To Katrina,

Because I promised…

Can This be Happening to Me?

A Clarisse & Joseph story

Joseph was lying on his bed, still dressed, looking at the ceiling, thinking at that quite rough day. His thoughts went toward Clarisse, although he tried to pull himself together, for she was after all Queen and he have been made head of security a few years ago, before King Rupert (King Rupert may rest in peace) has been hit with illness. Thinking how could she stay perfectly calm while all those men composing the parliament did throw knives at her for a project she did put together for quite a long time ago. Yet she didn't let them know just how much she was boiling inside at the mention of the future of the monarchy in Genovia; Clarisse had lost Philippe, who was the crown prince. It was he who was to take her place as King; the bloodline had reached its end. Joseph was breathing deeply, slowly drifting away in another world. Slowly closing his eyes but opening them repeatedly, he decided that perhaps he should take a quick shower and tuck himself under the sheets, drifting away as he would think about what he could do to help the cause. He certainly wouldn't want the Van Tucken to rule that country, for Genovia to stop being as glorious as it is today.

Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia…

He got straight up, got his thoughts together, put his robe on and ran downstairs. Given the time it was, nobody was up except the night shift people. He opened the door leading to the staff's office, sat and immediately opened the computer, reaching out his hand to grab a book in the library, containing the family history. What was the fuss all about? It strokes his mind like a light; Philippe did have a girl with the woman he frequented for many years before accepting his role in Genovia. Where was that girl now? He must find her; she would be Clarisse's only hope of keeping the bloodline in her favor. He had to do quick so he could take care of everything during the day to come. He did call Charlotte on the phone, waking her up.

"Join me in the office NOW!" he almost yelled, but restrained himself, considering the time of the night.

"What's going on Joseph?" she asked, her voice being in hush tone.

"No question, just do as I ask you, please, hurry!" He hung up, looking at the computer again. In no time, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come on in Charlotte." he calmly said, although he would have been tempted to run to the door, letting her enter and rush everything that went through his mind since he'd awoken. He calmly but excitedly showed her the computer screen.

"Where is she now Joseph?" Charlotte asked, a broad smile forming on her lips.

"She would be in San Francisco. There's not much time Charlotte. Let's go and find her!" clearly he was excited. He also thought that it could do Clarisse some good to see family. Since when did he get his attention at what would make her Majesty happy? Since when did he care that much? It wasn't only because of the Van Tucken wanting to run the country again, but couldn't think about where that sudden attention toward the Queen could possibly come from.

"No time for that right now…" he thought to himself, shaking his head.

"Joseph, it's 2 in the morning. I can't call and wake her Majesty at this hour!" she answered him.

"It's only 6pm in San Francisco you know. We could travel by night, less people in the airport!"

"She'd kill me for listening to you; I'll get fired!"

She thought for a second, but didn't have the time to think clearly as Joseph gently shook her arm, getting her to move and wake everybody, her Majesty first.

"Do you know what time it is Charlotte?" the Queen quietly spoke, placing her messed up hair as she's just awoken by the call.

"I'm sorry your Majesty. There would be something of major importance to be discussed as soon as possible. Ouch! now". Joseph had pinched her, getting her to convince her Majesty she'd have to come downstairs right away so they could get to San Francisco before the end of the evening.

"I'm come come coming... aaaatchoum! I'm sorry."

"She's coming down Joseph!"

"GOOD!" he let that one out, as he didn't care since her Majesty herself was up.

"What would you think she'll do?" she asks him, as she's unable to think straight at this hour.

"You ask me Charlotte? How would I know? He answered, innocently.

"Well… you're mostly at her side all the time, so I… I… I thought…" Charlotte answered back.

"Never mind. I hear her coming." He announced to Charlotte as he got up from the chair, tying his robe tight not to let an ounce of flesh be visible.

