This is just a little one shot that came to me for Halloween. Maggie J Masen and Alice's White Rabbit have helped me clean this thing up so that it's presentable, so thanks to both of them for that. Enjoy!
Bella-
As I pack up my things to head home after work, Alice stops by my desk to talk. I know what she would offer; I can see it written all over her face.
"Hey, wanna follow me home and eat dinner with us?" Of course, I was right. "Jasper made some of his pork barbeque that you love so much." A large sigh makes its way from her mouth, a little too staged, but there all the same. "He always makes way too much of it." Her left arm slides into her coat, and her comments sounds so casual, almost flippant, but I know better. The begging was written in her eyes even if it was missing from her words.
"I'm good. I have some lasagna left. Besides, I wouldn't be any fun. I have tons of paperwork left to get done tonight. If I skip out on it now then I'll only have to catch up tomorrow, and I don't want that." I wrinkle up my face as I speak. I keep my words as casual as hers while ignoring the elephant in the room.
For Alice's sake, I have to ignore it. No one wants to hint at the fact that Alice was getting past the point of being a good friend to bordering on really creepy stalker. She has been for months. Jasper and all the others seem to placate her, encouraging her to let the "ideas" go gently. Months now this has gone on, and I think it's time for someone to get real with her, to tell her like it is. She needs to cut the shit out or else someone is going to lock her ass back up in the loony bin like when she was a teenager.
That's what best friends do; they tell each other the truth, right? When everyone else is saying nice things, we say the things they need to hear. I love Alice with all of my heart. We have been best friends since grade school. Long before her mom went nuts and killed her dad in front of her, long before her stint in the loony bin, and long before Jasper and Edward became our significant others. We've been through thick and thin. But this has got to stop; her comments, her suggestions, and her craziness is only going to hurt her.
Rose suggested it might be the pregnancy. Carlisle said it was possible, certainly a probable medical explanation, the hormonal changes in the body causing her chemical balances to be slightly off. If so, then we have four more months of craziness to deal with, and I'm about on edge as it is.
"You sure? You look tired. Why don't I drive us? You can stay in the guest room, and we'll carpool in tomorrow like old times?" The begging in her eyes turns to excitement, and I hate to let her down. Adult life had pulled us apart recently, and I do love to hang out with her. But I can't, not this time.
"Alice, I've got things to do, paperwork and such. Not tonight, sweet cheeks." I pat her arm and turn to put my coat on.
"Bella, I don't want you to be alone tonight. We can have a fire and s'mores." Now the sigh that escapes is mine.
"Alice, don't be silly. I'll heat up the leftover lasagna, pour some wine, and Edward will come by to start a fire in my fireplace. We made plans to talk; I can't leave him hanging." I turn away from her and gather my purse as I speak. I clearly hear the gasp as I mention Edward's name.
I hate how mad she still is with him. Yeah, we argued, got angry, and he left me; but he's trying to mend those fences and get us back to where we once were. She needs to let it go and give us the space to do that.
"Oh, Bella." Tears are evident in her voice.
"Alice, I won't have this again. I've told you how I feel about this. No begging and pleading. We're working on things, and I can't stand it when you won't even try to understand. Why do you have to be such a cunt? For God's sakes you're worse than Jessica Stanley sometimes."
She stands stock still in shock as I march away. Harsh, maybe? But I just need my best friend to support me sometimes, and more often than not, support and Alice were not synonymous these days.
I drive home in the pouring rain, only the slapping of the windshield wipers as my company. After the argument, I didn't feel like music or any other distraction. I left my phone in my purse as well. I wasn't ready to take the "I'm sorry, please forgive me" text I know was bound to happen sooner or later. She needs to stew this time. Maybe then she will see how committed I am to getting things back on track with Edward.
I mean, hell, it wasn't all his fault that he left. I had a part in it. A big part.
