I don't own naruto characters but I do own the plot, cookies, my couch, laptop, everybody in my family, etc.
I know some of the songs are cheesy but they go good with the story and NARUTO PICKED THEM NOT ME!
Ps there is Lemon, Smut, Yaoi, Cursing, all the good stuff, Drunks, SasuNaru, NaruSai that just got killed, and Rated M things!
3nj0y
The blond was sitting in the chair in front of the desk where the old geezer sat. Naruto glared at him.
"There is no way in fucking hell that I, Naruto Uzumaki, am going to do this job." Jiraiya smirked at his reply.
"Well, if I recall correctly, you said that you needed a job even if it means working at a gay club, singing and dancing every night during weekdays," Jiraya said his smirk turning into a smile knowing he caught the blond. Naruto groaned in frustration.
"I was exaggerating! I didn't really think you make me do just that!" Jiraiya shrugged.
"I wasn't planning on you just doing THAT but maybe making you dress up and maybe, just maybe, making you strip but I won't make you do that if you don't want to."
"Why the fuck would you make me STRIP! I'm not even GAY!" Jiraiya lifted an eyebrow.
"Aren't you dating Sai?" the geezer asked confused.
"Yeah… but we're not even really doing anything. He calls me dickless, I call him jackass, we make out a little bit and that's it. I seriously don't even know why we're still together-"
"Yeah I really don't want to hear your love-life so will you take the job?" Jiraiya said cutting off Naruto. The blond thought a bit then nodded. Jiraiya smiled. "Okay then, INO! SAKURA!" the old geezer shouted. Two girls walked in the door behind Naruto. The blond turned around to look at them. "Naruto this is Ino and Sakura, they are in charge of you, so do what they say and if you don't, say good-bye to your apartment upstairs and your ramen stash." Naruto gulped at the thought of losing his ramen. "Ladies, please tell Naruto his schedule and show him what he has to do." The girls nodded and walked out the room. The blond quickly got up and followed them.
"Let's go to the dressing room-,"
"No we are supposed to go to the stage first!"
"No! Who said that Billboard head? The dressing room is first!"
"That's what you think Ino-Pig!"
Naruto seriously thought his ears were bleeding by how much the girls bickered! "Will you sluts just shut the fuck up and show me what I'm supposed to do!" The girls stopped bickering and looked at him.
"What the hell is your problem?" the blond girl asked. The pinkette nodded.
God did these girls piss him off! "What my fucking problem is you whores bickering the whole goddamn time!" Naruto yelled at them. Sakura shrugged and walked behind the bar counter and got out a Bud light.
"Need a drink?" the pinkette asked handing him the beer. The blond growled and snatched the can from her. Naruto emptied the can in less than a minute. Ino smiled in amazement.
"God I hate my life," Naruto mumbled as he smashed the can on the counter. The blond girl looked at the clock behind the bar counter on the wall.
"The club opens at seven and you're on at nine so we need to figure out what song you're singing and wearing soon." Ino walked into the room right behind the bar and Sakura followed.
Finally I'm alone! The blond thought relieved. Suddenly he felt a vibration in his back pocket. He pulled his phone out and read the text he had got. Shit, it's from Sai. The blond read the text.
Hey dickless heard u got a new job
And I might get 2 come and c u
We need 2 talk about us and sort this out
luv u – Sai
This is what I hate! He calls me names and fakes his love… why can't anyone just actually love me?
"Naruto? We need you to pick out a song!" Sakura shouted from in the other room. The blond sighed and looked up at the clock. 6:49
Then an idea hit him. Naruto smirked evilly and walked into the other room with Ino and Sakura. "I know the perfect song whores!"
8:56, Naruto should be on soon Jiraiya thought as he walked out of his office and stood in front of the dressing room near the employee's room. The club's DJ was blasting music that could make a person's ears bleed nonstop. Suddenly the door opened and hit Jiraiya in the back.
"Sorry old geezer!" Naruto loudly whispered realizing he just hit his boss. Jiraiya moved out of the door so the blond could get out. The old geezer looked at what he was wearing. Naruto was dressed in cargo pants and a muscle shirt that had, 'If you saw me naked you'd die happy, if I saw you naked I'd die laughing' on it. Jiraiya smirked at the t-shirt.
Jiraiya put a hand on Naruto's shoulder and said, "Go make me some horny customers." The old geezer said really loud because more people were coming in making more noise. Naruto smiled greatly at that comment. The old geezer was shocked a little that the blond didn't go into a cursing fit, not that he wanted him to. Little did anyone know of his mischievous plan, except for Sakura and Ino, he told the whole thing. Naruto looked at the time on his watch. 8:58 Guess I should start! Ya Know! The blond was about to go when he felt another vibration in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and read the text for Sai.
