Albert: You know, it can be frustrating sometimes when your sister snores at night and you just can't go to sleep. You wake up saying "I got no sleep last night," and then you fall asleep during class. I mean, I know she can't help it, but let's just face it, I CAN'T GET ANY SLEEP!"
Interviewer: How many hours of sleep do you get?
Albert: Well... we go to bed at 9:30 and get up at 6:30 and that's about ten and a half hours, but I don't normally go to bed until 12:30 because I can't go to sleep and I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes. So I would say, I get about 6 hours of sleep. One day, she was crying because she didn't ask the kid she liked to the dance. But when she cries, it's better than her snoring.
Interviewer: When was the first time you encountered Laura's snoring?
Albert: It was hen the Ingalls first let me stay at their place. That night before I went to bed I said that she was probably one of those snorers. I think I might have jinxed myself because that night I heard something coming from her side of the loft. It was coming from her and it took me a bit but I found out that she was snoring. I said, "I knew it, I just knew it." Those were the hard times. I feel bad for Almanzo if he ever marries her, but at least I won't be hearing her anymore. Why can't I just move downstairs in Carrie's bed and she can move up here in the loft? It's one thing to sleep on the hard floor in the loft, but it's another if your older sister snores. I wish I could just look her in the eyes and yell, "LAURA, YOU SNORE." The truth is... I got more sleep when I was living under a porch.
Laura: Are you talking about me up there?
Albert: No, not at all. Let's end the interview now.
The end.