Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction EVER, so please bear with me. This is only a parody, nothing serious...please read and tell me waht you think...
Opening scene Ozians are all out partying like its 1999, celebrating the death of the Wicked Witch of the West. In reality they would have had a party anyway, they just always need a really good excuse to have one. Had the witch not died they would have partied because some Ozian had finally opened their pickle jar. Some have partied so hard they've been sent to the Emergency Room at the Emerald City Hospital. Galinda, the "GA" is silent, and her giant bubble are floating down to the festivities.
Ozian: Hark! What's that in the sky?
Another Ozian: It's a bird!
Munchkin Boy: No, it's a plane!
Glinda: No you dumbasses! It's Me in a giant BUBBLE! Can't you tell? Freakin'a Elphaba was right, Animals ARE smarter than you (Ozians and Munchkins look dumbfounded at Glinda's outburst) I mean (adds a little Sweet and Low to her voice) no fellow Ozians, tis I, Glinda the Good.
Ozian's and Muchkins: Ohhhhh!
Glinda: I just came by to tell you that-
Some other Ozian: That Leo finally opened his pickle jar! 'cuz we knew that already.
Glinda: Um no, although that's great news (adds more Sweet and Low to her voice) But no, I came to tell you to 'rejoycify' now that 'You Know Who' is dead.
Harry Potter: You mean Voldemort's finally dead and I didn't have to do a thing? Finally, I can take that vacation to Majorca with Ro-I mean with Ginny…
Glinda: (Now even more pissed off) NO! Not that You Know Who! The OTHER You know who! (Realizes it's Harry Potter) What are you doing here? Wrong Universe. Didn't you get the memo? You live in the Book section; we're still stuck in the Miscellaneous Land! Guards take him away!
Harry Potter: No! But I like it here! There's no responsibilities, nobody hates me or wants to kill me! And there aren't voices in my head! Nooooooo! (Gets taken away to the Book section)
Glinda: Anyway, The Wicked Witch of the West is dead.
All Ozians: YAY! She's dead! Let's party some more!
Hobo Ozian: Wait, why are we glad she's dead again? I forgot.
Another Random Ozian: Yeah I forgot too… (tries to think) Oh who cares! The Wizard didn't like her so as faithful citizens we must hate her too!
Hobo Ozian: Sounds good to me!
Ozian: Wait, how dead are we talking here?
Munchkin Boy: Yeah is there a body?
Glinda: ( Now very irritated and realizes she's running out of Sweet and Low) No, remember water can melt her.
Ozian's and Munchkins still look confused, Glinda lowers her bubble
Glinda: (Speaking very slowly) If water melts her, it destroys her body. Therefore not leaving any evidence of her physical existence.
Ozian's and Munchkins: Ohhhhhh!
Glinda: Now if you'll excuse me I have some crying and mourning to do-I mean I have to pack my things so I can move into the Wizards palace what with his sudden departure…
Some Other Ozian: Wait, is it true that you-
Glinda: (Bursts into tears) Yes it's true alright! I was her friend! I was the Wicked Witch's friend! Is that some sort of crime? And if it was what are you gonna do to me? Pop my bubble? Go ahead and try. It's indestructible!
Ozians and Munchkins: GASP!
Glinda: That's not what you were gonna ask was it?
Some Other Ozian who is the Same Ozian: Um no. I was gonna ask if it was true that all your gowns were custom made.
Glinda: Oh. Yes, yes it's true. Umm please ignore my little outburst…as it spoils the story.
Ozian's and Munchkins: Whatever you say Glinda, we're you're humble servants. (They start bowing) We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
Glinda: I know you're not-I mean of course you are! Why don't you guys start the flashback music while I get some more Sweet and Low?
Ozian's and Munchkins: Yes Glinda The Goof-oops sorry typo-Glinda The Good.
Some Other Munchkin Dude: WAIT!
Glinda: (Extremely irritated) WHAT?!
Some Other Munchkin Dude: You forgot to ask us The Question!
Other Ozian's and Munchkins: Ohhh yeah The Question!
The Same Other Munchkin Dude: ( In a sing-song voice) Someone's not reading their script…
Glinda: (Rolls her eyes) Oh The Question…right how does it go again? Okay, I've got it...(adds last packed of Sweet and Low to her voice) Are people born wicked or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? After all she-Wait a minute nobody asked me why wickedness happends! Where's the Ozian that says that?
Hobo Ozian: Ooooo I know! He's in the emergency room. He had a bit too much to drink if you know what I mean….Right now they're probably pumping his stomach…
Glinda: Great. Any way, she had a father, she had a mother, a child hood but like any dysfunctional family they had their little secrets….
Hobo Ozian: What kind of secrets?
Glinda: Oh you'll see…
FLASHBACK ON STAGE
Frex: I'm off to some conference dear, I really don't want to go… Maybe I'll send someone else instead…
Melena: (Anxious for him to leave) Of Frexy, honey, dearest don't worry, it's only ONE night…you'll- I mean We'll survive…go and do whatever it is that you do.
Practically kicks him out of the house
Frex: Okay but know that you're here in my heart while I'm-
Melena: (Quickly) That's nice, get out. (Closes door)
Mysterious Lover walks out of closet
Mysterious Lover: I thought he would never leave.(Takes out elixir) Have another drink my dark eyed beauty, I've got one more night left here in town, So have another drink of green elixir and we'll have ourselves a little mixer….
END OF FLASHBACK
Glinda: And the rest is history. She was born green and therefore shunned by everyone. There are you happy?
Ozian's and Munchkins: yes!
Glinda: Good. Now get ready for the flashback while I go find some more Sweet and Low.
Author's Note: I apologize for the Harry Potter reference and the Superman refernce, I just couldn't help myself. I know WICKED is a serious musical, I don't mean to offend anyone. Hell, I don't even know if this is funny to anyone…But please review…tell me if it's okay or bad or anything at all…some constructive criticism basically…
Thank You ---Fae