Just to Hold You Once Again
By Jenny
Disclaimer: OK, it's the same thing. I don't own any of the characters.
Rating: G
Dedication: Ok, to Del, Kyliah, Desty, and ALL the X/A fans out there!
Summary: Ok, this is ANOTHER songfic I made, with Mariah Carey AGAIN, the song this time Just to Hold You Once Again. Ok? I can't help it if I love Mariah Carey can I? And her songs really fit Xena and Ares' love/hate thing, ok? Ok. This takes place after Xena left Ares for the 'Greater Good'.
Feedback: you know how, click my name.
Ares was beyond rage. It's been almost an entire MONTH since Xena left him, all because of his BASTARD HALF-BROTHER! He threw a vase across the room, the tinkle of breaking glass doing little to soothe his temper. He groaned, and sat down on his throne. His mind drifted back to the morning she had decided to leave. It was to be the day they announced their engagement to Olympus. But, that never happened. An hour before it was time to announce their betrothal, she broke it off, and left. Ares had slept alone that night, the first time since Xena's 17th birthday, when they had first made love.
Do you know
How it feels,
Lying here without you baby.
You can never understand
What's happening to me.
Ares sighed. Wars have been raging everywhere. Even Zeus was afraid to approach him. But he himself was confused. There was this, inner turmoil in him, and he had no idea why. Why was he so furious for her leaving? She was just a warrior. He shouldn't care. But he did.
So alone,
Nothing's real,
I just dream about you baby.
And forever wonder
Why you had to break free.
He stared out a window. Aphrodite thought he missed her. Ares chuckled at the thought. The God of War can't MISS. He can't LOVE. Then why was he feeling so alone since she left? Is it possible that he really did miss her?
Even though you're not my lover,
Even though you're not my friend.
I would give
My all to have you here.
Just to hold you once again.
He watched her through a portal. She was just staring ahead of her, her eyes on the road, while the blonde she picked up chattered on beside her. Xena suddenly sat up, more alert. She knew he was watching. She always knew. There was no way of explaining how, she just did.
It's so hard
To believe
I don't have you right beside me.
As I long to touch you
But you're out of my reach.
And my heart
Doesn't feel.
It's so very cold
Inside me.
Just a shadow
Of someone I used to be.
As time went on, Ares's heart grew colder, and there was an icy wall built around it. In his eyes, there used to be passion, now there was nothing but bloodlust. He didn't move on, but he didn't move back either. He just stayed in place, hoping beyond hope that she'd still come back to him.
Even though you're not my lover,
And even though you're not my friend.
I would give
My all to have you here.
Just to hold you once again.
And so the days went on. His many attempts to get her back failing. Wars raged everywhere, more than ever before. He grew colder, harder, and less vulnerable than ever. It was like the last bit of humanity in him was slowly burning out.
You were the only one
That I allowed inside my heart.
Now I'm just holding on,
To something so far gone.
Oh where did I go wrong.
She died. She died, and he died. Whatever was in him that kept him from becoming insane gave out. While the bard fought for the tiny bit of ambrosia that would bring her back, he knew that there was hardly any chance that she'd get it. So he went mad. No one dared to approach him any more. No one dared to try and understand why. And so he went on raging, while she died and came back. She lived, and he came back.
Even though you're not my lover,
And even though you're not my friend.
I would give
My all to have you here.
Just to hold you once again.
He knew then. He knew he would live on to tell her he loved her. And even though, she might not love him, even though she thought them enemies, he knew he would always love her. And he would do anything to convince her. Anything and everything. That was the power of his eternal love.