Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did either Sasuke wouldn't be that much of an asshole or he wouldn't have gotten away with his bullshit as easily as he did so there is that! Also this disclaimer is aplicable to all the next chapters in this story. I really don't like to repead myself.

.

Summary: Reincarnation. Wow. That is real, it seems. Sorry, I'm still a bit in disbelief. I've just recently remembered my whole life before this one. It doesn't help that my eyes are burning for some reason. Now... why the fuck did I get reborn in a world of ninjas that passed of as fiction in my old world? Am I some sort of fucking Mary Sue!?

.

Author's Notes: So, I've read a lot of reincarnation fanfics as a way to integrate Self Inserts and decided I wanted in on that train, partly because it would be fun, partly because some of the reactions I read were so out of whack for what a normal person would actually do that I just had to try my own version, maybe you'll also think it's out of whack or maybe you'll like it. My style of writing here is a bit more chaotic compared to other fics, but I like it.

I also take this moment to warn you it'll be some time before Naruto characters start appearing since I want to establish Katsumi's character first. Please be patient. Having said that: enjoy! ^w^

.

I Am... So Confused Right Now!

by Rajani-the-Freak

.

Prologue: Explaining The Confusion

.

Reincarnation.

What can I say about that?

Ok, first off, there's no fucking rhyme or reason for why it would happen to me. Or at least no rhyme or reason why I of all people should be the one to remember a previous life.

There's nothing special about me in life. I was just some bitch with average luck leaning a bit towards terrible with a dreadfully boring life, that never really accomplished much and a severe case of depression that had a most average death.

What was my past life like, you may ask? Well... It's not really important to the story aside from the fact that I have knowledge I shouldn't have and the smarts of a 26 year old female, but I Guess I owe you at least a personal review with some detail? Not too much, though. Like I said. My past life is boring and completely inconsequential to the story. Not to mention that I like my privacy.

So, in short, my family was never a 'happy' one. Parents didn't get along so, when I was 3, they divorced. Me and my mother and older sister moved to a different place and I couldn't freely come outside like before and, since everyone was so busy, as soon I was old enough I was relegated to staying home alone with my toys, let's just say that being cooped up all day with no socialization what so ever didn't exactly do wonders for my socialization skills. That and the fact that while my mother struggled to get me to behave well, my father, every time I stayed at him, did everything in his power to ruin that just so that I got on my mother's nerves. It's funny how some people don't hesitate on using their own children as tools for revenge, like they don't have feelings or aren't in anyway psychologically affected by this.

That being said, is it really any wonder that I became as messed up as I did? It certainly made me a bossy little motherfucker. And perhaps with time I could have corrected that and become a well-adjusted human being... but then the bullying began. When people say children are evil, they may have some truth in that.

I wouldn't call them 'evil', per say. Most of the time they just don't know better. In their eyes, their screwed up brains think they are just having fun. So, no. They aren't 'evil'.

...But they are definitely downright cruel.

They never went as far a physical bullying. That I could have dealt with easily. No. It was the verbal bullying, the humiliating and public shaming. Physically I was strong, and even if I wasn't strong enough then, I would have eventually grown to be strong enough after a few beatings. The problem was my lack of socialization. It left me unprepared to retort sensibly to the little shits. It wasn't until much, much later, way after I left that toxic environment, that I started being able to do it.

So yeah, if I wasn't already mentally fucked up enough from the manipulation by my father, the bullying definitely nailed the coffin. To put it simply, I was the sort of person that never went out of my way to socialize with anyone -though I craved deep, meaningful friendships-, was both distrustful and yet trusting of others is odd ways, severely defensive and protective of the few friendships I formed, even if they weren't the best of friends to have and, if you dared betray that trust and friendship, I would reserve biggest, deepest hatred for you for all time. I was -probably still am, even in this new reality- pretty unforgiving of betrayal. Even then I forgave a lot before the final line was crossed.

I never really had illusions about the world around me, unlike my mother liked to think.

I guess this is enough of an introduction of my mental state, I guess. Long story short I'm not quite sane. I'm also not insane either, but each day I got closer to it.

Of course, someone looking from the outside wouldn't guess this. In fact, I'm quite unassuming-looking. I seem to be the sort of serious, lily-white innocent and introverted girl at best, and a bookworm at worst. Those who try to talk to me but don't get to go deeper would tell you how deceiving my looks are and that I'm actually quite crass, kinky and pervy that says what she thinks, all hell be damned.

That is just another mask, and one I can't quite remove even in front of my family.

Those who do know me on a deeper level know I care too much and can be selfless to the point of selfishness, whatever that means. They know I'm stubborn and defensive, feeling the need to excuse my actions at every turn and uncapable of admitting I'm wrong.

All of those above, though not a complete picture of me, still have plenty of truthful parts.

As for who I really am… I think I'll let you decide for yourself. I'm pretty sure my core is still the same, even in this new life.

That being said, none of this really justifies me being reborn.

I suffered harshness, but it could have been much worse. Though my family wasn't the best, I knew most of them cared about me. I was betrayed emotionally by people I called friends, but I also kept other at bay. I loved and I hated. I was forgiving and yet vengeful.

All in all: I was human.

So why would I, of all people, be reborn? Or at least be the only one remembering my memories of a previous life? I have no fucking clue!

How did I die? Stupidly enough, it was from a tooth infection. You see, I hated the minty taste of the toothpaste. Like, really hated. So, I avoided brushing my teeth like the plague. You see where this is going right? It's not that they were all rotten and stuff. I did clean them without the toothpaste, but I guess it just wasn't the same. And, oddly enough, the cavity that got infected wasn't really visible from the outside. The hole was right in between two teeth.

So yeah. I died from a rotten tooth. What a great death! May the sarcasm be with you!

Now you probably expect me to go into the details of after death and the sensations of being born of some shit like that, right?

Wrong!

There's a reason you don't remember any of that shit from one life alone aside from brief foggy glimpses, like the pink plastic mini tub your parents used to bathe you with or some random game you played using bottle caps, or that time your parents had a big fight in the living room while you were watching some cartoon when you were two.

That's because your brain isn't supposed to work in such a high cognitive level yet. If I had to compare being a baby again, I would say it's like having reverse Alzheimer's. You know how, with time, you begin forgetting more and more things, but you still have a few moments or clarity in between until it all ends? Yes, like that.

You see, the memories were always there, stored. My brain simply didn't have the capability of recalling them yet. Worst of all? I couldn't even recall that I had forgotten them. As someone who never wants to forget myself and am proud on being me, no matter how broken I am, forgetting all my experiences, all that makes me me, is downright terrifying.

So I just had to try harder to remember… well… myself. Even if I didn't even remember I forgot. That was why I think I developed faster than some of the other babies around me. I must have, on some unconscious level, been fighting myself into remembering.

I finally won that battle at almost three years old and had, in that time, learned a whole new language and culture without even realizing. It must have been funny to an extent to see a cussing toddler. I did seem to have a knack for memorizing swearwords, it seems. Drove my caretakers nuts.

What happened when I finally managed to recall my whole memories without any more setbacks?

Well… I leave that for next time.

.

And cut! Prologue is done! Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to comment! ^w^