"What is it?" Clarisse asked, sounding more rude that she intended to, which got two pair of eyes looking at her in a bit of shock. Realising how she's just talked to them, her eyes softened. Joseph and Charlotte sighted, the pressure of the moment cooling down.

"We've found her your Majesty!" Joseph said, being suddenly serious but still pretty excited by the idea.

"Found who Joseph?" She didn't understood what he was talking about, obviously.

"The Genovian crown's savior; His Highness Philippe's daughter Amelia!" He said to her with a smile in his voice.

Her jaw dropped open, a tear forming in her eyes but she had to hold it, keep it for when she would be alone. They mustn't suspect what the news gave to her hopes of keeping the monarchy in the Renaldi family. She nodded, simply, making Joseph and Charlotte exchange one look at each other.

"Would you want to contact her your Majesty?" Charlotte carefully asked.

"Where is she?" Clarisse asked as it has been about fifteen years she didn't had any news from this side of the family.

"Apparently she and her mother Helen are living in San Francisco, where Helen is exposing her art work." Joseph answered as quick as possible, using a tone that would make Clarisse understand that perhaps, she would have to cancel her appointments planned here for the rest of the week and take the plane to San Francisco.

Looking at Charlotte, she asks her when they will leave for the airport.

"In thirty minutes your Majesty. Shade is getting the necessary packed."

"Good Charlotte, thank you. I must get ready then! Let's meet in the grand hall in twenty minutes" She said as she turned around and almost ran back upstairs to get dressed and ready to leave.

They went to their respective rooms and got their suitcases ready. Joseph took a quick shower and took another look at his suitcase, making sure not to forget anything, especially not his poetry books nor his music. When would he find the time to read the book or listen to music anyway?

"This will be an interesting week!" He said to himself, turning off the lights of his room and walking toward the grand hall, his suitcase in his hand. He was the first to be ready "as usual" he thought, so he went directly to the car to help Shades charging, as Clarisse and Charlotte arrived in the hall, ready to leave as well. Shades, as well as Joseph, went to meet them and to take their luggage. Well, mostly Clarisse's luggage. The maids know the woman who rules their country…

"We're all there, let's not lose a minute!" Clarisse said quite abruptly as she went to the car and got inside, followed by Charlotte. After closing their door, Joseph took his seat beside Shades. They took off to the airport. During the ride, Charlotte has been occupied on the phone, calling everybody who had an appointment with her Majesty today. Clarisse was gathering her thoughts together as she looked outside, trying to find all the energy she could in the nature that was defiling in front of her. When they arrived at the airport, they had the many luggage transferred from the car to their private plane as Joseph, Charlotte and Clarisse almost ran to take their places aboard to take off immediately, flying toward San Francisco, for Clarisse to meet the heir to the throne of Genovia, the only heir! But first and foremost, meet her granddaughter, Amelia.

Joseph sat beside Charlotte, to discuss the plans, while Clarisse was in the back, thinking about the journey that had just begun.

"Would she already know about all this? I wouldn't think so, unless Helen did tell her. I most certainly hope not, we had an agreement didn't we? What if she wouldn't be ready to accept her place? Pull yourself together Clarisse, don't be silly." Clarisse said to herself. Yet, for the first time in her life, she was nervous, she must admit it. Clarisse thought she could be cold and somewhat distant about her feelings, she always has, she needed to be.

"Mrs. Helen Thermopolis?" Charlotte asked to the lady who answered the phone.

"Yes" did the lady answered, shortly, unsure if it was yet for another poll or some publicity which she isn't interested in.

"This is Charlotte from the Genovian attaché course…"

Silence could be heard at both ends for a few seconds, when Helen gathered herself and got to talk.

"How can I help you Charlotte?"

"It would be important that your daughter, Ms. Amelia Thermopolis joins us at the embassy as soon as possible; Wednesday afternoon. It is a matter of urgency actually!" on that last word Charlotte held her tongue. How could she intend it was something important? How could she be so unprofessional?