We had been together since 8th grade. Never dated anyone else, never kissed anyone else, nothing. We were meant to be, a forever kind of thing. Alice wasn't pissed about it because when I began to date Edward, she got to spend more time with his best friend, Jasper, whom she secretly had a crush on. So, win/win for us all. Edward and I dated all through high school and got married the summer before we left for college. Things were great, college was a breeze for both of us, and we came back home to Forks because we wanted to be close to both of our families when we started our family. It took us almost a year, but we finally got the good news, only to be stunned when we went in for our routine ultrasound to find out the baby's heart was no longer beating. Our baby had died inside of me, gone, no hope of saving it. In fact, they had no idea how long it had been gone, just that it was.
Edward tried to be strong for me, but I grew further and further apart from him. I focused on the cavern that used to be my womb, the place where our child grew. Now it was dark, desolate, and empty. Everyone tried to encourage me to try again, to "start over." How could they say things like that to me? They implied it was easy as pie to just forget I had a child inside of me, that the child could be taken out like yesterday's trash and forgotten that simply.
So, yeah, I was a little nuts for a while, to the point where Edward felt like he had to leave and get some space.
But we're okay now. We're working on things, and I've admitted my part so I can move past it. It's taken therapy, medications, and a very brief stay in the same nut house Alice called home for six months, but I'm here now, healthier and working on getting my life back in order.
The lights are off when I get home. I expected Edward to arrive before I did, so, naturally, it makes me worry slightly. With all the rain and how quickly it gets dark during the winter, those are not a good combination for driving.
I immediately shut down the unhealthy thinking and begin to focus on the good of the situation. Charlie was Chief of Police; if Edward were involved in an accident then he would call me right away to let me know. Hell, the last accident Edward had, I knew before Charlie did. The deputies recognized the car and called me right away. No such phone call tonight, so things are most assuredly fine; he's just running late like I did. That's all.
Since Edward isn't here, I start the fire and throw the lasagna into the oven to warm as I change into some comfy sweats so we can relax and talk. Edward has not moved back into the house with me, not yet anyway. We are working toward that goal, but it wasn't unusual for him to sleep over here now and again. He has left things here and there around the house to remind me of his presence. I know he has clothes upstairs in the spare bedroom, his toothbrush is in the hallway bath, and his dirty socks are by the bed like always. It's just in the spare room instead of the master bedroom.
Just as I pull the lasagna out of the oven, a knock sounds on the front door. My brow scrunches in worry. Edward would use the kitchen door, closest to the detached garage. Who would be knocking on the front door?
"Hey, Bells. You okay? I came to check on you because of all the rain and some slight flooding. I wanted to make sure you got home okay?" Charlie stomps his feet on the doormat outside my front door to clear the mud and rain from his boots as he pushes his way passed me and inside the house. It gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling to know my dad feels as at home in my house as he does at his own, then I realize he's looking around. Almost checking out the rooms he can see from the front door. The hairs on my neck stand up. Why would my dad be checking on me?
"Yeah, my drive was fine. I didn't think you were working tonight; something come up?" I ask as I try to push down the feeling of eeriness.
"We just tend to have more accidents on nights like this, so I decided to go in and help out, just in case." He pauses as he sees my dining room table set with two places. "You expecting someone for dinner?"
"What a silly question, of course I am. Edward is coming over." I throw my hands on my hips; everyone in town was slightly left of center today for some odd reason. Maybe it was Halloween and all the spooky vibes around this time of the year. Who knows, but it was certainly working. I was spooked.
"Bella …" He looks so sad and slightly confused.
"Dad, look, it's a slow process, okay? Just give me time to figure it out, and we'll be fine. But for now, just let me work this out in my own way, deal?" Before he can answer, his police radio comes to life with details and codes only Charlie understands.
"Duty calls. Please, stay inside tonight. I don't need to worry about you out there with all the yahoos too stupid to stay in, okay?" I nod as he kisses my forehead and turns to leave. "We'll talk about the Edward situation, soon." I just nod. I know there's no other answer for him. He will not be denied. His lights cast shadows across the dining room wall as I watch him drive away. I worry that one day I'll get a call about him too, only it will be much more serious than a simple car accident.
