(Bobby, from my previous story, walks up on stage.)

Bobby: Yoooo!!!! Wassup, mah homies?! Bobby in da hizouse! Been a while, but we back! Here's da' 411 for all ya suckas dat be too lazy to read the previous story!

(Kaite, the boy from the Sandsteamer incident who is now a teenager, peeks from the corner)

Kaite: Um, I wouldn't recommend insulting future readers, Bobby! We don't want to alienate them!

Bobby: Right… Peace out… Anyway, it all started when Vash needed a job after busting a few caps into his brother, Knives! He rolled up to our school, then rocked out da' house! We was all aight wit him, except Kaite! He and Vash were all at each otha', then Mary Sue and Gary Stu came along, and all sorts of shit happened!

Now, Mary Sue was a fine, sexy thang, but she and her brother were all messed up in da head, yo! They did all sortsa messed up shit! Anyway, after all da chaos, Vash up and blasted Gary, and all was peaceful… Anyway, ya want da whole story?! Go and read "Great Teacher Ericks" in Kouji Tamino's author page! Now ahm out… Peace! (Bobby walks off stage.)

Note from Kouji: You can't really appreciate this story unless you read "Great Teacher Ericks". I really really recommend it. In fact, if you haven't read "GTE", stop reading this, and read "GTE" NOW.

Vash: (comes onto the stage) Um, thank you, Bobby… I think… Anyway, the author does not own Trigun… It is the creation of Yasuhiro Nightow, and is licensed by some other companies! He also does not own anything in this story except the non-Trigun characters of Mary Sue, Gary Stu, Sayuri, Mackenzie, Vish, and Bobby! And a few other characters that you don't remember! Also, the author means no harm with any jokes or stereotypes that may offend others. And now, the story! (runs off)

Kaite: Our tale begins one year after when we last left our hero…

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

Chapter 1: Elevator of Doom!

And so, a year passed on the planet Gunsmoke… It is a lazy, hotter than usual non-school day. Our hero, Vash, is currently passed out on the sofa, cuddling with a box of donuts. His one year old son, Vish, is playing with his father's hair. His adopted children, Gary and Mary, are off somewhere. Meryl is doing dishes in the kitchen, while Millie is eating pudding. Wolfwood is outside smoking. Knives is doing… what else, eating Trix. Anyway, this day seemed to be no different than the past 365 days. Suddenly, the door burst open. "Dad!!" Mary screamed. She was wearing her usual uniform, as I am too lazy to think of something new right now. All the other teenage characters will be wearing their school uniform unless said so. Anyway, her screaming awoke Vash with a start. He was wearing his old 'Ericks' clothes. His box of donuts went flying into the air.

A few seconds later, Sayuri, dragging poor Kaite along with her. "Damn, she still made it here first!!" She growled.

Mary grinned. "So, father, can you please--" she was then pushed down by Sayuri.

"--buy me the boots!!" Sayuri screamed.

Vash raised an eyebrow. "What boots?…"

Kaite frowned. "Sayuri, can I please go now?…"

"NOOO!!!" Sayuri screamed.

Suddenly, they all heard a scream from the kitchen. "MY TRIX!!!" Vash's box of donuts had opened in the air, and all of the dounts landed in Knive's Trix. Knives stomped out of the kitchen. "Vash!!! You got your donuts in my Trix!!"

Vash's eyes widened, then he frowned. "Well, you got your Trix on my donuts!!!" They both stared each other down. Everyone else sweat dropped.

Sayuri and Mary growled. "Vash/Dad, get me the Special K boots!"

"Huh?" Vash began. "Special K?… Isn't that a cereal?… And why is everyone bothering me for money?! I'm just a teacher!"

"…" Both Sayuri and Mary stared at each other, then Vash. "Good point…"

The two girls then thought for a moment. Sayuri sighed. "Well then, I guess that means I'll have to pawn off me and Kaite's bondage equipment…"

Kaite whimpered. "Nnnooo!!! Not the bondage set!!!"

Kaite and Sayuri got stares. Sayuri chuckled. "Um… Pretend you didn't hear that…"

Vash blinked. "Okay, um… There is erm… No need for that… I'll just use my stash!"

Knives raised an eyebrow. "… Stash?…"

Vash smiled. "Yep! My money stash! When I helped people, they sometimes gave me a reward of some kind… I usually could persuade them to decline their offer, but sometimes they insisted. So I decided to save up money to help someone, so I am going to buy both you girls those boots!"

Both girls growled. Kaite timidly waved his hand. "Um… Can I go home now, please?…"

Both Mary and Sayuri glared at Kaite with giant demon heads. "HELL NO!!"

