Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did the death of (insert spoiler) and (insert spoiler) would have never happened T-T
This is my FIRST fanfic. so please be nice and R&R arigato. Oh and this is a SasuHina story...so if u don't like it, read something else
Hinata's Diary:
May 25- I think today I've finally noticed how alone I am. I know that I'm different; I think it's my shyness, but maybe because I'm a Hyuuga.
Another thing I've realized is that I'm, ano…I'm very very… perverted. (blush) I don't know why (maybe it's those books, hmm), but my dreams have suddenly went form finding my true love to doing things with him—use your imagination (falls to ground from nosebleed)
My dreams are very graphic you might say, it's so embarrassing, I don't know what I'd do if Neji-niisan finds out. What if the villagers find out, oh what a disgrace!
They might say things like, "Well she is twenty-one" or "I think the Hyuuga's suffer from sex-deprivation, that's why they're so serious." Oh Kami, I must stop doing this.
I never quite admitted it to myself, but I don't think I like Naruto anymore. I think I know what caused this change, when I was younger I looked up to him, and I tried to make my father proud, yet I was a failure.
I know that other think that I'm weak, but I'm just showing them my outside. I may faint or stutter, but I swore to myself that I'd never cry in public. I'm even weaker when I'm alone in my room.
I want a mother love and a lover's comfort, but all I have is my father's defection. I don't think anyone cares if I live or die. Well back to my story on Naruto, since I spend most of my time alone, I think.
Nobody knows how much my personality has changed. As a child I loved the summer, the sunny days, happy moments; maybe that's why was so attracted to Naruto, and the confidence he gave me.
My favorite color, back then, changed form pink, to yellow, to orange. I hated storms and the sound of thunder frightened me.
I've grown up, and I no longer love the summer and the sunny days. I love the fall and the winter, the cool breezes, and the harsh rain. I'm no longer afraid of the thunder only welcoming it to my ears.
I'm no longer attracted to warm colors or Naruto. I love light pink, lavender, and surprisingly gray. I don't know why I've changed maybe I'm turning into a cold, loveless Hyuuga. I've tried not to change, but I've succumbed to my love of darkness, pain, and ano… perverseness.
People always say it's the quiet ones, they're right. I think it would surprise people to know what I think, especially Neji-niisan (who thinks I'm so innocent). I can't describe how I feel when I hear the wind brush through the trees or the soft patter of the rain on the gutter.
I think I'm the only one who thinks like this, well may the only girl (I don't know what goes through guys' minds). (sigh) I better go to bed now. Till later diary
May 31- I know this sounds funny, but I now have resorted to talking to myself (in my mind). I usually debate who the guy in my dream is.
I can't really see him (it's dark in my dream), and whenever he's about to turn on a light, I wake up. Ano… let's see, other than my dreaming (blush) I study scrolls too. I love reading and solving mathematical equations now.
I forgot to mention that I really enjoy reading mysteries an adventure stories, but one day Temari-chan gave me a book for my 16th birthday. She told me I was too shy and naive and to "live a little," and I read the book.
When I started I never bothered to check the inside cover on what the book was about, big mistake. The book was a girl version of Jiraiya-sama's books (someone told me, I didn't read his books!).
The book was by someone name T. S. Unade, wonder who that is. The embarrassing thing is that I can't stop reading them! Those books must have started my perverted dreams! It's horrible, reading was my get away, a time I could pretend to be an American detective or a beautiful actress.
Now reading is like a tool for my own sick perversion. I don't think Temari-chan knows how much damage she's caused (Temari coughs somewhere in Suna).
June 12- I think I'm depressed; everybody I know has someone to talk to (of the opposite sex). I mean Naruto has Sakura (I'm not jealous!), Shikamaru has Temari, Chouji has Ino, even Neji-niisan has Tenten.
I forgot about the others, well Gaara, Kankuro, Lee, Shino, AND Kiba told me they found some "hot girls in Suna."
Every time I think about how happy everyone else is, I start to think: I'm not strong willed like Sakura, stubborn yet cool like Temari, confidant as Tenten, beautiful as Ino, I don't even think I'm as pretty as the girls from Suna.
I really must talk to Kurenai-sensei about this (small note to diary: EVEN KURENAI-SENSEI HAS ASUMA-SENSEI!!)
Note: to everyone who reads this, i know it doesn't seem like it, but there will be sasuhina interaction (next chapter). and next chapter is a POV not a diary entry. And sorry for the pervertedness XD