Well. This is it. My second story on this site (and indeed, on any). EVER. And my first Tintin one, although hopefully not my last. I may have slightly got the initial idea when watching a few Buffy episodes three days ago, so if you've watched it, there may be a few similarities. If you hadn't, then watch them. Watch them ALL.
I apologise in advance for any (incredibly rare) spelling or grammatical mistakes, lack of humour (believe me, it is meant to be slightly humourous, but one can never be too sure. And yes, 'humourous' can be spelt that way, because I hail from merry England) or terrible romantic moments. You see, I am not naturally talented at writing romance stories-I have never tried, but call it intuition-so if anything seems a bit 'off' or stilted, I really am very sorry.
Yes, there will be TintinxHaddock (and some BiancaxCalculus) in this story. If you don't care for it, then you don't read it.
Disclaimer: It is with great regret that I must announce that I don't own Tintin, his adventures, the characters in them, the film, books or the merchandise. Or Buffy. Which is equally as sad.
It was a well-know fact that the esteemed Professor Calculus was a genius. It went unsaid, but it was undoubtedly common knowledge. If you were to walk up to someone on a busy street in Brussels and enquire about the Professor, the common response was a gasp of recognition, and a quick sentence or two about his latest invention, and the genius of it. It was there, always there, in every single comment about the man. He was an absolute genius.
But he was also rather odd. Perhaps 'eccentric' was a kinder word. While many of his inventions proved to be useful and beneficial to the world at large, it couldn't be denied that some of his creations were downright bizarre. Of course, they weren't released to the world at large; perhaps some secret service or another, but one fine day one resident at Marlinspike Hall felt that enough was enough.
"For the last time Cuthbert, enough is ENOUGH!"
"The tide is looking a little rough? How on earth do you know that Captain? We're nowhere near the sea."
"No, I said that-oh, what's the use?" Captain Haddock groaned. He wearily poked at the remains of his breakfast, and found that he had no appetite. A long conversation with Calculus did that to most people, and the Captain was no exception to that rule.
"Oh, don't mind the Captain, Professor. Now tell us more about your research." Spoke the exception to the rule. Tintin had finished his breakfast a while ago; having risen earlier than the captain dared, and was absorbed in what the Professor had to say. Calculus was only too delighted to elaborate on whatever it was that had caught his interest (which only further confirmed Haddock's suspicion that Calculus had 'selective' hearing). Thankfully, he was spared most of the mind-numbing lecture by the doorbell ringing. He practically leapt at the chance to escape (who wouldn't?) and instantly ran out into the hallway, only to find that Nestor had greeted the mystery visitor. Well. He could still greet them, couldn't he? It would only be fair as the 'owner' of this manor (and to prevent him from listening to any more of Calculus' hare-brained schemes).
"Well ahoy there! And who may you be?" Professional and formal, Haddock. Professional and formal at all times when one is talking to –
"Police! We're here to investigate a murder!"
"Police! To be precise, we've murdered an investigator! Wait, no, that's not right…"
Captain Haddock felt himself holding back a sigh. He motioned for Nestor to allow them in and with a brief- "wait here, gentlemen"- he walked back to the kitchen to find Tintin and have him deal with Thompson and Thomson. He was rather amused to see that Calculus was still talking, and poor Tintin was looking more than a little weary. He cleared his throat which caught Tintin's attention, although Calculus remained ignorant. The captain rolled his eyes and spoke to Tintin.
"It seems that you're needed lad. Our two 'heavenly twins' are asking about a murder."
"Crumbs! I'd better go and talk to them! It could be the start of an adventure!" Tintin exclaimed, a look of excitement crossing his face. Haddock let a sigh pass his lips. Catching Tintin's eye, he noticed that the other was giving a friendly glare.
"Well don't look at me like that lad! Blistering Barnacles, we've had enough adventures to last a lifetime! Don't tell me that we're off gallivanting around the world now!" Like Tintin's glare, the Captain's tone was friendly and light, but with a bit of weight behind it. Yes, he had enjoyed some of the adventures that they had, but he couldn't deny that every time they went off on another, the Captain always found himself feeling very worried. Not just for himself, but for Tintin. Yes, he knew that the boy was more than capable of looking after himself, and he was tougher than he looked, but he still worried. The boy had saved him from himself, so what would happen to the captain if Tintin ever died? The captain shook his head, getting rid of the macabre thoughts. He hadn't been feeling too good today, and he didn't want to feel any worse with such terrible thoughts running through his mind.
"Are you alright Captain?" Tintin enquired, peering up at him. Captain Haddock broke his train of thought, and smiled at Tintin.
"There's nothing wrong lad, just spacing out a little, I guess." Not exactly true, but hey-ho. Truth be told, his stomach was feeling a little…fluttery. Whenever he looked at Tintin it seemed to get worse. Hopefully it was just a little stomach bug or something. Nothing too serious. Smiling again at Tintin, they set off to meet the detectives. Calculus was unaware for 10 minutes until he looked up and saw that the kitchen was devoid of life except for an ambitious ladybird.
"Well, I do declare! How very rude of them to leave without so much as an 'excuse me'! And I was just about to inform them of my latest invention! It is a work of genius, able to manipulate the memory of the subject, a marvellous breakthrough! With this we can understand how the memory works, as it still remains to be a mystery to use, even now…quite a project… ….and I STILL say that it's still rather rude to ignore me and leave, anyhow."
"So, you're saying that you had nothing to do with it?"
