Disclamer: I don't own any of the characters or people mentioned the
ramblings.
Ok. So this is how this is going to work. My friend and I wrote down all
these names and put what they are going to be for this story. We then draw
random names from the shoe box and write them into the story.
WARNING: READING THIS FIC WOULD RESULT IN A SERIOUS WASTE OF TIME! _____________________________________________________________
*News caster music* "This just in, giant balloons are heading straight for earth. Because of the mass of the balloon they would be deadly if they popped on skyscrapers or fell into the ocean creating massive tidal waves thus killing millions and millions of people. We will be talking to many people from around the world about how to save our planets. Our first guest tonight is. HIEI THE CHEERLEADER from demon high in Tokyo, Japan.
"Hiei, what do you think we should do?"
"Well I think that we should FRY THEM FRY THEM AND IF YOU CAN'T FRY THEM well then you know we're all gonna die cause I'm not gonna do it."
"Yes. yes well thank you for your input hiei!"
"L-E-T-S G-O LETS GO LETS GO!" Does cartwheels of stage.
"Yes well our next guest is. well she is a ah a. business woman ah what the hell she is a hooker. MINNIE MOUSE!"
"Welcome to the show! What do you think we should do about the giant balloons?"
"I think all it takes is a little lovin just a little lovin and they'll be fine."
"Uh. yeah I'm sure that's all it takes. have a nice day."
"But I'm not done!"
"Yes, yes you are." "Our next guest is. Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the 4th!"
"Ed what do you think should be done about the the balloon issue."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH PUDDING! BALLOONS WEEEEEEEE YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! BALLOONS POPPING! WEEEEEEE! HEHEEHEHE."
"Um. yeah. the pudding idea. that. that. may just work."
"Our next guest is. old man quasi! Sir what do you think we should do about the balloons."
"BALLOONS! I remember when those stupid black kids came to my house and threw water balloons at me. I hate them black people. They're always messin up everything."
"Um. sir. are you blind?"
"I have been all my life."
"Um. sir. I hate to brake it to ya but your black."
"WHAT!!!!! Whachu talkin bout boy?"
*People come and drag him off stage.*
"Um. Our next guest is none other than president Ein. President what should we do about the balloons."
"Bark bark bark ba bar bark bark!"
"Ok sir. He said to get duck tape and seal your windows encase of a chemical attack. Ok sir. um. yeah. what should we do about the world hunger crises?"
"Bark bark woof (thought I'd mix it up a bit.) bark bark!!"
"Yes very true if the balloons do. destroy earth. there won't /be/ a hunger crises." "Good day president. Our next guest is former youth pastor Matt "Hanky" Hankenson. Sir what should we do about the balloon crises?"
"First off I just want to ask all you balloons out there how you are all doin tonight. HOW Y'ALL DOIN TONIGHT I CAN'T HEAR YOU! HOW Y'ALL DOIN TONIGHT?! Well I don't know what to do about the balloon crises but I DO know what to do about the presidential crises! That dog should not be president of the world! Vote for me your albino Hitler president."
"Will do. Good bye sir. Our next guest is. Little Kuwabara! Awwwww how cute! Goochy goochy goo! Ok anywho what should we do about the balloon crises"
"Balloons! Mommy I want balloon! Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Ah oh Kuwabara make a poopy!"
"Oh man it REEKS! AHHHHHH MY FACE IT BUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
*People come and take the baby away.*
"Our next guest is. Vicious the world renowned Pinocchio memorabilia collector. Bishy. I mean I mean yum. *drool* VICIOUS! Yeah that's it VICIOUS! What should we do about the balloon crises?"
"We should pop em. Pinocchio if you're out there MARRY ME!"
"Ok. Good advice. Our next guest is.Tenchi! Tenchi what should we do about the balloon crises?"
"I got all my, my girls. You want a girl? No? ok. We should do that you know that thing you know werd."
"Ok. well our next guest is. Kikyou the brain. Literally people she's a brain. So what should we do about the balloon crises?"
"I say we use our brain power. Send the evil with our telepathy. Send it away."
"Huhahauhahaah. oohh. What? Oooooooook. Our next guest is.Inuyasha the Candy Nazi! Inuyasha, what do you think we should do?"
"Man I say we burn all the sugar fields! Burn 'em! Monday through Friday that is. And that's what we should do to the balloons! Burn 'em Burn those Moe Fo's! Mwahahaha! Remember boys and girls don't eat sugar or wheat!"
