Dear Chris, with Love and Squalor

by digsunsets

Gordie writes a short letter on the day of the ten year high school reunion that no one will ever read about his regrets for not telling Chris how much he meant to him. Inspired by For Esmé, with Love and Squalor by J.D. Salinger. I don't own either story, don't sue me.

June 1974

Dear Chris, with love and squalor

You're not going to the CRHS reunion, and you're never going to read this, but I was thinking of you. It may be terribly nostalgic to say so; even to my own ears, I sound like a maudlin fool. After the age of twelve, I never told you how much you impacted my life for the better. I almost did on our graduation day after your mother made you, Vern, Teddy, and I stand together for a photo with her new Instamatic 100. Sure, we all felt incredibly awkward after not talking since junior high, but it certainly was a Kodak moment. I really did want to have some major soliloquy that day about our friendship, but no one would have listened. I spotted you in the parking lot after the ceremony with some girl in your rusty truck. I thought about talking to you then, but not even my PF Flyers could take me where in my heart, I knew I wasn't wanted. That's my problem, Chris. I think everyone has something better to do without me. Maybe that's why I have never had a friend as perfect as you were, and you were the perfect friend, or that's how I'd like to remember it anyway. I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

Love, Your friend, Sincerely,

Gordie LaChance