The timer for the garlic bread and the kitchen door opening both brought me out of my stupor of dreadful feelings.
"Edward, is that you?" I call out.
"Of course, it's me. You invite more than one man to dinner each night?" His smirk is truly the thing dreams are made of. You can see the sexy, drop-dead good looks, the boyish charm, the touch of naughty, and the sweet innocence all rolled into one pair of gorgeous green eyes. I can't help but wrap my arms around him as he speaks.
"Well, no, but technically, I didn't even invite you. You just seem to always show up here." I whisper against his ear as I press my body against his.
"So true, how rude of me. Let me just correct my lack of social graces and carry myself to a proper restaurant to partake of my dinner there instead. Please, madam, forgive my forwardness." His body is bent in a dashing bow as he feigns disgrace at his lack of manners.
"Stop that and get yourself into the dining room so I can serve dinner." I smack his ass as I move to get the bread from the oven.
"Can I just sit with you while you eat? I had a late lunch meeting, and we went to that steak house Peter loves so much, the one that plies you with food 'til you explode, so I couldn't eat if I wanted to." He helps me bring the food and wine to the table.
As I sit, he drops his hands to my shoulders and leans over to sniff my skin. It's one of his strange habits, he sniffs me. He enjoys sniffing me. He says I have a smell that is all my own—no lotion, no perfume, or even laundry soap—just me, and he's addicted to it.
"Hard day?" His hand begins to knead my shoulder muscles.
"Yeah, how'd you guess?" I chuckle.
"Well, I think you could hold the weight of the world up here, Atlas." He gives my neck a firm squeeze that brings a moan from the depths of my body.
"It's Alice; she's still a little worried." I sigh, both at the situation and for the amazing massage Edward is laying on my shoulder and neck muscles.
"Give her time, baby, she'll come around. She's just worried about you."
I spin suddenly in my chair. "That's just it, Edward, I'm worried for her, the things she says and does. It's not cool. She's a few sandwiches shy of a picnic, if you know what I mean. And yet, I hold all this in because I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she spouts shit to me all the time, even if it doesn't make any fucking sense or really apply to our situation. She's losing it, and no one but me seems to notice."
Edward drops down to his knees right in front of me and takes my hands in his.
"Hey, are you really worried about her? I mean is she acting that crazy?" he asks.
"Yes, she told me on Sunday afternoon our relationship—" I motion between Edward and myself "—was over, and I needed to move on. That we were broken beyond repair and she thought the finality of things would have hit me by now. I mean, what the fuck does she mean? I've shown her all the sweet notes you've left me. I've told her all the conversations we've had, and she just refuses to see it. I don't know what else to do to make her believe it." I push my plate away because I've now lost my appetite.
"Baby, she will just need some time. Try to see her side of things. She's not with us; she doesn't see me the way you do. She's an outsider who will never understand our relationship and the hardships it has to go through. She is your best friend, though. She was around before I was, and she's just looking out for you. Try to cut her some slack and just humor her, okay? If for nothing else, just to keep the peace 'til we can get to a place where she will finally understand we are a "'til death do us part" kind of thing." I kiss his sweet, sexy lips. He always knows the right things to say to me.
The kiss leads to another and another, and eventually, we're upstairs across the bed in all sorts of states of undress. Edward's mouth is on a descending path straight to the Promised Land as the doorbell rings. And rings, and rings, then is accompanied by this strange little timed out knock.
It has to be Emmett. Who else would be such a pain in the ass at the door, especially when I'm about to get the "happy ending" that will make my shitty day even better?
Edward groans but lies perfectly still as the doorbell begins to ring again in an obnoxiously timed song of sorts. I jump up and grab my robe to toss around my naked body. As I descend the stairs, I scream, "I'm coming, Emmett, keep it in your fucking pants." I hear his snicker from the other side of the wood door.