Just pulled in
luv u- Sai
Naruto smirked and texted him back.
Just about to start
f u- Naruto
Naruto happily got on stage and grabbed the microphone. The DJ lowered the volume of the song as he did so.
Jiraiya walked into the employee's room where Sakura and Ino were smiling mischievously at the TV. The old geezer smirked and sat at the table with them. "What you girls doin'?" he asked looking at the TV. Then it dawned on him what they were watching.
"We are recording Naruto's singing using the surveillance camera that we use to monitor who comes in and out of the club. Then we are going to post it pn the internet or even better on TV," Sakura said laughing like a mad person. Jiraiya shuffled in seat nervously, and then looked at Ino. The blond girl rolled her eyes.
"We're getting revenge for what he did to us earlier," she explained. Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. Ino and Sakura hung their heads in shame. "We made a bet that he couldn't strip in front of people…and he stripped in front of us….and...Now we... can't wear …panties with our uniforms," Ino mumbled quietly. But Jiraiya still heard it because he was having a major nosebleed. (Mind u the uniforms-bc jiraiya is a perv- are tight stomach shirts with mini shirts)
"Oi everybody! Hello? Come on can I at least have your attention? Okay got a few people! OH! Oh now everybody decides to look. Thanks anyway most of you are thinking 'Who's the hottie?' and 'Will he stop shouting into the microphone?' well I won't stop so suck it up. My name is Naruto and apparently I'm so desperate for a job that I'm actually going sing and dance. Maybe even strip. (people start to whistle) but that will depend if I can make you guys come again." The blond smiled and started looking in the crowd for a specific person. When he didn't see him, the blond frowned. Naruto was about to say something, he felt his phone vibrate again. Naruto smiled and said, "Before I humiliate myself let me answer a text." The men started booing so Naruto told them to stop being such whiny babies. The text said,
Once I pulled in a car ran into mine so at police station
Sorry I missed ur show
luv u- Sai
Well guess the plan will have to wait till tomorrow. The blond turned back to the crowd and said, "Well my boyfriend was supposed to come tonight but another car hit him so he couldn't make it, and I was going to sing a song just for him so change of plans! What song do you guys want me to sing?"
There was shouts of different kinds of songs that the blond couldn't hear all at once. "Okay, Okay, let's just pick somebody. Umm... how about... You! The guy with brown hair and red tattoos on his face!"
The guy was sitting at the bar counter. He rubbed his chin, chuckled a bit to himself then said, "Unstoppable by Kat Deluna."
Naruto shrugged, thought about it. "Okay." He turned his attention to the DJ who had red hair and wore eyeliner with no eyebrows. The DJ looked around for his iPod then plugged it into the stereo. The song started and Naruto backed up and started singing.
"You can talk all you want but my skin is really thick. I'm a leader of a crowd and my game is really slick."
The lights on the stage started changing colors and Naruto started singing with a few dance moves.
"I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable.
You can talk all you want but my skin is really thick.
I'm a leader of a crowd and my game is really slick.
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable."
The blond did a little twirl before singing the next verse.
"Save your pity for tomorrow when I smash it like a ball,
In the club, on the news, I'll be rockin' like rock star.
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable."
The blond froze when he realized the next part was more a girl's part, but was relieved when Ino came on and helped him.
"So supersonic almost ironic, I play it like a game of chess.
You wanna ride like a queen, well here you got the best.
I got the moves to the grooves, you like to imitate it."
Ino did a move to go with song that Naruto couldn't do. (She jiggled her boobs. He could try but I won't do that to him) Ino continued singing.
"That's for free, yeah
That's me! Uh-huh"
Naruto started singing with Ino only quieter.
"Wanna whip me something crazy moving,
Faster than the speed of light.
Show you the way an entertainer always gets them right.
Gonna need a back-up plan 'cause,
I'm givin' you a shot
Watch me flippin' now.
Yeah that's me! Uh-huh"
Ino steps back and lets Naruto sing.
"You can talk all you want, but my skin is really thick.
I'm a leader of a crowd and my game is really slick.
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable.
Save your pity for tomorrow when I smash it like a ball.
In the club, on the news, I'll be rockin' like a rock star!
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable unstoppable."
Ino and Naruto switch places on the stage and Ino sings her part.
"Now shake your body like you got the jungle fever,
Rushing through your veins.
We gettin' crazy and the club is banging through your brain.