"Riiiight. Anyway. Our next guest is Kurama from Hicksville! Mr. Kurama. *sigh* lemme just ask a question. How do you stay so pretty with so much /dirt/?"
"Well, uhh, my mama says to take a bath oh. every so often. Besides. I got my pappy's looks."
"And what do you think we should do about the balloons?"
"I dunno. do they's gots cows?"
"Uh. they're balloons. Anyways our next guest is Piglett! The Mexican Macho Man Dancer! *Girls scream and a couple of cat calls*"
"The name's Hogg, Muchos Gracias."
"Now then. what should we do about the balloons?"
"I say we show them gringos how to cha-cha and boogie them right out of here!"
"Yeah. Uh-huh. Um. our next guest is Shippo, Ancient Japan's star quarterback! Shippo, what should we do in this time of crisis?"
"Man, I think we should shoot them with a touchdown fox fire and pull a statue-of-liberty on them and pummel them into the ground!"
"Sir, if we did that we'd all tumble into the vast reaches of space."
"Whatever. I got to go meet my girl Kikyou down at the bar."
"Right. Our next guest is Sesshomaru *drools uncontrollably* . *jumps him* You are mine! Yay! I got sexy Sessy! *Sessy is dazed* Ahem. well uhh. *drags Sessy under desk* Uh. We'll be back after this uh. 5 minute break."
"Great. just long enough for a quickie."
"Ooo Sessy!"
*Do you have party nightmares? Are they a drag? Do you miss those childhood memories? What you need are Acme's Giant Balloons! Guaranteed to make your party a bang!*
"*Out of breath and fixing hair* OK Sessy. what should we do about the balloon crisis?"
"Well, I say we send them all valentines and when they see how much we love them they'll come out. And when they come out in the open, We All Burn The SOBs! Mwahahahaha!"
"Very good 'input' Sessy, I'll be seeing you after the show? Wait for me in my dressing room. Our next guest is. Haku from the major motion picture Spirited Away! Haku what should be done about the massive inflatables?"
"Well, give me the beat boys it freed my soul I wanna get lost in that rock -n -roll drift away. Oh uh. sorry about that heheh. *runs off stage in embarrassment*"
"Well. that was. interesting.Any who, next is the interior designer we all know and love, the fun, the toga-wearing. GANDALF THE GAY! Gandalf, what should be done about the balloons attacking earth?"
"Oh my, dear, what on earth are you wearing?!? You never mithx brown with red polka doths. And asth a matter of fact never wear polka doths, dear, they are not flattering. Now what about thisth kid over heere, I do not underthtand what isth going on with the Ninja Turtlesth! And thosthe balloonsth are pink! That isth stho not in! I sthay we put those balloonsth in fashion jail !"
"Um. really? Does my outfit look /that/ bad? Hmm. Oh well our next guest tonight is.Agent Smith from the Matrix! Agent Smith, can we get one "Mr. Anderson" out of you?" "No, Mrs. Anchor-son. See I would only say that /if/ we were in the Matrix. But don't worry there /is/ no Matrix. Then why does it say Matrix on the bottle? There's only one thing that you need to know, and that's to drink more Agentade. It will kill those rebel balloons once, and for all. The Agents have you."
"OK I am officially scared now! Our next guest is Vash the Stampede! The famous model the whole world knows about and makes 60 billion double dollars a year alone just for looking good!"
"Yeah I know."
"Tell me Mr. Vash, what do you think we should do about the balloons?"
"I think that they deserve a chance. They deserve a chance to look just as good as me! Everyone deserves a chance to be beautiful!"
"I totally agree! Everyone deserves to have a chance to be beautiful like us Vash!"
"Um. I wasn't necessarily meaning you."
"Grr. Get off my show! *Pant pant* Ok our last guest is our very own self esteem aerobics instructor, Knives Millions! Knives, how does it feel to be about to die now that so much time has gone by with this show that the end is coming near?"
"Eh. I don't notice the difference all that much. But all you people need to be happy! And the only way to be happy is to take care of your bodies! I know you can do it, I believe in you! Oh and about the balloons. why don't you just shoot them full of nukes?"
"Good point. Well now that we've interviewed everyone lets go outside where everyone is trying out their ideas!" ___________________________________________________________ Ok that's it for this chapter. The next chapter is what happens when they try their ideas. Hehe. It should be interesting.
REVIEW THE DANCING SINCKER BARS CAMMAND YOU!