"Bells, what's up beyotch?" He pushes me aside as he marches into my house, shoes dripping all over my hardwood floors, with a large box in his hands. He finally turns to greet me face-to-face. "Whoa, woman, you alone? 'Cause you look like you just took the express train to dirty town and rode it around a few turns. Hey, who's up there?" Emmett screams up the stairs. "Bella, I swear if it is that douchebag Tyler Crowley, I will snap his nerdy ass in two! I can't let my boy down like that. There is no way in hell Edward would be okay with you fucking Tyler Crowley." I slap my hands over Emmett's mouth before any more shit can spew out. The last thing I need is for Edward to hear his ramblings and think I've, for even a second, thought about Tyler Crowley in any way other than when he changes my oil every 5,000 miles. And no, that is not a euphemism for anything. He owns the Quick Lube in town, that's all.
"Em, shut the fuck up. Damn, why would you even bring up Crowley? He had a crush on me in high school; that was years ago. Besides, I hear he's doing Lauren now, so his dance card is full. And what do you want anyway?" I grip the edges of my robe tighter as I realize I'm this close to showing Emmett the goods in the midst of my angry display.
"Well, good to know, skank deserves skank. Maybe they'll get married and have some little skank babies to fill up their broken down skank house."
Wow, Emmett, judgmental much? "Emmett, why the hell are you here? It's raining, so get your ass home!" I shove him toward the door.
"Wait. I was at the deer camp this weekend and saw some of Edward's things he left last time he was there, so I brought them home with me. I thought you'd want them here instead of there, especially since its wintertime, and I know none of us are going to be getting down there for a while. At least 'til spring." Emmett seems to sober somewhat in the last few seconds. He must take his hunting a lot more serious than I ever imagined.
"Well, thanks, Em, that's sweet. I'm sure it could have waited 'til spring, but thanks anyway." I point toward the dining room table so he can set the box down.
"Nah, this is some of his good shit. He rushed out of there so fast the last time, and I'm sure he didn't realize how much he left behind." Em's eyes got a little misty; we all did that when we think of or speak about the day Edward rushed back from deer camp.
It was the day I called him and told him I didn't want to live anymore; the day I spewed all the shit about how terrible my life was and how I thought the world would be better off without me. He left to come and save me, to make sure I was okay. And it was the day he had his accident. I was fortunate the accident distracted me. It brought my life into focus, and I realized suicide was not the answer. So even though it was a dark time, it was the saving grace for me.
"Thanks, Em. I appreciate it, so much." A soft smile makes its way onto my mouth as a secondary thanks to Emmett for taking care of us and not judging our relationship.
"You sure you're okay? I can call Rosie and have her come and sit with you if you need me to?"
"Nah, I'm good. Go home and eat dinner with your wife." I lean up and place a gentle kiss on his cheek.
"'K, call me if you need me."
I smile again. "I will."
"I mean it. You can call me for anything, anytime. I'm here for you." A serious note takes over him.
I smile in an attempt to diffuse it. "I will, Emmett, be safe."
"You too, Bells." Only Emmett and my dad are allowed to call me that; everyone else gets their asses handed to them for using that name.
I close the door, lock it, and turn to see Edward standing at the bottom of the stairs. "I think I'm going to go, Bella. It's too soon for what almost happened up there anyway." His head shifts and he glances back up to the top of the stairs, to our room.
"Are you sure? It's late and raining. Why don't you stay in the guest room. I don't like the idea of you out in this rain." I touch his arm and feel his warmth through the fabric of his shirt. It was one of the things I remember so vividly about the time we were together. He was always so warm when he held me. It was as if his energy melded with mine and warmed us both.
"I'm fine. I'll text you when I get to the apartment so you don't worry. Okay?" I simply nod. I want more from him. I want him to stay, to work this out so we no longer lived in two separate places. I want us to live together as man and wife again. I have made progress, but apparently, it wasn't enough, yet.
