This is my first fanfic so please bear with me, if it's a little bit weird or anything.

The fanfic is kind of patterned with my life. Well, the part where she's not yet in Narnia.

I was crying. This was the first day. It was the first day I cried because of this. I knew I shouldn't have attended that party, somehow, I just knew. Me too actually, I just didn't know why. I just realized if I did not attend that, I would be questioned the next day. Why do slow dances have to be part of that party? I stopped crying. I opened my laptop, checked my social networking sites and such, and took another look at his profile, for the last time, I promised myself. I wished I never liked you. It's been 19 months, Kristen, get over it. Why did I feel this way again? I never knew. I just tried not to care anymore, and I thought I succeeded it until tonight. I just drifted my eyes and fell asleep. But that didn't work. The tears started streaming down my face again.

Toot-too-toot-too!

God, I hate the sound of that alarm clock! If only school didn't start this early. I just stood up and looked myself at the mirror. Yes, my eyes were tired because of last night and I don't think I would last that long today. I still need to practice for our graduation. That means I still need to go to school. I've always hated school, but I think it's just the assignments and the useless chemistry stuff we need to know about. I never really thought that was helpful. So, I looked back at the mirror and went to the bathroom and did my usual routine before school, soon enough, I can just go down and eat breakfast until the bus comes.

"Bye mom!" I told my mom as I kissed her check.

"Bye, be careful in school, okay?" she once again told me for the nth time in my life.

"Yes mom, I won't get raped today," I laughed it off, remembering last night, and I got on the bus.

As I rode the 30 minute ride going to school, I thought of what I might do with my life. I don't know how crazy this really is, but I've always thought of committing suicide. It's just I really thought of how easy other people's lives can be without me. My parents won't have to handle me anymore. Yes, I will be gone, but they will later forget it anyway. My brothers won't have anyone to envy anymore because there would be no excuses about me having high grades and I can do this, but I'm not graduating with honors. My friends wouldn't have such a loser friend who just joined their group because she didn't have any friends left. Or maybe that's what they think. I have to worry no more about the things I get. I don't worry about Christan anymore or the fact that I wanted to be a songwriter, but it's technically going nowhere. So I gave up on everything and just moved on with my life.

"Seriously, I don't know where you are getting on this," my friend, Louise said.

"I don't know either. At least you have a boyfriend," I said.

"A boyfriend who is too harsh on me," she laughed.

We were talking about the fact that I liked Christan again, after 19 months. She doesn't know what happened before, but a lot did. They just didn't know how they happened or how the things went in place. They didn't know how many people hated me, and how they tried to avoid me.

I went home after school. I always went straight home instead of going to other people's houses. And if I did, my mom would get mad at me. She always does. I never knew why she was too tight on me. But what the heck, it would not be long until I can die.

As I did my homework, I turned on my iPod's speakers. I listened to the usual songs I did, not caring how loud the music was. I never really cared on how loud the music was. I clicked on the song, and started doing my Chemistry homework. I sang while doing my homework, as I always did. And eventually, I started dancing around my room, the way I ended up almost everyday. In the middle of one song, I thought I heard a lion roar. I memorized every note, every beat and every word of this song, and there is definitely no lion roar in the song. "Whatever," I murmured and I got back to my homework.

Is it that short? Is it that boring? I hope not. I'm trying to tell what the character's present life is here, so yeah. If it sucks or not, click that review button there and comment. :]