Disclaimer: I own nothing except the clothes on my back and my car. Okay you didn't need to know that. But if I did own SON it would never stop playing. It would be the longest showing series on TV.
Notes: the songs I used in here are by Kate Voegele . I don't own them. The amazing Kate Voegele does. She's a babe!
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Notes:
(1). Past occurrences are in italic.
(2). I switch between third person's view, Ashley's POV and Spencer's POV. It is clearly marked though so you don't get confused.
(3). This is the first fic I've written so hope it's not too bad.
(4) I know that this is an old song that everyone sings but this is my first fic. Don't go easy and give me criticism. It will be appreciated and might help me write the try better.
(5) This is dedicated to all of my ninja buddies in the Ninja's Mafia. You guys all rock!
Words Unspoken.
Chapter 1.
Sitting at the bar nursing her Jack and Coke, Ashley's mind was blank. Staring at the glass in front of her she didn't even notice Kat walk over and standing in front of her.
"Are you gonna drink that or are you waiting for it to evaporate into your system?"
Ashley quickly looked up at Kat. "It wasn't me." Confused she looked around. "What?" Kat grinned but looked at Ashley with sad eyes.
"Okay, what did you do now? I know that look. You messed something up with someone. Could it be…a certain blonde, blue-eyed hot mama?"
Ashley frowned. "Please don's say 'hot mama' again. It doesn't suit you Kat.
Sighing again the brunette was ontemplating whether or not she should confide in her friend. She decided it might be good to talk about it. "Fine. Yes I fucked up. Bigtime… Do you have a hole in the floor somewhere? You know? A dark and dank place that I can shove my head and hide?"
"So you and Spencer are finally together? That's great!" Kat smiled but then frowned. "Did you cheat on her? Ashley! How could you?"
Raising her hands in defense Ashley quickly corrected Kat. "No, no. To cheat on someone means you have to actually have them." Putting her hands back down Ashley picked up her drink. "No. I would never do that to her anyway even if we were together. Besides, I told you, I don't think she's exactly playing for team Ashley." Thinking this over Ashley added. "She might consider joining team bash-Ashley's-head-in."
Taking a sip from her drink Ashley sighed again. "I'll tell you what I did if you promise not to comment or make any harsh decisions about hanging me from my toes in the rafters. And I would also like to state that I'm an idiot and would so deserve to be hanged from my toes." Gulping down the rest of her drink she motions the bartender to refill.
"You just keep 'em coming and I'll talk." Knowing how hard it really was for the young brunette to confide in anyone, Kat just nodded and refilled Ashley's drink with a little extra kick. She really did love this girl like her own and wanted to know what was bothering her.
Sipping on her second drink Ashley though about where to start. "Okay well as you know Spencer and I've been friends since she came here. That's six months, fifteen days, six hours..." Seeing the look on Kat's face Ashley quickly added, "…I think. Roughly. Maybe. Okay so I've kept track. Sue me they have been the best days of my life."
Taking another gulp Ashley just continued. "As you know I've realized that I'm kinda, sorta maybe in like with her." Kat snorted and started polishing another glass. Ashley narrowed her eyes and then rolled them.
"Okay once again you got me. I'm definitely in like with her." The brunette started getting a glazed over, dreamy look in her eyes. "I mean she's beautiful, funny, hot, smart, sexy, hot, cute… hot…Those eyes, those lips, her ass and br…"
"Ashley! Back to your screw up please." Downing the rest of her drink she mentions for another.
