Disclaimer: Death Note unfortunately doesn't belong to me. If it did, every single guy would be obviously gay (I think they may be, but it's not so obvious)

Author's Note: Sorry if my english is bad, I'm not a native speaker. Spoilers from volume 8 ahead. Shonen ai. In other words, love between boys. Don't like it, don't read it. If Near and Mello in a relationship bothers you, stop right here. If not, please go on! I hope you enjoy it. I think they make a perfect couple. And I have a sequel in mind!

Thanks

Priscila

Chapter I

- Near, Mello... L passed away.

I flinched. My vission blurred. I don't know why I didn't just black out. Somehow, I managed to speak.

- What do you mean, he's dead? He's been killed by Kira! Isn't it?

- Probably.

- He promised to catch Kira, and now has been murdered! Is that what you're saying?

- Mello...

- We have to win the game, finish the puzzle. Otherwise, we're nothing but losers.

Near's voice startled me as it quietly echoed through the room. I had forgotten he was here. As I turned to him, he had just finished tossing his damn puzzle all over the floor. The brat hadn'n shown any kind of reaction to the news. So predictable. Any other time, it would get on my nerves. But something occured to me.

- Near and I... Who L chose?

Time stopped as I waited.

- No decision. L died without making his choice.

No decision...

- Mello, Near... Could you support each other?

- It can be.

- That's impossible, Roger. You know Near and I can't get along. We're always competing.

Always... Still, I'm always second place. My efforts didn't matter...

- It's ok, Roger. Near will be L's successor. Unlike me, I know he'll properly take care of things, the same way he emotionlessly works on his puzzle.

- And I'm also leaving the institute.

- Mello! – he called as I turned away.

- Roger, I'll soon be fifteen! I'm doing things on my way! – I stated and left the room, not wanting to deal with Roger's preoccupation now.

It would only make me more vulnerable. More than I already am.

L...

Still, I don't know how I managed to leave that night. The very minute I reached my room, all the pain I had been holding emerged. I thought it would never stop. I thought I would not be able to stand up from my bed. Everytime I tried to, my knees would go weak, and I would fall back, trembling and sobbing endlessly.

Of course, in front of the others, I had pretended to have all under control. I had shown Roger that I was ready to just go and follow my way, as if it was obvious and natural.

Truth is, it wasn't. I wasn't expecting L's death so soon, as if he was nothing but one more piece of chess, which can be eliminated anytime.

Unlike Near. I bet he isn't even slightly shocked. I bet his life until now consisted on preparing himself for this day. The day he would join the game. Not that he really wanted it. I don't think he's human enough to actually wish. He probably just thinks it's his natural path.

Anyway, I couldn't care less. And I wasn't concerned about my future. Deep inside I knew what I wanted – to surpass Near. It could be taken care of later. Right now, I had something stronger inside me to deal with. I can't accept L's death! It made me so angry, for it was too unfair! How dare he die like this! How dare his stupid friends let him risk himself so much! They should have known he was above, the brain, not the arms, nor the legs!

Then again, as I think better, I know L was not this kind of person. If he thought it to be necessary, he would act. He wasn't some coward. And I know he didn't risk himself in vain.

This thoughts should have calmed me down, but they didn't. Reason alone wouldn't work on me. Lots of anger still burned in my chest. Later, it would lead me to Kira.

Without realizing, I was furiously chewing my chocolate bar. It was weird when it tasted so sweet against the bitterness I felt on my throat. When I swallowed the last piece, all the sugar running through my veins made me want to react, so I stood up with a jump. I had stopped crying, but the anger was still there. I grabbed my bag and threw it on the floor, then started throwing all my things inside, my teeth clenched, only one thought obsessively going trough my mind: leaving this place now. I couldn't bear it one more second without going mad.

Away. Away from this place where I'm always second best. Away from Near and his reasonable ways. And now, I know he'll probably join the police or some other official authority. I can see them blindly obeying him, openmouthed, as he disdainfully orders them around.

Well, Kira. You'd better run for your life. I've got two damn good reasons to run after you. L and Near.

- Mello.

Speaking of the devil.

I turned around. Near was standing by my door, on his pajamas, dragging some weird toy of his, looking just like an infant who had a bad dream and went to look for his parents.

I don't deserve it.

- What?

I was ready to give my back to him, but I noticed something wrong. Near's eyes had fixed on me for a second before avoiding me as usual. They had looked serious. Almost... worried.

