Bildungsromance II : Consequences
Chapter summary: Kurt and Sebastian set the first rules of their relationship.
Rating: T for minor suggestive adult themes
1.
"Mmm?" Kurt mumbled, raising his head and blinking at the world. It took him a moment to realize where he was. There was a boy looking down on him with an amused smile on his lips and a Kurt-shaped dent in the pillow on his lap. Kurt quickly wiped at the corners of his mouth and gave Sebastian a guilty smile. "Sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night."
He couldn't believe he had actually fallen asleep. After breakfast, they had put on some music to fill the silence between them; somehow Kurt's offer to be more than friends had put the both of them a little at a loss for neutral topics, which started to show uncomfortably after all the croissants were eaten. It was like a switch had been turned on and their minds were trying to catch up. Both intuitively felt it would be weird to skip straight to the kind of nonverbal conversation they had started that night after InFlagrante, but it also felt strange to just hang out as the friends they had become.
The music helped- soon enough Kurt was telling Sebastian about the times New Directions had covered this or that song (they had really done a lot over the years) or how another song was forever connected to his favorite blue sweater because it had been playing in the store as he bought it. Sebastian even added some anecdotes of his own, though Kurt noticed his memories were either from Dalton or his very early childhood, leaving the years in between out. But at least they were talking again, forgetting to be awkward around each other. He must have dozed off after making himself comfortable on the bed while they compared favorite songs.
"What time is it? I can't believe I'm actually hungry again," Kurt said. "I had three croissants."
Sebastian checked the clock on the laptop. "It's five pm," he replied, smiling. "I'm rather hungry myself. If you had slept even longer I might have started nibbling on you."
Kurt blushed. Then he realized what that meant. "Five pm? How long was I asleep? Why didn't you wake me?"
Sebastian shrugged. "Long enough to force me to listen through the entire Sound of Music soundtrack," he commented, nodding at Kurt's iPod. "I couldn't reach it with you asleep on top of me. I was this close to spontaneous self-combustion." He held his fingers close together and showed Kurt. He hadn't answered the second question yet.
"I like The Sound of Music," Kurt mumbled defensively, "and if you hated it so much, you should have woken me up. You can't just let me sleep and then complain I ruined your day off."
"I didn't say that. I only said your taste in music is terrible."
"No it isn't. Just my taste in men," Kurt bit back.
"Agreed," Sebastian replied, nonplussed. Then he reached out and traced Kurt's jawline with a finger. Kurt was about to pull back when he remembered Sebastian was allowed to do that now. He held still instead. "I actually kind of liked watching you," the other boy said. Kurt raised his eyebrows.
"For hours? Creepy much?"
"You like it when Edward Cullen does it to Bella. At least I didn't sneak into your house." Sebastian shrugged.
"That's different. He's watching out for her. Protecting her."
"And I wasn't?"
"From what, dustbunnies and dirty laundry?" Kurt rolled his eyes and nodded at Sebastian's messy room.
"Bad dreams, maybe."
Sebastian's reply caught him off guard. Flashes of Kurt's dream came back to him. He had actually had a good dream. He had been back at home in Lima, lying on his mother's bed watching her while she was doing her make-up by the dresser. She saw him in the mirror and came over, sitting down next to him. As he slowly fell asleep, she carded her fingers through his hair, singing softly and smelling of love and a safe haven. Kurt blinked. The singing part was obvious- with the Sound of Music playing in the background and his longing for a mother-figure in his life like Maria, it wasn't hard to see why he would dream that. But her touch had felt so real... His hands flew up to his hair and felt several strands that had come undone and lay flat against his forehead. He narrowed his eyes at Sebastian. Boyfriend or not, no one touched his hair uninvitedly. No one.
"You should have woken me up. It's your day off. You didn't have to spend all afternoon with me sleeping on your bed."
The corners of Sebastian's mouth curled up. "I kinda hoped being your boyfriend would involve spending a lot of my free time with you on my bed."
Kurt could feel his cheeks redden. Sebastian had always flirted with him (sometimes it seemed as natural to him as breathing) but now the rules of the game had changed and his words were no longer meant to tease him with something he would never have... they were an invitation. Kurt sat up and tried to gather his cool. He had dropped the ball too long to counter with a coy 'oh really?' so he did the next best thing he could think of: he kissed Sebastian on the lips.
Sebastian returned the kiss with enthusiasm. He had had a lot of time to think about Kurt's offer while the other boy slept, and had come to the conclusion that he really wanted this. He had been drawn to Kurt's physique since he first saw him at the Lima Bean and the memory of holding Kurt in his arms under the shower still haunted him on nights when sleep wouldn't come until he did. But apart from that, he actually enjoyed spending time with Kurt. Their talks had something honest about them. He never needed to brag and embellish his stories for Kurt; in fact, when he did, he was usually slammed down with an ice-cold remark about his credibility. Kurt was the only one who knew about his expulsion from the French prestige school and, much to his credit, Kurt had never used that information against him or even alluded to it jokingly. In turn, Sebastian had the feeling not many people knew what was going on behind all of Kurt's walls and defenses, and it made him feel privileged that Kurt had chosen him to share his feelings with. Information was power, and they were at a voluntary stalemate.