"Okay." I concede.
"Remember, I love you. I've always loved you, and I always will." The porch light shines through the windows and makes a bronze halo around Edward's head. He is lit up like an angel. It only makes me want to keep him close to me even more.
One more quick kiss to my lips and he moves off toward the kitchen and his car.
Another three weeks of tentative breakthroughs in Edward's and my relationship. It's slow going, but it's going, so I won't bitch. I've come clean to him about all my feelings and how I own my mistakes. He's told me all about his side of things, what he meant, what he felt, and we're working on letting the past stay in the past.
Alice hasn't let up on me about spending time away from my house and with other people. She doesn't see how fragile things are between Edward and me. So, she gets pissed when I say I can't. I don't explain anymore, I just say no. I'm tired of talking to her and her not listening, so I just don't explain.
"Hey, everybody is coming to our house for Thanksgiving, and since Charlie is going to be on duty 'til after 7, I thought you'd like to come as well. You know, so you won't be alone." The last sentence is whispered. Alice's beautiful wide eyes are open even further, almost as if she can't even believe she has actually said it out loud.
"I won't be alone, Alice. Edward has agreed to come over. We'll spend the day together." It is probably said with a little too much venom, but I have had enough from her.
"Bella, please." A tear slips from her eye as she speaks. "Please, just come over. Spend some time with us. Don't do this; don't pull away. We're all so worried about you. Please, pretty please."
"What does that even mean, Alice? I'm fine, fucking fine, except for all the meddling you do. When will you realize we need to repair what we broke? Is that too much for you to take? That, for once, I might get to have it all, and you'll just be second fiddle? Why can't you be happy with Jasper and your baby, and stay the fuck out of my life?" I'm panting and spewing spittle along with every word. Alice is in tears, and I'm sweaty and flushed by the time it's all over. Everyone else on our floor is staring at us. I grab my purse and run for the door. I hear her on the phone with Jasper as I flee.
I text Edward a few times at the red lights, but he doesn't text back. He must be tied up at work, so I press the button that will bring him to me and help soothe my frayed nerves.
"Hello?"
The voice on the other line is most certainly not Edward's. In fact, it's not even a man's voice.
"Who the fuck is this?" I shout. Begging and pleading with all my heart for Alice not to be right; I can't handle it if she was right. Not today. Tomorrow, I may survive it, but I most certainly can't today.
"This is Victoria, who's calling, please?"
"Victoria, this is Bella Cullen. I'm trying to reach my husband, Edward Cullen. May I speak to him?" The words are polite, but the tone most assuredly is not; it is venomous at the least.
"I'm sorry, Bella, you have the wrong number. There's no Edward here." I scoff at her words immediately.
"Fucking bullshit, Victoria, it's programmed in; it's been programmed in since he got this number about 7 years ago. So, even if it isn't programmed in, I think I would fucking remember the number. Now put him on the phone, bitch." I shout.
I can almost see myself reacting from a distance, like when people die and they give accounts of being in a corner of the room and watching all that happens. Well, that's how I feel right now.
"Bella, I've had this number for almost a year now. I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, but there simply is no Edward here. Is there someone else I can call for you? You sound a little upset, and I'd like to get you some help." Her voice is kind and gentle, the "don't poke the angry bear" kind of voice.
"You know what, Victoria, fuck you, okay? Just because I lost touch with reality for a few weeks doesn't mean I'm crazy and need to be spoken to like a crazy person. So FUCK YOU. I'M FINE." I press the button to end the call and really wish I were on an old fashion phone like my grandparents had with a handset so I could slam it down. A healthy slam right now would work for me, let out some of the aggression.
Just as I'm about to throw the phone, I feel it vibrate in my hand. I slide the lock and answer it without looking at the name and picture attached. I'm praying for Edward.
"Bells, it me, Dad. I just talked to Alice, and I think I need to come and get you, okay? Where are you?"