"I can guarantee that the captain and I had nothing to do with the poor man's murder, detectives." Tintin calmly stated, stirring his 8th cup of tea. It was close to becoming 5 o' clock, and Captain Haddock was becoming more than a little impatient. He had been cooped up here for God knows how many hours, not allowed to leave for anything lest he was actually the murderer responsible for killing a representative of the Bordurian Government, and was about to make a crafty get away with the aid of a suspicious-looking milk van. (Tintin had actually felt it necessary to inform the two that he was in fact doing his daily rounds, and was a rather nice fellow named Charles Adrien, and no, he wasn't from Borduria, he was born in Mons.)So the long and short of it was that the Captain was incredibly bored and irritated, while Tintin was only a little vexed.
"Hmmm. Well, as you two must be rather busy and are definitely innocent, we'll take our leave. Sorry to disturb you two!"
"To be precise, we've disturbed you two by being sorry!" The two detectives made to leave, only to be somewhat delayed by a rather flustered Nestor who looked like he'd seen a ghost. Captain Haddock picked up on this straight away, and felt the need to crack a little joke, seeing as he'd been stuck here forever and a day;
"Hello there Nestor! What's the matter? You look like you've seen the Castafiore!"
It would be one of those moments he would look back on years later and dub it as a 'clichéd situational irony moment'.
"Fie, my dear Paddock! You are so smart, no? You knew I had arrived even though it had not yet been announced! It must be a gift!"
.Why. "NESTOR!" Haddock bellowed, before realising that Nestor was still there. The poor man in question began to hastily explain himself, lest he bring down the captain's wrath upon himself.
"Well, you see sir, I was notified of her arrival beforehand about three hours ago, but when I tried to notify you, I was forbidden to enter, by order of these two detectives. My deepest apologies for failing to warn you sir."
Captain Haddock now turned his formidable glare to the Thompson twins. The pair flinched and held on to each other, bracing themselves for a scolding. If Haddock wasn't so angry, he would have found it comical. But his words died in his throat when Bianca began to talk;
"Oh dear me! It seems that I have caused a little bit of trouble, no? Mamma Mia! I am so sorry for causing dear Gladdock and you, dear Tintin, some problems! To cheer you all up, I will sing you the wonderful 'Jewel Song' from Faust. How wonderful that would be, no? Irrrma, Wagner, would you both come here, my darlings? It seems that we have to be a bother once more, my dears, as we were planning to stay for a little while so our luggage… never mind, I'm sure that we can deal with it later…"
Captain Haddock attempted to tune out her voice, but found that it was far too piercing to block out. He winced as soon as he heard her begin to sing that cursed song, polite murmurs of objection from others drowned out by that extremely loud voice of hers.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you would look at it, Calculus decided to enter, past annoyance forgotten (he had a few hours to get over it after all) and exclaimed in an excited voice over the nightmarish din, "My dear friends! Look at what I've just created! This extremely powerful chemical has taken me months to develop, and I call it…well, I don't know what to call it exactly, I was rather hoping that you would be so kind as to help me with that…but I digress, it's chemical 'name', so to speak, is TbRs, it is a compound, naturally, and I-oh I say! Look out!"
He found that he had been interrupted by two things, or rather, three people. Firstly, he was being urgently hushed by a nervous (and now partially deaf) Tintin, who was a little concerned that his chatter would disturb and upset Bianca enormously. Luckily, it seemed that she couldn't even hear anything over her own voice, and so remained blissfully unaware of the Professor's interruption. Secondly, and most importantly, the distraction caused by Calculus seemed to bring the detectives out of their terrified paralysis caused by Castafiore's singing, and came to their –very few- senses, before running off as fast as they could in order to escape the song and to inform headquarters that the suspicious milk van was just a milk van, not a potential get-away truck. However, in their desperate bid for freedom, they ran into Calculus who was still standing by the door, and sent the smaller man flying, which in turn sent the small flask he was carrying falling to the floor, shattering and spilling the cloudy liquid all over the floor.
Although a few people (Bianca being one of them) didn't notice, of the few that did, only Tintin and Calculus were concerned about the broken flask. While Thompson and Thomson were more concerned about prying their bowler hats off their heads and Captain Haddock was attempting to help them while muttering a variety of curses, Tintin and the Professor both looked at the broken flask with dismay.
"Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Tintin, my boy, you must get everyone out of here. I'm not sure what this will do, but it's better to be safe rather than sorry. I'll get this cleaned up." Calculus shook his head before his was interrupted by Tintin, whose curiosity had overwhelmed him, as per usual.
"What exactly did that chemical do again, Professor?" He noticed that the remaining liquid seemed to be evaporating, and what was left was becoming clear. He wasn't sure if it was poisonous (he doubted it was) but he wanted to be sure. Just in case. He wouldn't want the Captain to be hurt. Or, indeed, any of the residents that were here, including himself. He shook his head, trying to clear it. Was it just him, or was everything becoming a little fuzzy? Not only that, but his stomach was a little fluttery…
"That's odd." Remarked Tintin, before he collapsed on the floor, Calculus following a few seconds later.
"Tintin!" Yelled the captain. "Are you alright lad? Blistering Barnacles…" he ran over to Tintin, and started to sway, before collapsing right next to the boy. This caused everyone to stop what they were doing, and to crowd around those who were unconscious. They almost immediately collapsed too.
As Snowy remarked to the cat later on, you would have thought that they would have known better.
Well. That's the first chapter up. I wasn't actually intending for it to be stupendously long, but as it turns out, it is. Funny how time flies, especially if you're meant to be revising…ah well. I promise that I'll update soon! Please review etc… criticism is appreciated, but please be civil~
I'll see you next time! :D