His body was starting to show a lively interest in what was going on between them and Sebastian shifted his weight on the mattress, cupping one hand behind Kurt's head and pushing him down on his back without breaking their kiss. Kurt was pliant and lean in the right places and their bodies slotted together like puzzle pieces. Kurt moaned and shifted underneath him, and Sebastian deepened their kiss. As Kurt moved again, Sebastian released his lips to breathe but kept his body pressed close to him.
"God, Kurt, you're so-" he started breathlessly, and then saw the look on the other boy's face. He was wide-eyed and pale. Sebastian noticed he had gone rigid beneath him. "What- why are you...? Are you okay?" Sebastian stammered. What was going on? Hadn't Kurt been kissing him back just now? Didn't he want this? "Is this too much? Or too soon?" he asked, feeling confused.
"No," Kurt said quietly, taking shallow breaths and looking up at Sebastian. "Just... claustrophobic." He shifted again, and it became clear that he wasn't looking for friction. He was trying to get away.
Sebastian blinked, trying to understand. Then he remembered what Kurt had told him about the boy at school who had harassed him. Realization hit him like a brick wall. He had Kurt pinned. "Shit," Sebastian muttered, and quickly untangled their legs, rolling off of him. Kurt visibly relaxed and took a steadying breath. "Kurt, I'm so sorry," he started. "I didn't think-"
"It's okay," Kurt cut him off. "You couldn't have known. I should have warned you. It's just that Blaine never-" He stopped himself and gave Sebastian a guilty look. "I mean, I just never actually told anyone."
Sebastian chewed his lip as he thought about it. Their first official make-out session and he had already messed it up. Unlike Blaine. Kurt's former boyfriend had never made this mistake. Had he instinctively known not to do that to Kurt? Or had it been a coincidence? Maybe the boy had just preferred Kurt to take the lead.
Kurt misinterpreted Sebastian's pensive look and let out a huff of breath. "I ruined it now," he said sadly. Sebastian looked up. Kurt looked about as crestfallen as he felt. Sebastian quickly made up his mind.
"No, you haven't," he replied. "Come here."
Kurt scooted a little closer. Sebastian took his hand and pulled him closer, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss. Kurt kissed him back tentatively. Sebastian smiled. At least Kurt still wanted to kiss him. He brushed his hand down Kurt's side and put it on his hip, encouraging him with gentle pressure to straddle his lap. As Kurt followed his cue, Sebastian reached up and kissed him again, running his hands up and down Kurt's back in what he hoped was a soothing motion. After a while, he carefully opened his lips, inviting Kurt into his mouth. He could feel Kurt relax against him as he focused on the kiss and his touch.
"Better?" Sebastian whispered against Kurt's lips. Kurt had more control now- he could pull away any time or initiate more contact if he wanted.
"Mmm...yes," Kurt replied without opening his eyes. He was regaining color in his cheeks fast.
"I guess I'm one step closer to finding out your favorite position," Sebastian teased, and smirked as Kurt's eyes flew open. The other boy looked at him for a moment and then licked his lips.
"I guess so," he agreed, canting his hips a little to press into the body beneath him. Sebastian narrowed his eyes and met him halfway, grinding up.
"I can work with that," he said huskily.
A while later, Kurt lay slumped against Sebastian's chest, idly tracing the tattoo on his skin with a finger. Their shirts had been discarded somewhere in the midst of it all.
"Sebastian?" he said softly, his voice rising at the end.
"Hmmm?" the other boy replied lazily, his eyes still closed.
"Could you... would it be okay for you if we don't...tell anyone about this yet?" Kurt asked carefully, raising his head to look at his boyfriend.
Sebastian opened his eyes and smirked. "I wasn't about to broadcast that I made Kurt Hummel come in his pants, babe," he said, sounding amused. Kurt wrinkled his nose.
"No, not that. I mean...all of this. You and me."
Sebastian looked into Kurt's eyes. It didn't seem like he was sorry about what happened right now (even if Sebastian may have ruined the other boy's clothes a little). Still, it felt like Kurt's request was a way to save himself the embarrassment if this was just a rebound after all. Like he wanted to wait and see if Sebastian could live up to his expectations before he announced to the world he had fallen for the guy who had almost blinded his ex. I guess I deserve that, Sebastian thought. His friends all hate me. He licked his lips and nodded. "Understood. No facebook updates and no calling you 'hot stuff' in public."
"Sebastian, I am serious," Kurt said sternly, nudging his shoulder a little.
"Me too," Sebastian replied. "I shall make it my business to flirt with every cute guy I see so no one suspects anything."
Kurt harrumphed. "You already did that anyway."
"Ah, but I might have stopped." Sebastian raised an eyebrow in a silent challenge for Kurt to change his mind about keeping their relationship a secret.
"Right." Kurt shifted on the bed, moving off Sebastian. He felt sweaty and sticky. "Is it okay if I take a shower here?"
"Want me to help?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Not when I actually want to get clean, Bastian. Maybe next time." He picked up his shirt from the floor and headed towards the small bathroom.
"I'll hold you to that," Sebastian called after him. Then he let himself drop back on the mattress and sighed. It was like he didn't recognize himself at all. Half a year ago, he would have welcomed the chance of getting a regular booty call without the added effort of behaving well in public and holding hands. A secret affair would have been the perfect thing. But now that he had it - now that he had Kurt, the kind of boy he never thought he'd want but who'd turn out to be exactly what he needed- he kind of wished he could tell people about it. His old friends. Kurt's friends. His parents. For someone like Kurt to like him... it said something about him. It meant he wasn't so bad.