"I certainly will tell her Miss. May I ask what it's all about?" Helen asked, being curious has it concerned her 15-year-old daughter.

"I am sorry ma'am I do not have the liberty to answer." Charlotte felt proud of her answer although she did want to tell her, as she also does not want the Van Tucken to take over the throne of Genovia so it really is an emergency.

"Oh, sure. I will tell her. Thank you for calling." Helen answered shortly, wondering what could possibly been going on. After she hung up the phone, she felt her knees go week and needed to sit to gather her wits. Helen took a deep breath, got up and went to her room, looking for her picture box. Out of it, she looked at some pictures of Philippe she still had. How much did she love that man! He was gone now. Not gone, taken away. Yes he and Helen were divorced but it wasn't from unhappiness; Philippe had a decision to make, either to choose between his life with Helen and their newborn child or to take his mother's place on the throne of Genovia.

"It's planned then!" Joseph and Charlotte have both agree on the arrangements. Joseph got up and went to look for her Majesty, to inform her of the plan he and Charlotte did come up with. He found her asleep on her seat, her head facing toward the window. Without thinking, he grabbed the blanket that was by her said and covered her with it.

"What have I just done?" He thought to himself, starring at her. Her eyes closed, arms crossed; maybe was she looking for heat? "Am I not the head of security? Isn't it my job to look after her safety?" That thought reassured him as he left to go back to Charlotte.

"What did she think of it Joseph?" Charlotte enquired.

"I couldn't tell her, she had fallen asleep, so will I in a few minutes I feel." He answered, making himself comfortable in his seat.

"Maybe I should too. I think we're not far away from the airport."

"It'll be a demanding journey Charlotte… but an interesting one I guess."

"You're probably right Joseph. At least I hope you are!"

They landed in San Francisco a few hours later, when the sun has just awoken. A limousine was waiting for their arrival. They went into the vehicle after the luggage has been transferred again and off to the embassy they were. All together they could review the plan for this week and take some appointments with the other leaders she could talk with about some projects this week; Spain and Portugal. The project for a railroad joining the countries together for commercial matter was to be discussed. It would be good for the pear market in Genovia as they would be easier to export.

Clarisse immediately brushed her hand with her other, still feeling his slight touch. Clarisse glanced quickly at him, her eyes questioning the purpose of his gesture as the protective wall rose in her look. She was used to feel the closeness of his hand on her back when he lead her wherever she had to go, in order to make sure no one would get to her, but never had he even dare brush her hand, her flesh… She rushed her stare back at the pile of paperwork waiting for her.

Joseph felt her nervousness for what he had just dare do, although she did try to hide her confusion, and immediately turned around when he heard Charlotte approaching the office, to announce that Amelia has arrived. Hearing the news, Clarisse scolded her scarf and got up, took a quick glance at the pile of paper she didn't even touch and went to meet with her granddaughter to announce her that perhaps, her life will forever be changed.

"Amelia, I'm so delighted you could come" Clarisse said as she looked at the young woman standing in front of her. She looked at her, from her shoes to her head, remembering how she looked the last time she saw her, fifteen years ago. Her first thoughts wandered at how an incredible challenge it will be to make a princess of her Amelia. Clarisse thought perhaps she mustn't be too harsh on her already, considering she obviously isn't aware of the Genovian royal etiquette. "Nor etiquette either." Clarisse thought but shook her head, trying to get what she had just said about her granddaughter. Could she have been totally unfeeling by now? "Not the time to think about yourself Clarisse but about that young woman before you who is first and foremost your granddaughter!" she thought to herself. "But also the heir to the throne of your country…" she added.

