Jiang Ji Answers Letters!

by Moon-sama

After a few letters of torturing Sima Yi and saying he had been peeping his wife and all, Jiang Ji decided to join in the fun that Cao Cao, Sima Yi, Xiahou Xiuying and Sun Quan had started, answering letters! He might be a generic, but nonetheless, has a personality of his own! Same rating as those four, like minor swearing and all of that. Sexual References, blah blah. You get it.

Hello, before we start, allow me to introduce myself!

My name is Jiang Ji, styled Zitong, and yes, I am pretty sarcastic and sassy, though I tend to think that I am quite honest and tell the truth of my words. You may call me Sarcastic and Sassy but hey, I'm only telling the truth. Deal with it. I hold a weapon known as a Monk's spade (月牙鏟 if you speak Chinese).

Today, I was on the internet browsing with my new JinDOS 8(Parody of Windows 8) computer that I had bought for about 1,450,000 Gold and decided to head over to a site. Apparently, on the Wei and Wu website, I had saw that there was several of the officers taking in questions from everyone around the world, starting with Cao Cao, then Master Sima Yi, then Xiahou Xiuying, then Sun Quan! I was surprised on how popular letter answering was, so I had decided... hmm... what if I started my own? So here I am, ready to answer your questions! And PLEASE, Sima Yi, no telling me that "Oh, Jiang Ji is an imbecile generic. He can't answer questions!". I sure am an imbecile generic answering questions, but remember too, I supported you all the way. And besides, I'm a pretty most wanted on a wishlist of characters. Heh... Well anyways, enough bragging because I will turn into Zhongda eventually. Let's get on with the letters!

. /officers/jiang-ji/letters! Go there now! (It's not a real link by the way guys. Oh i so wish it was though.)

...

Few days later, some new questions come in!

...

Dear Sima Yi,

Oh yes, I remember that time! The time where I spilled the tea all over the maps! Hahaha. Oh wow. It was so funny to see your face so humiliated.

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Sima Yi,

You really think so? You think that I would touch your wife? I'm not that dog, Zhuge Dan you know. Zhang Chunhua deserves privacy! Besides, don't you hate her? If so, why don't you give her to Zhuge Dan?

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Zhang Chunhua,

Thank you very much for the welcoming. I appreciate that you wanting me to answer questions and thinking I am interesting!

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Cao Ren,

You don't know how much it sucked being out there in the rain of Fan Castle. It got my robe all wet! It was clean too! And you know that Man Chong was doing nothing but complaining that his figure was being ruined!

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Wang Yi,

Hahaha! I bet you had indeed heard of my love for wine! Yes, I do love wine, and I bet I can probably drink a bit more than you can.

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Wang Yi,

Oh? You are asking for a drinking contest? With ME? Well then you have yourself a deal, but I don't know if a petite and strong warrior woman can easily beat me in a drinking contest.

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Wang Yi,

Don't get so cocky.

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Zhang Fei,

Yep, we're going to have a drinking contest. Don't know if Master Sima Yi will approve of a Shu officer in it though. But who cares? Master Sima Yi is probably not wanting you for his "evil" world domination plots.

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Zhou Tai,

Alright, challenge accepted! If all you can say is "You're on.", then that's fine with me.

Signed, Jiang Ji.

Dear Xiahou Ba,

I'd appreciate it if you would stop downloading pornography. It's costing up the bandwith and its making Master Sima Yi paying more money. WeiFi is world class sure, but seriously! You are gonna make our internet go down again, and with their HORRIBLE text support.

Besides, you're too young for that.

Signed, Jiang Ji.