"Fine miss I'm-to-impatient-to-listen-about-Spencer's-hotness. Like I told you the other night I decided not to try anything since I'm not sure how she feels. But three nights ago…"
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"Ash, what's wrong? You've been acting really weird. Did I do something?" Spencer asked softly sitting next to Ashley on her bed. She reached over and put her hand on Ashley's leg in question. The older brunette swallowed hard and shook her head almost violently "N…no Spence. Th…th…nothing's wrong. I'm fine really. Just a little stressed. About school. Yes, school and exams." Ashley quickly got up and walked over to her radio, looking for music that would take her mind off certain things or certain blondes. Laughing Spencer got up. "O come on! You don't care about school…or exams. Why would you be stressed?" She look over at Ashley that was fiddling with her CD collection. Something was up and she was going to find out what it was. Ashley was way to quiet around her these days. She was fidgety, nervous and wouldn't look Spencer in the eye. The blonde knew that Ashley was hiding something but couldn't quite put her finger on it. Thumbing through her music Ashley just picked up a CD and put it in. "There is nothing Spence, seriously. You know that I would tell you. We promised remember?" Hoping that the blonde would let it go Ashley fell on her bed and started paging through the latest issue of Cosmopolitan. Kate Moennig was HOT. "Okay fine! But I know that... What the hell?" Spencer stopped talking as she heard the song that the brunette had put on. "Ashley, you put on Goo Goo Dolls? I thought you didn't like them. You told me that you only played them when…" realization hit the blonde and she was staring at Ashley with big eyes. "… when you either liked someone or if you were falling in love… with… someone." With a deer-caught-in headlights look on her face Ashley jumped up and reached her stereo system within one second flat shutting off the system. "Spence…it's…no…I…" The first thing going through Ashley's mind was 'shit she knows!" Spencer smiled and then smirked. "You're in love? Who is it? When did it happen? Does he or she know? O this is so cool! Who is it?" The blonde was basically jumping up and down with delight. "Tell me, tell me, tell me! Details please." "I swear Spencer there is no one. I just put the wrong CD in. I'm not…in lo…love. You know I don't do love." Ashley tried to cover up. Mentally she was bashing her head against the wall for her stupid mistake. What the hell was she thinking. Spencer looked confused and then hurt. "Ashley, don't lie to me. I know you. Tell me." Ashley couldn't look at Spencer. "I…there is no-one Spence. I promise. Now would you stop bugging me?" Turning around she tried to walk away. The blonde grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled her back against her. The brunette gasped. She couldn't breathe. Looking in Ashley's brown orbs Spencer slowly demanded. "No Ashley. I will not stop bugging you. As my best friend you have an obligation to tell me when you plan on hooking up with someone. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't have feelings for someone. Please tell me you are not lying to my face." Ashley could see that Spencer was getting angry but couldn't keep eye contact with the blonde. "I…there is no one, okay? Why are you being so pushy today? I said drop it." Getting angry herself she pulled free from the blonde she walked towards the bathroom. "I'm tired now and it's getting late Spence." Before she could close the door she saw the anger and hurt in Spencer's eyes. There was something else too but she couldn't quite place it. Spencer walked forward and pushed the door open. "What is up with you? You've been so distant lately. I try to talk and you push me away." Spencer was getting really pissed off at her friend. "Are you on your period? Cause that would explain why you are being a bitch." The brunette froze. She couldn't believe it. "A bitch? You're calling me a bitch? I'm not the one stringing Aiden along like a puppet!" The blonde's eyes narrowed as she hissed. "Don't you dare bring him into this! This is about you not talking to me. Don't change the subject." Ashley stepped closer to the blonde with a smirk, suddenly wanting to push Spencer's buttons. "You are such a tease Spencer. Going out with Aiden, making him all hot for you and then giving him the cold shoulder the next day." She knew that she was crossing a line here but didn't care. "Maybe you have someone else in mind and you're just trying to get them jealous. Do you know what would really get their attention? Sleep with Aiden. Or have you already, huh?" The slap was deafening. The sound hurt more than the actual action. Ashley looked shocked. Spencer looked mortified. "Spencer…I'm so…" "Shut up." It came as a whisper. "Don't talk to me. You… you have no right." Tears were slowly running down both girls faces. The next words out of the blonde's mouth really stung. "Don't bother with the ride. Glen can pick me up. I don't ride with liars and cowards." The blonde grabbed her bag and cell phone and stormed out of Ashley's room, down the stairs and out of the door. Ashley knew when Spencer left because she heard the front door close. To any other person it would be a soft click. To Ashley it was like a gunshot right next to her ear.
