Chapter 1: Bloody Murder
john smith was a lonely man living in broker, liberty city. he worked at clucking bells and made chicken for people to eat but it wasn't really chicken it was horse testicles, the secret ingredient.
it was a cold morning of january 18, 2009 and john smith was in his grey uranus headed to work at clucking bells. he came up to a red light and stopped.
"boy i hope this light turns green soon" said john smith.
a guy behind john smiths car started honking his horn at john smith and then crashed into the back of his car.
"damn it. how come every time i wait at red lights do people crash into the back of my uranus. i hate this city" yelled john smith loudly.
then the light turned green and john smith's car kept driving, even though the bumper was dented now. john smith came to an intersection and all the cars were lined up waiting even though the light was green.
"why does everyone at this intersection stop at green light and go at red light?" wondered john smith.
john smith honked his car horn and all the pedestrians on the street started running and screaming.
"why do people always run away and screaming when i honk my car horn" wondered john smith again.
john smith was almost at work now and he drove his grey uranus up to work now. he parked outside clucking bells and went inside and got into his uniform and went behind the counter and served people chicken that was actually horse testicles and made food and served more people and went to the bathroom and washed his hands and served more people and then left.
john smith got back into his grey uranus car after a long day of hard work. he pulled out in his car and started driving home. the sun was going down and the city's skyline looked very pretty even though some of the skyscrapers kept popping in and out of view because of the draw distance.
"liberty city is the best city in the world. the only one i can think of that is better is new york city" said john smith admirably.
john smiths cell phone started ringing its ringtone that was the GTA III pager sound because GTA III was john smith's favorite GTA game and his cell phone wallpaper was the clucking bells one. he answered his phone and said hello.
"hello" said john smith into his phone.
"hello john smith, this is your girlfriend joanne smith calling you" said joanne smith into her phone that also had the GTA III pager ringtone but had the burger shot wallpaper and not the clucking bells one because joanne smith liked burger shot better than clucking bells.
"oh hi joanne smith" said john smith.
"i need you to come quick, i have a big problem" said joanne smith.
"what is wrong, sugar plum" said john smith.
"i think some man followed me home from work and he's outside my apartment trying to break in" said joanne smith in a nervous voice.
"men follow you home all the time because your titties are out at work" said john smith.
"but this time he has a gun and the baseball bat" said joanne smith.
"don't worry, i'll be right over and teach him a lesson with my pumped action shotgun" said john smith.
"oh, thank you" said joanne smith.
"no problem" said john smith.
"i love you" said joanne smith.
"i love you, too" said john smith.
"bye" said joanne smith.
"bye" said john smith.
john smith hung up his phone and quick made a u turn to head to his girlfriends house in south bohan. he quickly rushed north on the big avenue in dukes and then turned left and got onto the bridge that goes to bohan. he didn't stop for the toll booths because he was rushing fast. he got a one star wanted level but it went away fast.
john smith just arrived in south bohan to his girlfriend's house. her house was the one with that guy that's always outside holding a bible saying stuff real loud. john smith likes to kill that guy every time he sees him but this time he was in a fast rush so he didn't kill him this time.
once inside the building, john smith rushed to the top floor where his girlfriend's apartment was. he didnt see no man with a gun and the baseball bat outside her door. he knocked on the door. there was no answer.
"joanne smith its me john smith your boyfriend, not the guy with a gun and the baseball bat, please open up and let me in, I'm here to protect you" john smith said to joanne smith at the door.
once again there was no answer. so john smith walked against her door and it pushed open automatically. when he was inside he screamed bloody murder at the sight he saw. the sight was a bloody murder literally....
....TO BE CONTINUED....