Disclaimer: CSI: NY isn't mine.
Spoilers: Seasons 2 & 3
His Love's Worth
He remembered sitting impatiently. Every so often, he would risk a glance up in hopes to see her moving towards him, elation filling up his senses as he holds his breath preparing to be blinded by her bright smile. Seconds have ticked into minutes and the minutes have finally struck an hour, and still there was no smile blinding him from the door. Wincing from the painful memory, he sat back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk - a sad attempt to ease the rebellious anxiety within him. He was impatient. Very impatient. This is why he could never sit down in interrogations, he had to walk around the room to squash down any signs of anxiety or anger. He was used to getting everything. Especially with women. All he had to do was flash his captivating blue eyes in their direction for a split second and they would all come scrambling towards him, stumbling, and breaking a few perfectly manicured nails along the way. But she was different. She was everything women in his past were not and so much more. He could still taste the bitterness of the agonizing torture she had put him through all those months. He chided himself for recalling insignificant moments from his past as he recalled how the following months after her return from Montana had picked up for the both of them. Though she had put him through hell in an emotionally exhausting and agonizingly long ride, he didn't mind.
She's worth the wait.
He thought back at the way he splurged his money just to get to her. Show her how much she means to him. Sure it's the thought that counts, but he loves to spoil his Montana. His thoughts of boarding the plane to Montana took the front seat in his mind. He laughed at the thought. Who knew after 34 years of living in New York, it would be an impulsive decision that drove him out of the city, let alone into the sights and sounds of the country. Even before that, his life as a bachelor was great. Not having to worry about paying for someone else's lunch because the relationships he had with women didn't even last before breakfast starts. Sure he'd pay for their drinks just to get them to come to his apartment and show each other a good time, but that was it. All he had to worry about way back before Lindsay was the maintenance of his Harley. But now, his transactions sometimes takes a couple of pages with purchases of silly and simple things which reminded him of her. He remembered buying her a silly Smiley face alarm clock from the dollar store on his way to her apartment. He slightly winced at the memory of Lindsay's tiny hands making contact with his shoulder as he joked about how the silly smile on the clock reminded him of her own captivating one. He mentally applauded himself as he remembered how a $100 purchase of a bouquet of flowers had earned him a heart-melting smile from her. Though his credit card bill had almost doubled ever since she'd come into his life, paying for their lunches, their dinners and their bed and breakfasts, even a round trip ticket for Montana, he didn't mind.
She's worth the money.
Danny planted his feet back on the floor and swivelled his chair around thinking about the times he had spent with Lindsay. Truth be told, he spends literally most of his free time with her. Before Lindsay, all his free time went to playing pool, pubs and bars, drinks, and his comfortable bed - mostly with company, girls whom he meets randomly in bars or those who hit on him in the streets on his way home. As he sat alone in his office, thinking, he realized, he couldn't find anything better to do with his time than spend it with Lindsay. Whether she was upset, angry, happy or even PMSing. It was definitely worthwhile. He couldn't imagine spending one day completely withdrawing Lindsay from his thoughts or from his daily routine. It was conclusive, he couldn't imagine his life without her. Some of his drinking buddies had started worrying about him because he wasn't the type of person who commits to someone. He laughed at the thought of what his friend Mike had said on one of his drunken stupors, "You can never commit, Messer. I'm tellin' ya, I've had longer relationships with bottles of beer in my fridge". Now that he has experienced it, had a taste of what a caring, passionate and loving relationship was like he didn't mind spending almost all his time with her, bachelor life be damned.
She's worth the time.
"I don't cuddle". He could still remember his very own words ringing in his ears and couldn't help a grin forming on his face at how false his words now sounded in his head and his heart. It doesn't help matters when Stella and Flack tease him about his cuddling habits with Lindsay. He couldn't help it. Sometimes, when both of them work late hours and double shifts, they would sit together on one of those comfortable lounge chairs catching a wink during their breaks. As a joke, Flack had taken a picture of them and posted it in the bulletin board. He was furious at first, but then he realized this wasn't as bad as he was making it to be. Now the whole lab would know that Lindsay was his and no one else's. If only he could blow up that picture and put it on advertisement boards in Times Square, then he wouldn't have to waste time telling guys off, especially the persistent ones. He grinned at the thought. Sure he didn't cuddle, but it's different now. Despite unrelenting teasing and jokes, he didn't mind letting the world know that he finally learned how to cuddle and found someone to do it with.
She's worth the cuddle.
He folded his arms on his desk and cradled his head in it. Thoughts of Lindsay's accident filled his brain and the unshakeable feeling of pain and dread coursed through his nerves. Her accident from a few months back had shaken his world. Lindsay was on her way to the scene when a driver who was charged with DUI had rammed the company issued SUV she was driving head on. She had suffered major injuries none of which was fatal. However, his long agonizing wait sitting in the waiting room had him thinking the worst possible scenarios. Except for death. He couldn't imagine Lindsay leaving him for good. He couldn't even finish the thought once it had crossed his mind. He had cried in Stella's shoulders for a good hour at least while they waited for the news on Lindsay's condition. He wasn't ashamed of the tears he had shed for her. He wanted everyone to know he grieved for her. He did learn one thing from her accident. It was that he could lose her, at any time, especially when he least expects it. The mere thought of losing her forms tears in the back of his eyes; however, it was silly to cry so long after the accident had happened. Lindsay was fine now, better than fine. He didn't care if everyone in the lab knew he had cried while Lindsay was in the hospital. He doesn't mind that everyone knew his only downfall was Lindsay.
She's worth the tears.
He looked up to see Lindsay walking towards the office they shared with a bright smile plastered on her face. He returned the grin his thoughts filling with reasons why he loves this woman. There were alot of reasons why. More reasons than the number of the stars in the sky, the distance of Neptune to the sun, more than the number of reasons both his heart and mind could account for combined. He loves her so much it hurts him. It immobilizes him for a full second when he walks to work in the mornings as thoughts of her floods his mind. It rewards him with teasing from his closest buddies, and Flack. It rewards him with more tears than he had ever shed all his life. But most of all, it rewards him with a warm and pleasurable feeling coursing through his body everytime he laid eyes on her. He couldn't care less that his whole life had changed ever since Lindsay Monroe walked into his life that day holding the tiger's head in her hands. Everything that they had both been through doesn't stand a reason why they shouldn't be together. He had now voluntarily and willingly placed his heart in her hands. He didn't mind that his former outlook in love was proved wrong then shoved down his throat because being with Lindsay was something which only happened once in a lifetime and he wasn't prepared to let her go. He doubts he ever will.
She is everything his love's worth, and more. More than he could ever imagine. It scares the living daylights out of him.
But she's worth it. Worth every risk.