"And that's what happened." Ashley slurred a little. She was on her fifth Jack and Coke and a little drunk.
Kat looked over to the young girl and wanted to hug her. "O sweety. I'm sorry that it went down like that. Why didn't you just tell her how you feel?" Reaching over to pat Ashley on the arm Kat continued. "I'm sure she will understand. In fact I'm pretty sure she feels the same."
Ashley looked up sadly. "Well after all the things I said I doubt she would even talk to me." With a small glimmer of hope the usually loud brunette looked at the bartender and her friend, "You really think that she likes me too?"
Kat nodded and smiled. "I'm pretty sure. I'm a bartender and I notice things that other people don't. And if she doesn't then at least you might be able to start getting over it."
Ashley sighed. "But I don't wanna get over it. Even now I get tingles just thinking of her. It's like I can feel her. I think…" She looked up and saw that Kat wasn't looking at here anymore. Slowly she followed the older woman's line of sight. Sucking in air like she would never breathe again, the brunette went numb.
So that's why I have tingles. Blonde hair was about twenty feet away from her. Blue eyes containing a look that the brunette couldn't read were staring straight at her. They were piercing right through her. Quickly Ashley ducked her head. "Shit. Hide me. Where's that hole when you need it?" She mumbled under her breathe.
Kat smiled softly at her favorite customer. "I'm pretty sure she already saw you stupid. Besides, she is walking the other direction towards the middle of the seating area in front of the karaoke stage." Kat stated while refilling the mildly tiddly Ashley's glass once more.
Ashley felt a variety of emotions running through here. First shock, then fear. Finally something else. She stood up boldly and turned towards the stage. "What the fuck am I doing? I am Ashley-fucking-Davies. I go for what I want and get what I want! I'm not fucking sissy. I have to get her back" Quickly sitting down again looking unsure she looks at Kat and whispers sounding like a scared little girl. "What should I do?"
Kat just smiled. "I think you should do what you do best."
Ashley gave Kat a confused look. "Have sex with her? She's not even talking to me. Not that I need her to talk if we're gonna…"
"No miss my-minds-always-in-the-gutter." Kat interrupted Ashley's ramble. "I had something else in mind…"
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Spencer was still a little upset. Chelsea just went to get them drinks because Spencer didn't think she could face Ashley right now. It's been almost four days since she walked out on Ashley. She was really pissed off at her. She knew that her best friend was lying to her and above all the things she said really hurt the blonde. What is bothering the blonde beauty was not the fact that Ashley kept it a secret. No, what bothered her was the fact that her brunette friend still insisted on lying to her even after she knew that Spencer knew.
Then there was the fact that Ashley crossed a line. In fact she crossed the line so far that Spencer didn't think that Ashley could even see the line anymore. The line was a dot to Ashley.
The blonde was slightly frowning just thinking about her friend. And yet I can't stop thinking about her.
"You alright Spencer?" Chelsea's soft voice broke through Spencer's thoughts.
Giving a small smile up at Clay's girlfriend she nodded. "Yeah. My brain is just working over time right now. I have a lot on my mind." Chelsea handed the blonde her drink.
"Kat's here tonight so I got you a Margarita with extra lime and salt. Just the way you like it." Winking at the blond, Chelsea sat down. "And I know just how to get your mind of Ashley."
The blond looked up so quickly that she almost fell off the chair. "What…no…how…Chelsea?" Spencer whined, feeling like a three year old.
The dark beauty just laughed. "O, come on Spence. You have Ashley-face on. I know you. You guys had a fight didn't you? You've been moping for almost four days now. I think if a clown saw you right now you would make him cry. Babies would start screaming and puppies would whimper. Little birds would…"
"I get the picture teenage drama queen!" Chelsea smirked while Spencer sulked.
"Yes we fought but I don't wanna talk about it. Let's just…drink?" The blonde basically inhaled half her drink while pulling a face. "Damn. Did she put half the bottle of 1800 in here? I think my brain is having an alcohol induced-spaz-attack."
