"You know I love you, right?"
Maggie sighed, not bothering to answer. All the things she had wanted to say when she told Luan to meet her had died in her head or gotten stuck in her throat, choking her.
"Come on, Spooky, I'm okay. Everything is okay!"
Maggie looked away from her girlfriend, her gaze sweeping over the hundreds of tombstones which she could see from her vantage point on the hill.
"I know you didn't just call me here to sulk, Mags…" Luan went to put her hand over the younger girl's own.
Maggie only let herself enjoy the contact for a moment, however, before she pulled her hand away as if it had been burned.
Now she turned back to Luan, fire in her eyes. The comedian had the decency to shrink back, to actually look guilty.
"You…" Maggie's breath hitched, the anger and sadness she was trying not to let out pushing to be free.
"I know! I messed up! I'm sorry!"
Maggie pressed her palm to her temple, rage showed on her face but her voice was frighteningly calm, as usual, "You," She made air quotes, "'messed up?'"
Her voice started to give way to emotion, "Is that all you have to say!? As if you just got a question on a test wrong, or spilled a glass of water!?"
"Maggie don't-" Luan knew what was coming, but her attempts to stop it proved futile.
"As if you didn't try to kill yourself!"
There it was, out in the open, hanging in the tension filled air. What both had been refusing to say in the day before they were able to meet alone.
"I- I didn't-"
"You promised, Luan." The hurt in her voice served as another stab of guilt, but not regret, to Luan's heart.
"That wasn't what I was trying to do, Maggie… I just wanted to sleep and feel better for a little bit."
"Oh, and if you just happened to die, it wouldn't be unwelcome, right? Just a happy little accident?"
Luan opened her mouth, preparing to speak, but closed it moments later without a word. Instead she chose to move closer to her girlfriend.
Her movement, however, was impeded by a forceful push to her chest which knocked her back.
She looked up at Maggie.
"Luan…" The regret was obvious, and yet…
"Don't act like you wouldn't do the same thing!" Luan all but yelled.
Maggie was taken aback, "Wh- What?"
"Don't act like you wouldn't just up and die at the drop of a hat! Like you wouldn't leave me without so much as a proper goodbye! You probably wouldn't even say anything, or give me, give anyone a chance to help you!"
"Don't try to turn this on me, Luan! You're the reason we're here talking about this!"
"And how do you think I'd feel if I sat on this hill and saw your grave, huh? What do you think I would do then?"
"I should be the one asking that question to you!"
"I've lived through worse then what I did the other night, I knew I'd be fine!"
Maggie gripped fistfuls of her hair and let out a frustrated groan, "Why do I bother with you! Your skull is thicker than Mr. Coconuts'!"
"You aren't any better!"
To two girls locked eyes but looked away quickly, and though the tension was still there they each seemed to calm down.
"I don't want to lose you, Luan. Whenever you do something stupid like that there's always a risk, and you know it. Maybe the whole world is dark and awful with or without you... But mine isn't."
"I'm sorry Spooks. I really am." Luan rose to her feet and approached Maggie cautiously. When she saw no sign of opposition she sat and wrapped an arm around Maggie to pull her close, "I'll be here to annoy you for a long time okay? But I need you to stay with me too."
"To the grave and beyond, Luan."
Each of them silently hoped that was a long way off.
At least for the other.
Actually was inspired to write this by one of kingoffreak's oneshots and something that happened the other week. It's not too long but then again it wasn't meant to be, I decided to leave what Luan did up to the reader's imagination even though i know for sure what it was meant to be.
That being said thanks for reading.