When I say jump you jump jump, its knockin' knockin'.
I wanna see you jump like this beat is rockin'".
Naruto comes forward and starts singing back up with her.
"Love bite on my bracelet, kinda fancy, but it's how I play.
You wanna come along and see and holler at me.
Maybe I lost it, maybe not, 'cause I got game like a burning fame.
Yeah, that's me! Uh-huh!"
Ino backs up and watches the blond take over.
"You can talk all you want, but my skin is really thick.
I'm a leader of a crowd and my game is really slick.
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable.
Save your pity for tomorrow when I smash it like a ball.
In the club, on the news, I'll be rockin' like a rock star.
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable."
Naruto hops off the stage and starts grinding with some of the men in the club. Ino smiles as she makes her way of the stage.
"Fa-fa-fa-fa-follow the leader,
Fa-fa-fa-fa-follow the leader,
Fa-fa-fa-fa-follow the leader,
Fa-fa-fa-fa-follow the leader.
You can talk all you want, but my skin is really thick.
I'm the leader of the crowd and my game is really slick.
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable."
The blond gave a few guys winks as he stopped grinding and pushed his way through the crowd to the guy who picked the song.
"Save your pity for tomorrow when I smash it like a ball.
In the club, on the news, I'll be rocking like a rock star!
I'm unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable."
Naruto smiled at all the noises he got from the show as he sat next to the guy. The DJ started up another song as soon as that song ended. The man smiled at the blond showing him fangs.
"Hello Sunshine!" Naruto punched him the arm playfully..
"Don't go making fun of my hair dog-breath!" Naruto shouted loud enough to be heard over the blaring music. The brunette laughed at his nickname.
"Do you want a drink?" the man shouted so the blond could hear. Naruto shook his head.
"I actually wanted to know your name," the blond shouted. The brunette grinned.
"Name's Kiba, you're Naruto right?" the man asked over the music. Naruto nodded. "Just asking, you aren't gay, are you?" the blond shrugged.
"Depends." Kiba raised an eyebrow.
"You aren't hitting on me right?" Naruto laughed at his new friend's remark.
"No, just still confused with my sexuality. You aren't gay I'm guessing?" Kiba shook his head.
"Nope totally straight!" the brunette gave another toothy grin. That confused the blond.
"Then what are you doing here?" Naruto asked watching the brunette take a swig of his drink.
"My girlfriend is friends with the bartender, Temari,"Kiba said pointed at the golden hair girl with four ponytails in her hair giving men drinks. "And her brother Gaara," pointing at the DJ. "Temari has a bad habit of drinking on the job and Gaara loses track of the time so I'm supposed to get them in the dorms before ten." Naruto perked up.
"You go to College?" the blond shouted in amazement. The brunette gave Naruto a weird look.
"Yeah…everybody does, ya know so we can get good jobs." Naruto frowned and mumbled something. Kiba gave a confused look. "What?" the blond sighed.
"I said, 'not everybody'". Then it dawned on Kiba what he meant.
"Hey its okay! To be honest I hate college! Ugh my teacher Gai is the worse! He is always going on about youth, 'YOUTH!' and 'You will never be good YOUTHful students if you never experienced the YOUTHful power of YOUTH!'" Kiba mocked his teacher which made Naruto laugh. "Hey do you want to hang out sometime? You can meet my friends and I can meet yours," the brunette offered.
"Yeah that would be fun. How about sometime tomorrow?" Naruto asked because it was a weekend.
Kiba thought about then answered, "I'll see how many people can come, wait… where are we going?"
Shit forgot about that! Wait wasn't there going to be some famous people at the mall for autographs?
"What about the mall? Heard there was some famous actors from a movie going to sign autographs, and selling some cool stuff. Perfect for getting the ladies to come." Kiba grinned at the idea.
"Yeah Hinata is going to love that! Oh! Can I have your number so we know where to meet and such?" Naruto nodded and wrote his number on a napkin. Kiba dialed it into his phone and looked at the time.
"Well its getting close to ten. Gotta get Gaara and Temari outta here!" with that, Kiba got up, rounded up the siblings and headed out of the club. Naruto sighed and walked into the employee's room where he found Sakura and Ino grinning mischievously in front of the computer.
"Whatcha whores doing?" he asked as he walked passed them and sat on the couch near the TV.
Sakura smirked and said, "Just uploading a video to YouTube about a gay blond singing at a gay club." Naruto choked on his spit.
"YOU WHAT?!"
Yep there is going to be alot more songs sooooo yeaaaaaaah R&R