing against her window. It reminded her of when she lost her bending which sent shivers down her spine. There was no need for her to fear the rain. There was no need at all. She let her mind drift off to a time where there was innocence and laughter. Those days were long gone now.
...
He had felt her get up and heard her leave. He perfectly knew what she was doing and what was going on in her mind. The obscurity and scrutiny that she was placing upon herself. The assumptions and even worse the reality of their actions effecting those around them. He lay in her bed. Silently listening to the rains dance, to Lin's shuffling, and to his own breathing.
He had to blink several times to get rid of his drowsy state. He glanced over to the empty spot beside him. Did he truly know what she was thinking at this moment? Or was she actually the opposite?
He only hoped that she was thinking what he dread most since he too perfectly knew that this notion would not go out without an argument.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
'You both knew what you were doing... Yes but... No but's, you're both adults and you both let your emotions evoke out with much tenacity and vigour.'
He sighed again.
These were all good points.
He collected his clothing and quickly changed into them. As he stepped out of Lin's bedroom and walked out towards her living room, he had to stop and observe her.
He watched as how intent she was towards her book but slightly distracted by something that must have been on her mind. He watched her light breathing, the way some loose strands fell in front of her face.
"How long do you plan on standing there and watching me?" Her voice was harsh and cold.
He took note of how her demeanour changed. It was as if she let her sturdy barrier rebuild itself. He had been able to deteriorate it for one night and now she had been able to rebuild it.
"I do not know how long would you permit it?" He asked continuing to watch her.
She didn't say anything.
He sighed; the tension between them was back.
"Would you like me to cook something to eat?"
She furrowed her eyebrows.
"I'm not hungry," she said through gritted teeth.
'What is going on Lin?'
He sighed again and approached her with long steady strides.
He sat beside her. He reached out to touch her but she cringed away.
She looked at him now. Her expression was something that he wasn't expecting to see.
"Go. They're probably waiting for you, worrying..." Her voice was sharp and demanding except her eyes said a whole other story.
He dragged his hand over his face and sighed.
He avoided her question.
"I'm not sure if what I'm thinking could be the same as what you're thinking but..."
She cut him off.
"No, you're not. Tenzin, once you step out that door," she gestured and continued,"this... It won't be a reoccurring thing, you won't pretend as if nothing as happened... I know you too well... Me on the other hand... I will..."
The tone in her voice made him wonder.
"Lin..." He began.
"No, Tenzin... I... I just can't. My feelings can be right at my fingertips Tenzin but Spirits... I can't ruin your perfect family. We left each other for very specific reasons... And I vow to keep my end but... Why are you giving me that look Tenzin?"
He furrowed his brows.
"Why do you do this?" He asked.
"Excuse me? I don't do anything," she said defiantly.
He gave out a nervous chuckle.
"Lin? Don't you see, you've done this many times, you push your emotions and feelings deep within. You're hard to read. This is a reason why we weren't... It doesn't matter now. Lin, don't do this..."
He saw the lines of irritation appear on her.
"No one told you to be with me in the first place... It's not like I asked for it. You just upright and... And..." She was furious now, she was holding back whatever it was that she wanted to express.
He watched her bite her lower lip intently.
"Stop that," he ordered, cupping her face to look at him.
He was surprised at her reaction. She slightly gasped at his contact.
"Lin, you're as stubborn as can be... That is a trait that I have come to love and hate but you can't change how I feel for you..."
Her eyes softened and her strong and rueful demeanour deteriorated again.
"I hate you..." She said quietly looking away.
He gave her a small smile.
"You have every right to be." He said gently stroking her cheek.
Again she reacted in way that he hadn't expected her too.
"Are you sure you want to pretend as if nothing has happened?" He asked her.
She pursed her lips and again bit her lower lip.
"I thought I said to stop that,"
"Oh? And what will you do? Bite it for me?" She asked sarcastically.
"Very tempting..." He replied knowing where this was going.
She snorted.
He turned her face to face him again.
"If I didn't know better I'd say that was an invitation,"
She pouted.
He was very tempted now.
She gave him a look.
'If looks could kill...'
...
She looked at him and sighed.
"I believe the rain has subsided. It should be easy for you to get home now." She said this as she arose only for him to pull her by the wrist to sit again.
She looked at him again.
"Tenzin, I've practically wasted a day today," she stated flatly. "Plus, I might pull a late night shift, thank you by the way."
He rested his index finger against his lips. Listening to her every word.
"I've wasted an entire day as well," he said.
She bit her lower lip.
He shot his eyebrows up again.
"There you go again. Stop biting your lower lip." He said demandingly.
Taken aback by his tone she did it again. Biting her lower lip.
He sighed.
"That's what I thought. You can't stop me from biting it. You could bite it for me, I'd rather you not. Go home. I have to get ready for my late night shift. Well, more of late entry,"
He only looked at her but in the end gave in.
He stood up, pulling her up as well.
"May I at least get a goodbye kiss?" He asked.
She arched and eyebrow, a little sceptical on his request.
"You may not," she said flatly.
She brought him towards the main door.
"What you can do for me is go now." She stated.
He looked at her now.
"Goodbye Tenzin,"
Right when she was about to open the door.
He stole a kiss from her.
Their lips lightly brushing against each other, She pulled away before it got too heated.
She opened the door.
"Goodbye Tenzin," She said it with a smile.
He in return did the same.
"Goodbye," he gave her a quick peck on the forehead.
As soon as he stepped out she closed the door.
'Time for a late shift, today... and the next few days too.'
...
When she arrived at the station, she wasn't expecting to see anyone she knew. Through out the whole drive here she had to conceal her slightly good mood but seeing Pema and Bumi. It made her insides churn with a lot more guilt.
Bumi spotted her. From the look he was giving her he figured it out.
She bit her lower lip.
He was waggling his eyebrows at her. As if to signal her that She and Tenzin were in a lot of trouble.
'Looks like you have to do what you intended on doing... As if nothing...'