"I don't want to be a princess!" Amelia shouted to the lady who called herself her grandmother but also the lady who had ignored her for the past fifteen years, until today. Deep down in her heart, Clarisse loved her very dearly. She was after all her son's daughter! "And the heir to the throne of your country…" That thought never did escape her mind. She hated to admit it, but… but… she needed help as she couldn't, all alone, make a princess of her. Yes she would give her books to read, teach her how to walk, talk, stand as a princess should. Yet it wasn't enough. She also needed to LOOK like a princess. Not that she thought the young woman wasn't charming. In fact, she thought that if little details were taken care of, Amelia would find a new confidence in herself she'd probably never felt before. But she ran away from the embassy… Poor little dear, she must be scared to death at what is needed from her.

"Will you help me?" Clarisse asked Joseph; for he was someone she knew she could trust entirely. Yet there was something about him that sheltered all the defensive barriers she did raise around herself. How does he do that? She wouldn't know, wouldn't want to know. Or does she?

"Oh…bother!" she thought, not knowing where it came from suddenly. Was she not Queen? Indeed she was. Clarisse was also a woman. The idea of her as a woman did escape her mind a little while ago.

Charlotte, Joseph and her Majesty had dinner together in the staff kitchen and discussed further what they will have to do to help Amelia; help her wake the princess inside her. Obviously there was something to be done about her look. Clarisse didn't really want to point it out given a respect for every human being but it couldn't do anything but help.

"Paolo!" Charlotte exclaimed, having four eyes focused on her. This name brought many funny memories to Clarisse, how he never knows when to stop kissing her hand, for one, which got Joseph angry. It wasn't his fault if kissing the monarch's hand was a sing of respect but yet there was something in the way he does it repeatedly. Fortunately, Clarisse takes her hand back as Joseph pushes Paolo aside.

Clarisse got up from the table, excused herself, although she seemed to enjoy that time being spent alone with them; time spent alone with him…

"Oh no you don't" She thought to herself, rushing toward her room. Joseph stayed where he was, watched her go away, trying to think at what could possibly be on her mind for her to excuse herself from the table when she barely had eaten the food on in her plate. He excused himself as well, leaving Charlotte alone.

He took a shower, took his book and sat in front of a warm blazing fire.

"Nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility: whose texture compels me with the colour of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing

I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens: only something in me understands…" Reading those words, dancing in his mind, Joseph immediately closed the book, for he didn't really want to believe how he could think about the person that was now invading his thoughts every time she was in his sight, every time he was behind watching her…

That time in the plane, when he put the blanket over her shoulder for her not to get cold, how he would have loved to lie at her side, brushing his fingers through her thin hair, Clarisse closing her eyes enjoying the moment, the sweet sensation in gives her.

"She couldn't think that way about you silly! You're just an employee. She's Queen, you're her head of security," He thought to himself before getting up and moving toward his bed, peeling the sheets so he can climb in and have a nice sleep.

A soft moan escaped her mouth as he firmly crushed his lips against hers. It had been a few days since he hadn't seen her. To him, they have been apart for far too long, as childish as it would seem. He needed her he wanted her. Right here, right now. She did find the way to drive him to his limit. It showed in the way he was brushing his body against hers, getting even more excited. She did follow the rhythm he had settled. It wasn't time for boiling desire, asking desperate answers… Gods Clarisse wanted him as much as he did want her. She was almost screaming his name and yet he wasn't even inside her…

When he woke up, he had been sweating. The memory of his dream shocked him.

"That's not the kind of thing she deserves. She deserves tenderness, sweetness. He went toward the bathroom to freshen up his face, looked at his reflection in the mirror, which made him smile. He went back to bed, trying to think what has been wrong with him these last days.

Clarisse went toward him on the sofa and decided to lie down, resting her head on his lap. It wasn't her goal to disturb him from his lecture; she wanted to be with him, feel his embrace, smelling him, feeling content after that rough day. As she settled, he looked down at her, bent down and kissed her lips. Slowly Joseph parted and ran his hand through her thin hair, brushing her neck with his fingers, which made her shiver. She lifts her head up to capture his lips asking, needing more from him…

That was enough! He got up and decided to have a walk outside in the garden. Joseph's pace stopped abruptly when he saw Clarisse sipping her eternal cup of tea by the French doors. His eyes widened, he felt his heartbeat quickened… He went to her but as Joseph went closer, Clarisse didn't move. Perhaps she was upset by something; he wouldn't know why but he knew by the way she was standing, the way her gaze seemed to be focus somewhere out of this world. Oh how he would like to discover that place!