I sighed.

- What do you want, brat?

He started playing with his hair and lowered his gaze. It was so much like him to just ignore my question and keep silent. What the hell was on his mind, did he want me to guess why in the world he had come here?

Before he could blink, I had grabbed him by the collar an pinned him against the nearest wall.

- Forget it, Near. You came all the way to my room, you can't act as if there's nothing out of place! Say whatever is it or get the hell out!

As expected, he hadn't reacted to my sudden agression and just kept twirling his hair. I was ready to shake some words out of him. Then, he spoke.

- So, you really are leaving.

- So what?

He didn't answer. Just stood perfectly still, trapped between my body and the wall, his eyes fixed somwhere on the floor. How I hated his hability of making me mad without saying a word! I was never in the mood for his games.

At this minute, I'm even less.

I grabbed his chin and forced him to face me. His eyes were once more empty, but I didn't care, he had started it. He calmly looked into my eyes, and the rage he saw probably made him pity me, for he decided to answer.

- Since you usually act and speak by impulse, I guessed you could have given up.

So he thinks he can predict me.

I smirked.

- Well, you guessed wrong.

I watched him as he quietly played with his hair, as if unaffected by his small loss. Suddenly, I realized that the toy he held wasn't just any toy; it was a gift from L. He had given it to Near in his last visit to us, not so long ago. Maybe a couple of months. It was a ship, and it floated in the water. It could also be undone and rebuilt in many ways; it could even be turned into a plane, or something like this. I remember L hugging Near as he gave him the gift, and Near blushing, as he always did whenever someone showed closeness to him.

And now, Near was holding it. A little too tightly, I noticed.

All this time, my eyes had been widened, fixed on the ship. I knew Near was aware of it, even though he hadn't moved. Even his fingers had stopped, holding a few locks, as if he had forgotten them there.

All of a sudden, his presence here starts to make some sense.

For the second time in this night, I resisted the urge to shake him until he cried. Instead, I looked carefully into his eyes, looking for something to confirm my suspects, and finding only cold distance.

It finished infuriating me.

- You came because of him, didn't you? – my voice came dangerously low. Near trembled a little, but that was all. I grabbed his shoulders.

- Come on and answer, you freak! I've finished packing, there's no time for your weirdness! What do you want from me? Now that L's gone, his place is yours to claim, and I'm not in your way! What else for god's sake do you wish for?!

It was funny because I was shaking him and screaming in his face, but I was the one crying. I hadn't noticed the first tear, but now my face was wet. Suddenly, Near raised his hand and touched my face. He slipped his cold fingers trough my cheek, as if he wanted to dry it. Then he brought his wet hand close to his face, as if he wanted to study my tears. What were they made from. It was alien to him.

He didn't have any.

Next thing I knew, I was kissing him. Hard.

Fuck you, Near.

No resistance as I slipped my tongue into his mouth and explored it roughly. My hands circled his neck, holding him in place. Not that he tried to escape. His own tongue met mine, and it was completely imobile, as if waiting to see my reaction. So I sucked on it, and I heard his breath change slightly.

I'll melt you, Near. Then you'll be able to cry, and be normal, and leave me alone.

I parted the kiss and opened my eyes. Near's were opened. Probably had been all the time.

Opened and widened. Maybe a little astonished.

Did I scare you, Near? I think this time I got to you.

I stared deeply into his eyes, but they were back to their normal size too soon.

Maybe this kiss was over too soon.

I took one step back, giving him some room, since all this time I had been pressing him against the wall. He was back to his 'I don't care' posture – twirling his hair, staring at nothing. And he didn't make a move to leave.

I was tired. Finally, I turned away from Near. Almost instantly I felt the urge to get my things and run from this place. Then I heard him whisper.

- I'm sorry.

- I don't think so.

I looked at him as I grabbed my bag. He had sat on the floor. Actually, he looked more like he had thrown himself there. His back against the wall. Arms hanging limp on his sides.

And his disdainfull eyes.

I sighed and approached him. Then I said close to his ear.

- Good luck, Near.

I headed towards the door without looking back. My last contact with Near until some years later didn't include a vision of his face. Only the words he said as I walked away from him.

- Mello. I won't replace L.

I flinched, but kept going.

- I know. It was cruel from me to say this. I'm sorry.