Chelsea giggled at the face that Spencer was pulling. "Mmm. Maybe. But I have a better idea." Finally slamming the book she was holding behind her back on the table she smirked again and slyly said the one word that made Spencer want to run far, far away. Maybe to a country with no power and that didn't have music. "Karaoke!"
"NO WAY! You know I suck and don't do public singing. I only sing when I'm in the shower and all alone." Thinking this over the blonde backtracked. "Okay so you wouldn't know how I sucked since you are never there when I shower or if you are we have a serious problem since this means that you have seen me naked which can never be good and…"
Quickly putting her hand over the blonde's mouth Chelsea laughed. "Spencer stop! I have heard you sing and you have a great voice. No it wasn't in the shower so don't give me that look. Now come on. We'll have a couple more drinks and then we'll face your demons. Or the stage if you will."
Before Spencer and Chelsea could page through the book of songs a very familiar voice sounded through the speakers. Spencer froze. Chelsea just smiled knowingly. O here we go! This will either go well or: shit on the right, wall on the left, Ashley in the middle. Splat!
Chapter 2.
A very nervous Ashley was standing on stage with a microphone in her hand.
What the fuck Davies. You sing all the time. It's in your blood. Why are you nervous now? O right! Because you are about to do something stupid as hell. Clearing her throat Ashley nervously stepped into the spotlight.
"Hey guys. How is everyone? Great. Okay. Uhm… anyway… yeah so I came up here to sing." Giggling nervously and a little drunk Ashley continued. "Well obviously. Anyway, so I'm going to sing a song that tells… I'm not sure what it tells but it is what I need to say. I screwed up. There is someone that is very close to my heart and I fu…messed things up. I hurt this person and I don't know why."
Taking a step forward Ashley got a little braver, mostly due to the half bottle of Jack Daniels running through her system. "I'm not very good with words when it comes to my feelings so I'll just sing. I hope that this person will give me a chance and please just listen. I have a question and hopefully this will get me an answer."
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As the music started Spencer's blood ran cold in her veins. She's heard this song before in Ashley's house but has never really paid any attention to the words. Listening intently to the words she almost forgot to breathe as she heard them and let them flow over her. Now it's official I've lost my Got my permission to
I break away from every situation
like this one most times baby
But since you been round here I've given in,
my dear, to your captivation daily
Ashley's voice was shaking as she sung the words. She was looking everywhere but at Spencer. She was yearning to see those blue eyes but didn't have the guts yet.
I'm not the type who gets voted most likely
to be victimized by those old butterflies but
You're the exception your love is infectious,
and the fever is climbing high
As she got closer to the chorus, the brunette let the words wash over her. She felt the power of her emotions take over and moved her eyes to look straight at the blonde that had her so nervous.
Well I hope you don't mind if I fall asleep on your shoulder
Now turn out the lights and let the night begin
And I hope it's alright if you're still mine when we're older
Cause I won't spend another day wondering what might have been
Spencer was going insane. She couldn't breathe. She was shaking. Hearing the chorus flowing from Ashley's lips was making her shiver in shock and a rush of other emotions. She looked at the stage and ocean blue eyes found brown orbs. Seeing all the emotion there even from the distance she was at Spencer gasped.
I was so cynical just inconvincible,
nobody seemed worth trusting
But sure enough just when I'd near given up
you appeared there among the destruction
initial suspicions and skepticism
You got me caving in; feeding the craving,
I see now what I've been missing
With the second repetition of the chorus Ashley put all the emotion that she had in her voice. She had to let Spencer know. Make her understand that she never meant for anything bad to happen. She loved her.
Well I hope you don't mind if I fall asleep on your shoulder
Now turn out the lights and let the night begin
And I hope it's alright if you're still mine when we're older
Cause I wont spend another day wondering what might have been
Break the tradition
No limited editions
This is a persistent
Change of disposition
No more inhibitions
I don't wanna spend my life wishing
Before the song even faded away Spencer was gone. She moved so fast that Ashley didn't even see where she went. Dropping the microphone on the table, the brunette shuffled back to the bar where Kat had a drink waiting for her. A strong one.