"Eep! Okay…"

~~~

So, they went to the mall. They went to the mall one day. One time, I went to the mall. I go to the mall a lot… I always buy manga. I got the "Trigun, Volume 1" manga a month ago… I also-- oops! Sorry…

Anyway, they went to the mall. Mary and Sayuri continued to growl at each other, while Vash stood between them so they don't kill each other. Kaite trailed worriedly behind. They decided they would take an elevator to the Shoe Department. The only problem was… The elevator was located on the other side of the Perfume section.

Kaite and Vash's eyes widened. "The Perfume section?!" They shivered.

Kaite gulped. "Can I stay here?…"

Sayuri growled at Kaite. He cried. "No, we cannot! I will get those boots!"

"Since when did you become a fashion freak? What happened to the tomboy that I fell in love with?…"

"She grew up… Besides, I'm not getting them for looks… I'm getting them so I can kick Mary's ass…"

Kaite raised an eyebrow, then sighed. "Alright, Vash… Into the pits of Hell we go…"

Vash whimpered. "Hold me…"

The girls rolled their eyes. Mary spoke up. "Please… It's just perfume…"

~~~

"In the end…" Vash began. "I was the only man left… Kaite had fallen to the horror of the evil perfume…. Damn you, perfume!!! Damn you!!!"

After walking through the perfume section, they were bombarded by perfume sellers spraying them with samples. It didn't even phases Mary, Sayuri only flinched, and Vash had a bit of trouble breathing. But Kaite, sadly… didn't make it…

"Gyah!" Mary screamed. "You boys are such wimps!"

"Kaite…" Sayuri began. "Please get up… You're embarrassing me…" She sweat dropped at her boyfriends lying form.

He slowly opened his eyes. "Sayuri?…" he began. "Is that you?… I can barely see your beautiful face… Please… Just go on without me…"

Sayuri rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's leave him there…" They then left Kaite for dead and got onto the elevator.

~~~

So they got on the elevator. They stared at the buttons. There were over 100 buttons on it. "So, um…" Vash began. "What floor do we want?…"

Sayuri looked at the buttons. "Um… Let's see… The Shoe department was on… floor 5, I think…" She pushed the 'F5' button. The elevator went up.

Mary frowned. "No, I'm pretty sure it was the 4th floor…" She then pushed the 'F4' button. The elevator went down.

"No, 5..." Push. Up.

"No, 4..." Push. Down.

"5!" Push. Up.

"4!" Push. Down.

Vash sweat dropped. "Um, girls?…"

"5!" Push. Up.

"4!" Push. Down.

Vash sweat dropped. "Um, girls?…"

"5!" Push. Up.

"4!" Push. Down.

Vash sweat dropped. "Um, girls?…"

Suddenly, the elevator stopped completely. A mechanical voice was heard. "Device. Has. Over. Heated. Emergency. Stop. Activated."

Vash's eyes widened. "Oh… My… God… We're stuck on the elevator!!! We're all gonna die!!! And worst of all, I'm stuck here with two girls that hate each other!!!"

Mary glared at Sayuri. "This is all your fault!!"

Sayuri returned the glare. "My fault?! You started the button war!!"

"Grrr… Whatever… Just don't talk to me until the elevator is fixed…"

"No! I'll scream into your ears until they bleed!!"

"Don't you dare!"

"And what will you do to stop me, huh?!"

"… This…" Mary then grabbed Sayuri and kissed her on the lips. Sayuri struggled to get out, but Mary had her in a tight grip that she didn't prepare herself for. Mary then stopped the kiss. Sayuri was speechless. Mary smiled. "That sure shut you up, didn't it?…"

Vash just sat there and sucked his thumb, hoping the madness would eventually stop. He thought about lots of things, including how an entire city's memories could be erased, and what exactly is the Hokey Pokey all about?

Sayuri then punched Mary in the face.

Mary held her nose. "It… It's bleeding!… How dare you! You stained my perfect face with blood! You will pay, bitch!" Mary then pounced on Sayuri. They began to fight in a dust cloud. Vash continued to suck his thumb and ramble on. Finally, after a few minutes, the dust cloud dissipated. The girls stood up. They're clothes were mussed up, and they had bruises all over their bodies. They looked at each other. Mary laughed. "We look like we were battered by abusive husbands, don't we?…"

Sayuri giggled. "Yeah… Did I just giggle?…"

"Looks like Kaite was right… You are getting girly…"

"Hey, shut up!"

Mary smiled. "Hey… You aren't so bad… But you should start acting a bit more girly. You're a Junior in high school!"

"Well, you wouldn't be so bad if you weren't so creepy!"

"What do you mean, creepy?…"

"You always lick things, and you just kissed me, and--"

"Well, I like peoples reactions when I lick certain things, and… um… I don't know about that kiss…"

"Well that's good…" Sayuri laughed. "I do have a boyfriend, y'know…"

"Yeah… I know…" Mary said, turning around. She looked to the floor. "I… know…"

~~~

An hour passed, and Vash began to go insane. "How many days have we been in here?…"

Mary sighed. "We've only been in here for one hour…"

"One day?! It hasn't been fixed yet?! Help!!! Please!!!"

