Katie Misses Hubbell

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way...
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

-Henry Mancini, "Moon River"

Luke wants to simply sit in his truck and watch the house. It usually makes him feel at ease, warm almost, but just now it broke his heart a little. Maybe because a piece of him is still there with Lorelai. And he's afraid he'll never get it back. He chides himself for being so nostalgic and pulls out of the driveway, but he's tempted to glance in his rear view mirror for a glimpse of her. He wanted to embrace her as soon as he saw her walk across the lawn. He had wanted to comfort her, tell her he was sorry he had made her so upset. And from the look on her face, that's what she had wanted too, but she had put up that wall. That stupid Wonderwoman, I'm Miss Independent, Lorelai wall. He shakes his head, pulling out towards the main square, fingering the pocket he placed the tape in.

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Lorelai shuts the front door, not sure what to do. Her legs had been shaking outside—as much as she wanted to see Luke, she didn't; it's still too raw. She can't cry anymore, her eyes are scratchy and her sides hurt from sobbing. She needs her best friend. She quickly turns to look out the front door, but Luke's brake lights have already vanished.

She doesn't want to call Rory. She doesn't want to bother Sookie. So she does what she has for the past two days: she sits. But this time it's on the couch downstairs, pulling the blanket across her lap as she analyzes the weekend's events. Again.

She realizes she's angry with herself, why, she doesn't exactly know. Maybe for leaving the message on his machine, for pressing him to tell her what was wrong: she knows Luke has to process things, but that didn't stop her. She's angry with him too, because he's turned back into the old Luke, the withdrawn Luke, who had watched her and loved her for years, but never said a word. I broke his heart a long time ago, she thought. Now he's breaking mine.

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When Luke gets back to his apartment, he sets his jacket down and it clunks against the wood of the chair. Sighing, he draws the tape out of the pocket. His fingers fumble as he puts it back in the machine, hits the rewind button. He listens to the other messages Lorelai had left him in days prior to the vow renewal: Call me later, okay? I want to see you.

But never "I love you." Never "all in" until now, when she was about to lose him. Lorelai's voice breaking on the machine catches his attention.

Hey Luke, it's me. I know I'm not supposed to be calling but I'm not doing really great right now.

Luke put his head in his hands, listening to her voice fade in and out, how she paused, like she had tonight right before she had called him her ex-boyfriend. Luke remembers Kirk telling him the next movie was going to be The Way We Were. He wonders if Lorelai knows this or if she thought of that movie on her own. He realizes she probably has no idea since, according to town rumor, she hasn't been out of her house in two days. She hasn't been out of her house in two days and I did it to her. He sighs as the messages end, then presses rewind again so he can hear her voice before he falls asleep.

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Lorelai showers and dresses slowly the next morning, surprising herself as she opens the front door to walk to her car. This feels too normal, she thinks, knowing it shouldn't. She calls Sookie to see if she's making breakfast at the inn. She isn't, but she says she can start. Lorelai nods, her stomach rumbling as she pulls out of her driveway. She circles the town, going to the Dragonfly the back way, so she doesn't have to see everyone and their stupid ribbons, but especially so she doesn't have to see him.

Sookie is chipper and upbeat and Lorelai feels anything but. She doesn't tell Sookie about running into Luke at the market or the message she left.

She stays late, avoiding going home. She's spent too much time in that house lately, but she doesn't have anywhere else to go. Taking solace in a cup of coffee at Luke's is not an option. But she drives back through the main square anyway, noticing the glow from within the diner. She slams her foot on the brake as she noticed the sign at the Black, White and Read.

The Way We Were. Of course. She fishes money out of her purse and hands it to Kirk as her feet carry her inside, her eyes avoiding the pink and blue ribbon tied together on his jacket. The room is already dark, but no one is there, so she takes a seat on the couch.

Big Red. Luke was sitting on Big Red on Saturday night, we sat here together and watched Pippi.. We're Katie and Hubbell, except I'm not a Communist and he's not a writer. She doesn't even realize she's crying until someone sits down next to her. She wipes her cheek with her sleeve quickly, not wanting to see who it is. Probably someone else trying to cheer her up, wearing a pink ribbon.

But it's not. It's not anywhere close. It's Luke. For a moment, she wants to pinch herself, wants to make sure this isn't the same dream all over again. She looks at him, her eyes wide, and he looks back at her, then points to the screen.

"You should watch the movie," he says nonchalantly. She glances back at the screen, but notices the sad smile on his face. Say something.

"Luke, I-" She starts.

"Shh," he instructs. "It's the good part. Katie misses Hubbell."

"Me too," she whispers, her eyes not leaving his face.

fin