"I'm fine, Dad. I've had it up to here with Alice and her meddling. She wouldn't stop, and I over reacted, but I'm fine." As hard as it is, I try to calm myself so I can assure my dad that I am fine.
"Honey, she told me you and Edward are working things out, is that right?" He sounds scared and slightly angry. I mean, I know the whole spiral would concern him, but I expect a little bit more enthusiasm from him than what I hear. I drive quickly up the driveway and around to the back of the house. When I reach the garage, I slam my car into park and rush up to the back door.
"Yeah, Dad, we are. What's it to you?"
I unlock the back door and step in. Immediately, I realize Emmett, Alice, and Jasper are all there in my kitchen. I freeze. The last people I want to see. I press my thumb against the red button and end the call; he'll have to wait as I deal with this.
"What the hell are you all doing here? Especially you. Didn't you do enough already?" I point directly at Alice. Jasper steps slightly in front of her; Alice pushes him back out of the way, but he holds his ground.
"Bells, look, Alice didn't mean for that to happen at work, okay. She's just worried; we all are." His hands are held up in front of him at a safe level so we both can see them.
"Well, it's too late for that. She needs to get the fuck out of my house." I point directly at Alice. "All of you need to get the fuck out." I hear the siren before I see the lights bounce off the windows and reflect around inside the house.
Everything is surreal, almost in slow motion, and nothing makes sense to me. I feel drugged up and woozy.
Charlie and his deputy rush through the back door. Emmett gives a small, almost imperceptive, shake of his head as they make eye contact.
Charlie speaks first. "Bella, honey, I think things are a little out of control right now, right? Let's sit down and talk for a minute." He reaches a hand out to me, and I pull away from him. I would step further away, but that will put me within reach of Emmett's long ass arms, and I don't want that.
I hear the crack of the police mic and someone spouts info throughout the lines. I recognize my address and know shit is about to go down, but for the life of me, I can't imagine what the hell it is. I'm missing one major piece of the puzzle.
"I'm fine, Dad, totally fine. I need a long bath and a large glass of wine, and I'll be fine."
"Honey …" He doesn't get to finish his sentence because Carlisle and Esme come busting into the kitchen as well. Tears are streaming down Esme's eyes, and Carlisle looks like he's aged 20 years since I saw him last.
"Bella, what you told Alice about working things out with Edward, tell me about it, okay?" Everyone in the room stops moving and listen as Dad asks me about something so personal about our relationship.
I roll my eyes, now they want to know. No one listened to me before, but now all of a sudden, they are so curious.
"Fine. He called me several months ago, right around the time of our anniversary, and we talked on the phone for hours. We each admitted the things we did wrong, and I told him about the help Dr. Amun has given me: the coping mechanisms and the medication. He was proud of me for going to see him and getting help. He agreed to call him as well and set up something. In fact, he's been seeing him for weeks now. Dr. Amun suggested we talk and see if things could be worked out since we're in a much better place now." Somehow, Charlie and I are now standing very close together; he maintains eye contact so I continue to do so as well. I feel the other bodies shifting around behind me, but no one interrupts. The only other sound in the kitchen is the ugly clock Edward loves and Carlisle murmuring quietly; I assume he's on his phone since no one else is talking in the room.
"And you say this happened right around your anniversary? Do you remember the exact date?" I focus on Charlie again.
"It was the 14th. I remember I had a big meeting that day at work. The meeting was with a man named Edward, and I kept thinking all day long how funny it would be if this was how Edward chose to come back to me. It wasn't him, so imagine my surprise when I got home and had a phone call from him." I hear Esme sob as I speak; Emmett soothes her and shows her to the couch in the living room. Her sobs are still audible yet they aren't distracting now.
"And after that first conversation, how long before you saw him in person?" Charlie's eyes flip up and meet someone else's gaze over my shoulder.