She almost jumped when she realised someone was coming near her.

"Oh, Joseph! You scared me."

"I'm sorry your Majesty, it wasn't my attention at all." He said to her, reassuring her as she witnessed his smile. Yet there seems to be something in his eyes she's never noticed before, a smile she's never seen before.

"Joseph?"

"Your Majesty!" he raised his eyebrow, a questioning look in his eyes, wondering what she would say next.

"Could you please…" she didn't know if she could finish what she was about to ask him, feeling childish. "Oh Joseph! This is so ridiculous I feel like a schoolgirl." At that he grinned, a large smile appeared on his mouth.

"Whatever it is you ask your Majesty I shall say yes."

"Would you… would you… would please call me Clarisse?"

"Clarisse, your Majesty?" he answered back using a teasing tone, which made her blush. Never had he seen her blush before. Never had she blushed in front of him before.

She closed her eyes has she heard him say her name. She must pull herself together otherwise her blush would go deeper.

"Clarisse…" he said, almost whispering. He was quite enjoying the feeling of power it gave him, knowing that at this very moment, the vision he had in front of him wasn't the Queen but Clarisse.

He caught her gaze but Clarisse that it wouldn't be right to dive into his eyes, although she thought she would belong there. How would she know? How would he know?

"I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens: only something in me understands…"

The words were clearer to him now. The only thing he could do was to let the time go by. Hopefully, someday she would give it into him and from that moment he would enjoy the rest of his life with the woman that know occupies a place in his heart. He didn't want to search where this attraction came from but some day will come that he'll want to know where it could lead him, lead them.

Clarisse did ask Joseph to teach the traditional dance of Genovia to Amelia; it was almost a disaster as she did hurt Joseph unintentionally. It didn't take long after she's been excuse to run back home, leaving Joseph and Clarisse alone in the ballroom.

He stayed behind, resting his back against the column, observing her. He moved toward and presses the play button. She didn't understand what he would be doing. For a few seconds she didn't know what to think. His eyes did capture hers. She knew she wanted to enjoy being in his arms for a short moment. Ashe offered his hand to her, Clarisse's eyes softened. In a matter of millisecond, she went from being the Queen, Joseph's employer to plain simple Clarisse. He would be the only one to witness the expression that lights her face. Her, who was used to make speeches, she didn't dare break the ambiance saying anything. He spins her back in; he could have put his arms around her, never let her go. Perhaps it wasn't the moment. It was the moment to enjoy being with Clarisse. As they moved together on the dance floor, following the rhythm of the music, Clarisse inconsciently swayed her hips, at Joseph's delight.

As the music ended, they were both lost into each other's eyes. In the meanwhile, Charlotte came in the ballroom to give some information as how things were evolving, she found herself dumbfounded finding the Queen of Genovia and her head of security exchanging a gaze that spoke out loud. She backed up and decided that perhaps she should keep that to herself.

It was Clarisse who first broke the closed gap between them, her breathing came out uncontrolled. Joseph tried to search her eyes for an answer to his questions, his fears. Searching for some approval for his desires. He would have closed the gap between them, make her tightening her grasp as he would put his lips on hers in a gentle kiss but he was truthfully not daring to cross the line. "Not for the moment." He thought to himself. He watched her move back, return to the table where Clarisse left her belongings, picked them up and went away, in her office. She needed to be alone right now; she couldn't face him right now. Joseph went upstairs to his room to gather his wits and think for a minute at everything that had just happened.