Sayuri bonked Vash on the head. "Please stop that… I have a headache…"

Vash stood up. "I will get us out of here!"

"How?…" Sayuri asked.

Vash sat back down. "The details are top secret!"

"Riiight… You don't know how to get out, do you?…"

Vash smiled and stood back up. "Don't know?! That is silly! The Great Teacher Ericks knows all and---" he then sat back down and burst out crying. "I don't know!! I don't know!!! Just leave me alone, Maman!!"

"… Why are you crying in French?…" Sayuri asked.

"… bEcAuSe YoU lOoK fUnNy!!!!111!!"

"O_O Oh my god, he's possessed!"

"… Father?…" Mary said, edging away. "You're scaring me…"

Vash stared at the two girls. "aAwWwW… aRe YoU sCaReD?! HEeHeEhEe!!!"

"… Ew…"

"hI, i'M vAsH!! I cLeAn ThE pLaCe WhIlE tHe MiStReSs Is aWaY!!!"

"… Mistress?…" Sayuri began. "Do I really want to know?…"

"No, you do not…" Mary explained. "It involves chocolate, whipped cream, whips, leather, and my parents…"

"I think I've already heard enough…"

"bElOvEd DaUgThEr, WoUld YoU sHaVe My MoNkEy?!"

"No!" Mary screamed. "But… Only one person called me 'Beloved Daughter', and--"

"Yes… It is I…"

"Papa?…"

Sayuri raised an eyebrow. "Wha?… You mean--"

"Yes…" Possessed Vash (PV) said. "I am the ghost of Legato Bluesummers, talking through this idiot…"

"How is that possible?!"

"Well you see, this elevator is a gateway between worlds… The only catch, however, is that ghosts can only come to this world through this gate by possessing the last person they spoke to in person while alive… Oh, and sorry about that weird dialogue, I drank some Kool-Aid… Oh, yeah!!" A spirit representative from Spirit Kool-Aid then walked into Legato's spirit house and gave him 500 spirit $$.

Mary raised an eyebrow. "But… Why are you here?…"

Legato explained. "I came to tell you that… I am sorry for what I became… Tell Gary I said that… And although Vash is an idiot, he is a good man… I know that he will raise you well… But now I depart…"

Mary whimpered. "No! Papa…"

"I am sorry… But my connection to this world runs on 56k… *ding-dong* That, and my Spirit Pizza is here… Goodbye, beloved daughter! I love both you and Gary!" Then suddenly, Vash's no longer possessed body fell asleep.

"Papa…" Mary whispered, a lone tear running down her face. Sayuri put a hand on Mary's shoulder. Mary looked to Sayuri. "Oh, Sayuri…"

Sayuri nodded. "It's okay…" The two girls hugged.

Suddenly, the elevator went down to the first floor. The door opened and Kaite hopped in. He was followed by two employees. "Hey! I got these guys to fix the ele--" He and the employees stared at the hugging girls and the unconscious Vash. "Um… Did I miss something?…"

~~~

Finally, the group walked out of the mall, carrying all sorts of goodies. Kaite smiled. "Geez, we sure lucked out thanks to Augusta Mall!"

Vash smiled back. "Yep! It sure was nice of the Augusta Mall to give us all this free 'Augusta Mall' stuff for saying 'Augusta Mall' so much!"

Mary and Sayuri smiled back. "Augusta Mall is awesome!"

And with that, they all hopped into the van and drove off into the sunset. The girls, now friends, completely forgot about the boots. Which is kind of stupid, considering the whole reason they got into this mess was because they wanted those damn boots so bad, and then all this other creepy crap with Legato happened, and Kaite almost died due to the evil perfume and then Vash went completely insane! And what the hell is up with Knives and Trix?! I mean, sure they're good and all, but-- O_O Er, sorry…

To Be Continued…

~~~

And another chapter of another story is complete. Those of my older readers that are used to me updating almost everyday, sorry to disappoint, but I'm now juggling between two stories. So with that, I bid you adieu for now!