"It was, uhm … a few days later, I guess. I don't really remember." I scratch my head and try to remember. For some reason, I couldn't remember any of it: the days, times, or exact conversations. Who really catalogs all this mundane shit in life? You never know you will need it again, so it seems inconsequential, until it isn't.
"Bella?" Charlie touches my arm, and I focus on him again. "How many times since August 14th have you seen Edward? Have the two of you gone out in public together?"
"I don't know how many times, at least three to four times a week. And, no, we've never gone out in public. Edward felt like we should have things worked out completely before we appear in public and have to answer questions." I glance at the ugly clock over Charlie's shoulder and count down the minutes I have until Edward normally shows up so he can answer for himself, so I can prove to everyone we're fine.
"Has Edward said where he's living, or working, for that matter?"
"What are you getting at?" I feel panic rising up inside of me. These were interrogation questions, not the simple let's find out what's going on kind.
"Bella, look at me, honey. This will be hard to hear, but please, listen to me. Honey, Edward was in a car accident last year. On August 14th."
"I know, I got the call. I went to the hospital and sat with him. I know all of this. What does this have to do with this year? I don't understand." I drop down directly onto the kitchen floor. I'm so confused. Carlisle squats beside Charlie, and they communicate through silent words before Carlisle turns to me.
"Bella, I was on the phone with Dr. Amun. He's concerned about you. He says you haven't shown up for your last few appointments."
"I know. Edward called and said he wanted to talk to Dr. Amun instead. He's been seeing Dr. Amun, and once he was ready, we would see him together, the final step in our reconciliation process." I glance between the two men whom, other than Edward, I trust most in my life.
"Bella, I spoke with Dr. Amun. He says he's never spoken to Edward, had no idea about any of the conversations you say they had." I jump to my feet, knocking both Charlie and Carlisle on their asses.
"This is bullshit; they have spoken over the phone and in person. Edward told me what they talked about, in detail. I don't know why Dr. Amun is jerking us all around here, but he is. Let me call Edward; he'll explain." I reach for my phone and slide open the lock.
I dial Edward's number from memory and wait for him to answer.
"Hello?" I recognize the voice; it's Victoria again. I freeze and check the number just to be sure. It's his number. In fact, it's his face as the contact photo, but it's not his voice that answers. "Hello? Bella, is that you again?"
I quickly end the call and lay the phone on the table.
Carlisle takes my hands in his, and Charlie steps even closer. In fact, I'm closed in between their two bodies and the kitchen table. "Bella, honey, Edward is gone. He's not here. He couldn't have spoken with Dr. Amun or you. I'm sure of this. I'm sorry, honey, he just couldn't have done either of those things." I jerk my hands away.
"He did, I'm telling you. He did. He was here. He stayed the night; he showered here; he ate and we slept in our bed together. He left me a note the next morning. He was here, I swear it!" It took me too long to remember this fact. If I had remembered it when they first questioned me then we might be done by now. I pushed Carlisle away and made my way towards the stairs.
I rushed up to our room and slammed the door open. I saw his clothes on the chair in the corner, his razor on the sink, and the spare toothbrush he left laying on the counter. I point all these things out to Jasper, Carlisle, and Charlie. I open my nightstand and pull out the note he left. It's worn from me constantly reading it, unfolded and folded again several times a night.
"Bella, this is a UPS notification, dated almost a year ago. It's not from Edward, honey." I scream and shake. My world is closing in on me, and I don't know how or why.
"It's from him, it is! Why are you lying to me? WHY?"
I feel a prick to the back of my arm, and my world goes black.
I wake up a little later, in bed, and the room is dark. I can see the light that filters in from the hallway, and I can hear voices. I sit and listen to them, as bits and pieces of partial conversations drift in to me.
… total and complete breakdown … most likely brought on by the anniversary date and the coincidence of the name Edward she was supposed to meet with … figment of her imagination … living in a psychotic delusion, only her life outside the house is real … not sure how long she can maintain this until she loses touch and shuts down … indefinitely
I step into the bathroom and make use of the facilities before I make my way downstairs to see if they have finally found Edward, so he can clear this all up.