Shameless plug: Read our other story "all things amuck in the land of howarts."
Press the little review button. Come on. You can do it.
WARNING: READING THIS FIC WOULD RESULT IN A SERIOUS WASTE OF TIME! _____________________________________________________________
*News caster music* "This just in, giant balloons are heading straight for earth. Because of the mass of the balloon they would be deadly if they popped on skyscrapers or fell into the ocean creating massive tidal waves thus killing millions and millions of people. We will be talking to many people from around the world about how to save our planets. Our first guest tonight is. HIEI THE CHEERLEADER from demon high in Tokyo, Japan.
"Hiei, what do you think we should do?"
"Well I think that we should FRY THEM FRY THEM AND IF YOU CAN'T FRY THEM well then you know we're all gonna die cause I'm not gonna do it."
"Yes. yes well thank you for your input hiei!"
"L-E-T-S G-O LETS GO LETS GO!" Does cartwheels of stage.
"Yes well our next guest is. well she is a ah a. business woman ah what the hell she is a hooker. MINNIE MOUSE!"
"Welcome to the show! What do you think we should do about the giant balloons?"
"I think all it takes is a little lovin just a little lovin and they'll be fine."
"Uh. yeah I'm sure that's all it takes. have a nice day."
"But I'm not done!"
"Yes, yes you are." "Our next guest is. Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the 4th!"
"Ed what do you think should be done about the the balloon issue."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH PUDDING! BALLOONS WEEEEEEEE YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! BALLOONS POPPING! WEEEEEEE! HEHEEHEHE."
"Um. yeah. the pudding idea. that. that. may just work."
"Our next guest is. old man quasi! Sir what do you think we should do about the balloons."
"BALLOONS! I remember when those stupid black kids came to my house and threw water balloons at me. I hate them black people. They're always messin up everything."
"Um. sir. are you blind?"
"I have been all my life."
"Um. sir. I hate to brake it to ya but your black."
"WHAT!!!!! Whachu talkin bout boy?"
*People come and drag him off stage.*
"Um. Our next guest is none other than president Ein. President what should we do about the balloons."
"Bark bark bark ba bar bark bark!"
"Ok sir. He said to get duck tape and seal your windows encase of a chemical attack. Ok sir. um. yeah. what should we do about the world hunger crises?"
"Bark bark woof (thought I'd mix it up a bit.) bark bark!!"
"Yes very true if the balloons do. destroy earth. there won't /be/ a hunger crises." "Good day president. Our next guest is former youth pastor Matt "Hanky" Hankenson. Sir what should we do about the balloon crises?"
"First off I just want to ask all you balloons out there how you are all doin tonight. HOW Y'ALL DOIN TONIGHT I CAN'T HEAR YOU! HOW Y'ALL DOIN TONIGHT?! Well I don't know what to do about the balloon crises but I DO know what to do about the presidential crises! That dog should not be president of the world! Vote for me your albino Hitler president."
"Will do. Good bye sir. Our next guest is. Little Kuwabara! Awwwww how cute! Goochy goochy goo! Ok anywho what should we do about the balloon crises"
"Balloons! Mommy I want balloon! Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Ah oh Kuwabara make a poopy!"
"Oh man it REEKS! AHHHHHH MY FACE IT BUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
*People come and take the baby away.*
"Our next guest is. Vicious the world renowned Pinocchio memorabilia collector. Bishy. I mean I mean yum. *drool* VICIOUS! Yeah that's it VICIOUS! What should we do about the balloon crises?"
"We should pop em. Pinocchio if you're out there MARRY ME!"
"Ok. Good advice. Our next guest is.Tenchi! Tenchi what should we do about the balloon crises?"
"I got all my, my girls. You want a girl? No? ok. We should do that you know that thing you know werd."
"Ok. well our next guest is. Kikyou the brain. Literally people she's a brain. So what should we do about the balloon crises?"
"I say we use our brain power. Send the evil with our telepathy. Send it away."
"Huhahauhahaah. oohh. What? Oooooooook. Our next guest is.Inuyasha the Candy Nazi! Inuyasha, what do you think we should do?"
"Man I say we burn all the sugar fields! Burn 'em! Monday through Friday that is. And that's what we should do to the balloons! Burn 'em Burn those Moe Fo's! Mwahahaha! Remember boys and girls don't eat sugar or wheat!"
"Riiiight. Anyway. Our next guest is Kurama from Hicksville! Mr. Kurama. *sigh* lemme just ask a question. How do you stay so pretty with so much /dirt/?"
