Why is it that love is so complicated? I wondered.
Well, that's just it-it's love.
For those of you who don't know me, allow me to explain what I mean: People in this society are very judgemental. Over everything. Over who likes who, over which of a couple is better than the other, all these things. Growing up, I was always a prize to be won. It was like I was so beautiful that I had nothing else to me, which I didn't mind, at first. But as I got older, all the girls around me started competing for me. It was in the eleventh grade that I realized I wasn't normal. Lemme elborate more:
In the eleventh grade there was a girl with the name of Elsa. We were both the most popular power couple in school. I was the hockey-jock, she was the glamour queen. We dated for a while, and one night after our school's homecoming dance, we went to a party and for the first time we made out. It felt like nothing though. It was just something I did to be fully honest, relationships never really meant anything to me, I thought everyone did this kinda thing just because. But when she wanted to take things further, I shut it down. She asked me why not, and I said I wasn't ready. She started asking if she wasn't pretty enough, if she messed up or something. I explained to her that this was more than that, and it was personal stuff. Very personal. She did nothing but accept that, and it wasn't in a way that was like 'lol k whatever omg' kinda way, it was more heart felt and accepting. I felt bad but she convinced me that it was fine. She kissed me and told me she'd see me tomorrow. Well, that we did, and when we did, we seemed to be getting more and more distant, so one day, to re-kindle the romance, I took her out to Tiana's place, and we ate. We still seemed distant. We were quiet, boring and it was kinda awkward. She excused herself and went to the bathroom. When she left I noticed that she had left her bag. I started thinking that maybe she was cheating on me, maybe there was someone else that I didn't know about. And it was then I did the unthinkable.
I reached into her purse, pulled out her phone and started doing some searching. I searched and there was nobody else, and I felt like a total idiot, and a major dufus for thinking she'd pull something like that. I then went to put it back, and right before I dropped it in her bag it buzzed and I noticed that she got a text from some guy with the name of Flynn, asking to see her. That's odd, I thought. I open the message and realize this is the first time he texted her in eight months. Curious as to what he looked like, I opened the contact, pressed the contact photo with my thumb and I was mesmerized by what I saw.
This man was beautiful. He had beautiful chestnut brown hair that was longer in the front and parted in the centre. His nose looked Greek and his lips were small but plump and rosy. His cheekbones and his jawline were so sharp that it almost sliced my eyes to look at him. His dark brown eyes were daring me to get lost in that beautiful abyss. And his skin was filled with the color of beauty, love and life.
It was then when I understood why I wasn't into any of the other girls I liked, because they weren't him.
Or rather, they weren't hes.
My mind started flooding with all these thoughts, how was I gonna tell Elsa, how was I gonna tell anybody, what was I gonna do now?
I put the phone back right before Elsa showed up and I was suddenly doing everything I could to make her happy. I convinced myself that no, I wasn't into guys and that I was into girls. I'd kiss her randomly-mostly in front of everybody else- to prove to other people that nothing was wrong with me. I couldn't be g-
No. There's no way I could show anybody this, this was going to be a little secret that would stay between me, myself and I.
Or at least, that's what I thought.
So I sat on my roof top by the balcony our house had, and looked up at the moon, with it's huge size and bright light, and the cold air piercing my skin, bare feet and lungs, I almost felt at peace. I looked at the moon, wondering why I was like this. This was just a faze, right? As the snowflakes fell through the winter air and one landed on my toe, I closed my eyes. This shouldn't be how love is. Being afraid to love someone is worse than not loving anybody. As I lowered myself down to the balcony below, with my feet I scrunched the snow that had already fallen-it was up to around seven centimeters now- and I took in the sensation of cold. It was beautiful, but that temporary feeling of peace left me as I saw my phone buzz through the window I crawled out through. It was Elsa, and I wasn't up to calling her or anything at all. I just wanted to sit and hope that one day, this confusing feeling would go away and that I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. I crawled through the window back into my room, anticipating what she could have possibly wanted, but something I anticipated even more was going to bed and seeing what the next day would bring me.
So who am I? My name Is Jack Frost. And at this point, only the moon knows who I truly am.