As I step back out into the bedroom, I see Edward sitting in the chair in our bedroom.
"Edward, oh, thank God, you're here. Did you see our family downstairs? They've been questioning me about you all afternoon. Please, help me. Go and talk to them." He sits stoically and doesn't meet my eyes when I talk to him. "Edward, please, talk to them. Just talk to them; help me fix this." He wouldn't turn his head to talk to me or even acknowledge me in any way. Panic fills me and I scream at him. "Edward, talk to them! Just talk to them, now. Clear this up."
Carlisle, Charlie, and Dr. Amun run up the stairs. "Bella, are you okay? Tell me."
I point to the chair. "It's Edward. He won't talk to me; he won't answer your questions or fix this. He won't talk." I scream.
All three faces rapidly glance from the chair to me and back to the chair again.
This time Dr. Amun approaches me. "Bella, Edward isn't here. He's not."
"Yes, he is. He's right there, in that very chair. Tell them, Edward, explain things."
Charlie takes me in his arms. "Bella, honey, Edward's dead, he's gone. He can't talk to you or me or anyone. I'm sorry, honey, but he's gone. He died in the accident. He didn't make it; he's gone. He's been gone for over a year now. I'm so sorry, honey, I'm so sorry." Carlisle helps support me as my legs give out. When my eyes open again, I see the empty chair, I see clothes that used to belong to Edward strewn about our room. I see my reflection, and I realize how right Alice was to worry about me. I'm skin and bones, my eyes are flat, and my hair is greasy and hangs limp. I'm not the person I used to be, and apparently, will never will be again because without Edward and our child, I'm nothing but an empty useless shell.
I feel us shift as Carlisle and Charlie take me toward the door. I know without being told where I'm going. I know my fate, and I'm perfectly fine with it. Maybe they can keep me medicated to the point where I won't realize I'm without Edward. Maybe they will take it to the point where I won't even remember Edward. At this point, I don't care; I just know I can't stay here. I can't be where he's not. And it hits me, if he's not here then I don't want to be. I will go where he is.
"Wait, can I get my things?" I speak slowly and calmly.
"Sure, Bella. Gather a few things and we can go." Dr. Amun nods his head as he answers me. I can see he's glad I'm going willingly, so he will make a small concession for me if that's all it takes.
I step into the closet and grab an overnight bag; I move into the bathroom and push the door partially closed. I move things and make rattling noises so they think I'm gathering my things. When I find the pills, I slip the lid off and swallow as many as I can. I know it's more than enough, way more.
"I'm just going to use the bathroom; I'll be right out." They glance my way but continue talking as soon as I finish speaking. The door closes quietly, locks even more quietly. I drop to the ground and wait for Edward to come and take me, take me to where he is. I hope it happens quickly. I want to see him.
It feels like seconds, and yet, at the same time, an eternity later. I feel the brush of his hand against my face. My body is slouched over and almost lying on the cold floor. I don't even care because, finally, Edward is with me.
"Oh, baby, why? I would have waited for you. You didn't have to come to me so soon." His gentle kisses to my forehead are cold. I know for sure, I'm almost gone from this world because Edward was never cold. He was always warm—my warmth, my light.
"I'm sorry. I was weak; I couldn't wait." I offer.
"It's okay. We're together now. I knew forever would never be enough with you." He smirks as he says this, something he's been telling me for years now. Now, we really have forever together. "Come on, meet Andrew." I frown as I stand.
"Andrew?"
His smile is so sweet and loving.
"Andrew, our son."
I gasp. I know there is no way I'm ever leaving this place, wherever we are, because everything I need is here. My husband and my son. I'm finally home with Edward again.
So ... what did you guys think? Sorry it's not an official HEA but it is Halloween so I went in the spirit of the holiday. I did enjoy writing for you guys again so who knows, maybe you might be seeing me again soon.
Till next time...