A/N: Hello! Haven't posted anything for AGEEEEES, so here we go! Hope you all like it, please don't forget to drop us a review and let me know if you liked it (or utterly hated it, the choice is yours!) as always, I own nothing so Yano. :) - Neve x
-Lyrics from another stranger,twin wild.
/I will tell you for the first time,
I will tell you what I've always wanted to.
I will try, so we never go back.
We've pretended for the last time,
and I swear I'll be the only one for you.
I will try, so we never go back./
I walk onto Darwin. People turn, in vacant recognition, and Elliot turns around from a patient as if he senses my presence without really knowing I'm there. Shivering slightly due to the lack of coat, and the fact I'd been sat outside for over an hour before coming in, Elliot pulled me into a careful hug.
"Connie, it's lovely to see you. I'm so sorry it's not in better circumstances." He murmurs, and tears threaten to fall from my exhausted eyes despite that being the one thing I told myself, promised myself, I wouldn't do.
"Why did she do it? Why Elliot? Why?" I ask, the words coming from my mouth in one steady stream. It reminds me of when Grace was small, always asking why, but I wasn't always able to give her the answers.
"It was all too much, we forget the past she had, and the last couple of years with Emma, Jonny, it can't have been easy..." Elliot trails off, before guiding me into the office he used to share with me.
After closing the door, he turns me around and helps me sit down. I sit in her soft leather chair, at her desk which was once mine. I know the cold must have affected me, but my doctory spider senses have left me temporarily, and I don't realise I'm probably slightly hypothermic.
"Can I go and see her?" I ask in a small voice. I want to see her, comfort her and hold her and tell her it will all be okay, and just protect her from the world.
"You can, yes. When she came round she was very specific with who was allowed to see her, and Serena and I are on that list, you and Henrik too. He found out on the Internet, and he's flying over to come and see her tonight. He's expected to arrive in the UK at 8:00pm." Elliot smiled slightly, and I reached out and held his hand, nervous about what I would see when I reached the HDU.
We walked like this to the room she was in, on AAU. She had bypassed the ED, because of Serena, who had insisted she be taken up to AAU, and nobody wanted to argue.
Elliot opened the door to her room, and I gasped when I saw her. Her face had a greyish tinge, with various cuts on her eyebrow and side of her face. There was bruising, and her head was tender, but she was conscious. Moving over I sat on the chair next to Elliot, and she reached out, grasping my hand.
"You came." She croaked, and I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
"Why didn't you come to me, Jac? I would have done anything, everything you needed." I whisper, a sad smile gracing my face.
"I didn't want to. I didn't want anything, I just wanted it over." She replies sadly, and the warm hand I was holding squeezed my own tighter. Elliot stands up and leaves, kissing Jac on the forehand and talking quietly about giving us some time.
A few moments passed in silence, before a nurse came in, carrying some dressings and sterile swabs. Carefully pulling up the ginger's gown, the nurse began, before her pager bleeped and she looked at it uncertainty. "Sorry, it's a male patient requesting a female nurse because he's worried...that the male nurse is gay..." The nurse sighed, and connie nodded in understanding as Jac smirked slightly. "I can carry on here if you like nurse, I'm a doctor." Connie offered, allowing the nurse to go.
"Right Jac, my hands may be a little cold." Connie warned, before pealing the packaging off of a sterile swab. Pulling of the old bandage gently, she wiped away the remainder of the dried blood before replacing it with a clean white dressing. Jac squirmed slightly, but made no comment on the scars. There were other injuries from when she passed out, particularly on her head. There would be obvious bruising, and there were a few grazes and one deeper gash near her left eyebrow. She had been stood against the door, catching her head hard against the toilet and the floor as she fell as the blood loss began to effect her.
When Connie was done she collected up the packaging and placed it into the yellow "clinical waste" bin in the corner of the room, before washing her hands in scalding water at the sink.
Sitting back down, she smiled at the tired ginger, who was fighting to keep her eyes open. Jac reached for Connie's hand, before murmuring quietly to her. "I won't try again Connie, I promise. I never wanted to in the first place but I thought I had no choice."
Connie sighed, regretting not being there for her when she had so obviously needed it the most.
"I'm here now, darling, I won't let you get hurt again."
Watching Jac, Connie watched her as she fell asleep. Her breathing was light, and she closed her eyes, falling into a gentle silence almost instantly.