"Well, uhh, my mama says to take a bath oh. every so often. Besides. I got my pappy's looks."
"And what do you think we should do about the balloons?"
"I dunno. do they's gots cows?"
"Uh. they're balloons. Anyways our next guest is Piglett! The Mexican Macho Man Dancer! *Girls scream and a couple of cat calls*"
"The name's Hogg, Muchos Gracias."
"Now then. what should we do about the balloons?"
"I say we show them gringos how to cha-cha and boogie them right out of here!"
"Yeah. Uh-huh. Um. our next guest is Shippo, Ancient Japan's star quarterback! Shippo, what should we do in this time of crisis?"
"Man, I think we should shoot them with a touchdown fox fire and pull a statue-of-liberty on them and pummel them into the ground!"
"Sir, if we did that we'd all tumble into the vast reaches of space."
"Whatever. I got to go meet my girl Kikyou down at the bar."
"Right. Our next guest is Sesshomaru *drools uncontrollably* . *jumps him* You are mine! Yay! I got sexy Sessy! *Sessy is dazed* Ahem. well uhh. *drags Sessy under desk* Uh. We'll be back after this uh. 5 minute break."
"Great. just long enough for a quickie."
"Ooo Sessy!"
*Do you have party nightmares? Are they a drag? Do you miss those childhood memories? What you need are Acme's Giant Balloons! Guaranteed to make your party a bang!*
"*Out of breath and fixing hair* OK Sessy. what should we do about the balloon crisis?"
"Well, I say we send them all valentines and when they see how much we love them they'll come out. And when they come out in the open, We All Burn The SOBs! Mwahahahaha!"
"Very good 'input' Sessy, I'll be seeing you after the show? Wait for me in my dressing room. Our next guest is. Haku from the major motion picture Spirited Away! Haku what should be done about the massive inflatables?"
"Well, give me the beat boys it freed my soul I wanna get lost in that rock -n -roll drift away. Oh uh. sorry about that heheh. *runs off stage in embarrassment*"
"Well. that was. interesting.Any who, next is the interior designer we all know and love, the fun, the toga-wearing. GANDALF THE GAY! Gandalf, what should be done about the balloons attacking earth?"
"Oh my, dear, what on earth are you wearing?!? You never mithx brown with red polka doths. And asth a matter of fact never wear polka doths, dear, they are not flattering. Now what about thisth kid over heere, I do not underthtand what isth going on with the Ninja Turtlesth! And thosthe balloonsth are pink! That isth stho not in! I sthay we put those balloonsth in fashion jail !"
"Um. really? Does my outfit look /that/ bad? Hmm. Oh well our next guest tonight is.Agent Smith from the Matrix! Agent Smith, can we get one "Mr. Anderson" out of you?" "No, Mrs. Anchor-son. See I would only say that /if/ we were in the Matrix. But don't worry there /is/ no Matrix. Then why does it say Matrix on the bottle? There's only one thing that you need to know, and that's to drink more Agentade. It will kill those rebel balloons once, and for all. The Agents have you."
"OK I am officially scared now! Our next guest is Vash the Stampede! The famous model the whole world knows about and makes 60 billion double dollars a year alone just for looking good!"
"Yeah I know."
"Tell me Mr. Vash, what do you think we should do about the balloons?"
"I think that they deserve a chance. They deserve a chance to look just as good as me! Everyone deserves a chance to be beautiful!"
"I totally agree! Everyone deserves to have a chance to be beautiful like us Vash!"
"Um. I wasn't necessarily meaning you."
"Grr. Get off my show! *Pant pant* Ok our last guest is our very own self esteem aerobics instructor, Knives Millions! Knives, how does it feel to be about to die now that so much time has gone by with this show that the end is coming near?"
"Eh. I don't notice the difference all that much. But all you people need to be happy! And the only way to be happy is to take care of your bodies! I know you can do it, I believe in you! Oh and about the balloons. why don't you just shoot them full of nukes?"
"Good point. Well now that we've interviewed everyone lets go outside where everyone is trying out their ideas!" ___________________________________________________________ Ok that's it for this chapter. The next chapter is what happens when they try their ideas. Hehe. It should be interesting.
REVIEW THE DANCING SINCKER BARS CAMMAND YOU!
Shameless plug: Read our other story "all things amuck in the land of howarts."
Press the little review button. Come on. You can do it.