The princess lessons with Amelia were progressing fast enough. She was becoming a princess. Clarisse always knew she had the heart of a princess, though Mia wouldn't have considered herself being of royal blood.

The State dinner was soon but Clarisse knew Amelia was ready. Even Joseph chipped in and helps her practice the entrance, as she will have to enter by herself. It would be different at the Independence Day ball, where she'd enter with the Queen. In spite of what happened during the State dinner, Mia did do well, Clarisse was proud of her.

Clarisse enquired her maid to draw her a bubble bath, for she needed to relax after that quite tiring evening. She excused her staff so she could undress by herself. At first they didn't understand what her Majesty asked but had the obligation to do as they were told and they left the Queen's chamber.

The fire was blazing, dancing in front of Clarisse's eyes as she gazed at the flames. Not dropping her glance at the fire, she brought her to her back, reaching the zip and gently brought it down. Her hands then rested on her shoulder, carefully pushing away the soft fabric of her dress, that by the weight of it dropped to the floor, revealing her slim figure. Nobody was there to see, except Joseph who waited at the door to come in, as he wanted to have a chat.

Feeling that he doesn't have the right to watch nor her Majesty, nor Clarisse undress, he turned his head around, arriving face to face with Charlotte.

"What are you doing?" asked Charlotte, uncertain of what to think of the moment.

"There was a technicality I wanted to discuss with her Majesty, if you mind." Answered Joseph, hoping it would make as much sense as it did in his mind then it would in hers. "Her Majesty is getting to… She's unavailable for the moment." He added, then bit his bottom lip, realising perhaps he might just have sold himself to Charlotte. Fortunately, for his sake, she apparently didn't pay too much attention and turned around and went back to her occupations. He didn't stay too long in front of the chamber's room and did as Charlotte and returned to his room.

As her foot entered in the water, it sent a shiver through her spine, making her escape a deep sigh. She rested her back against the installation and closed her eyes, breathing deeply, relaxing. Clarisse took a washing clothe, dipped in the hot water and crushed it above her shoulder, for the water to wave down on her back, which gave her goose bumps and making her feel the incredible sensation the hot water on her skin gave her. She tilted her head, enjoying the moment of pure relaxation, relief and most of all, abandon. Clarisse moved her hand down, lifting her leg up, massaging it with the soap, breathing the scent of the almond soap. She brought it back into the water and did the same procedure with her other leg. Her hand then went to her opposite arm, as she brushed the washing clothe from the top of her shoulder to her fingertips. After washing her other arm, she moved her hand toward her breast, closing her eyes as her thoughts drifted away… toward Joseph.

"Joseph?" she almost shouted, suddenly waking up from her daydream. Somehow, Clarisse felt neither feelings she's never experienced before, like nor her mind nor her body would belong to her anymore. Clarisse tried to find some answer, because there must be one somewhere, she thought. Her Majesty can't permit herself to lose it, au contraire, she must find it!

The search was exasperating. She searched in her memories of moments she remembered of her and Joseph. Clarisse suddenly felt secure mentioning his name. "Why is that?" she asked herself. She's used to find answers but she was now lost in her own thoughts. "Oh tush!"

She got out of the bath and put her long white silk nightgown and went straight to bed. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, the dinner had taken all of her energy, as it was all focused on Mia, making sure she was doing fine in that first experience for the young girl.

Clarisse let her head fall back as Joseph pushed the swing for she can go higher, her hair flowing against the wind, caressing Joseph's face when she went backward toward him, making him laugh. Each swing she was inches away from him, he'd whisper words in Spanish in her ears, which made her smile broadly.

"Oh, mi amor…"

"Usted es mi alma, mi piedra.."

"Duelo necesitarle.."

"Mi querido"

"Mi esposa"

"Te quiero, te quiero mi amor!"

That time, when the swing brought her back to him, he stopped her and delicately kissed her neck, which made her close her eyes, moving her head backward to give him better access…

XI