She sat down, drank it in one go and motioned for another. Okay so the part where Spencer came to her after the song and they talked was obviously not gonna happen. Drinking till I can't stand is the only option left.
Chapter 3
I can't breathe! Fuck! Air…lungs…help. Spencer was hyperventilating. Badly. A cool hand on her back soothed her and someone handed her a brown paper bag. Due to the spots in front of her eyes she couldn't really make out who it was.
"Thanks," was all that the blonde could get out after finally getting her breathe back. She sat down on the crate and leaned back against the wall. Finally she looked up at her savior.O no. This can't be good.
"Uh, hey Aiden. Fancy meeting you here in the…back alley of … Grey's. Whatcha doing?" Spencer felt a little weird and didn't really know what to do.
Aiden smiled his golden boy smile that made all the girls drool. "O, you know. Having some drinks, listening to some music, saving damsels in distress. A little of this and a little of that." He smirked over at the blonde who was beginning to resemble a lobster due to the redness taken over her face.
"Yeah, thanks for that by the way. Don't know what happened. Just needed… some air suddenly." Spencer wasn't sure what to do with herself. She got up and started walking back towards the club. The boy's next words stopped her though.
"O I know what happened." Aiden gave a crooked smile that was typical Aiden. One that said he knew a secret that nobody else knew.
"You were sitting with Chelsea, Ashley belted out a song and declared her love for you and you ran." He laughed at the expression on the blondes face. "Yeah, don't look at me like that. I saw everything. Why'd you run? I thought you two… you know."
Spencer slowly lifted the paper bag she was still holding back to her mouth and started breathing into it… again. "idnt…tkn..bot"
Aiden frowned but laughed. "What? Sorry but the paper bag you are inhaling couldn't get the words out. Repeat please."
Spencer shuffled from her left to her right foot and took the bag away from in front of her face. "I said, I don't know what you're talking about. I just needed some fresh air. The smoke…and…music…too much."
The brunette boy slowly walked over to the blonde. "I…" A sudden crash through the door cut of what Aiden was about to say. Chelsea burst through the door and looked panicked.
"Thank goodness. There you are. You freaked me out girl!" Chelsea grabbed Spencer by the arms, looked her up and down and then crushed the blonde to her. "Are you okay? You got up and ran so fast it took me almost two minutes to realize you were gone. Hey Aiden."
Having his name thrown in so casually kind of had the boy a little stumped. "He…hey Chelsea. How you doing?" Ever the gentleman Aiden offered a quick wave and a smile. " I don't mean to be rude but do you mind if I have a word with Spencer for a little bit? There is something I've been meaning to talk to her about."
Chelsea looked between the two of them and then straight at Aiden. His eyes were pleading with her. "Sure, no problem. I'll be inside Spence. Don't be too long. Bye Aiden." The ebony beauty quickly turned on her heel and walked back inside.
Spencer still wasn't exactly sure what just happened. I really hope he's not gonna ask me out again. No wait before we were interrupted he was talking bout me and Ashley… Shit!
"So…"
The blond was pulled from her thoughts by Aiden's voice. "Aiden…"
Quickly the boy raised his hands. "No Spencer. Please let me finish. I've wanted to say this for a while now. Just let me talk without interrupting. Okay?"
The blonde nodded and nervously sat back down on the crate. Aiden pulled up a crate and sat down next to her. "When I asked you out and you said yes, I was so happy and excited. I've always liked you because you are different. When we were alone you were caring and loving. You made me feel like I deserved you." Aiden sighed and looked away.
"The last time I felt something like this was with Ashley. I've also noticed that when we are with Ashley you act… different. You are more open and happy. You laugh and smile a lot more. So does she." Aiden looked at Spencer. "She is in love with you Spencer. I can see that. I've never seen her like this over anyone. Not even me…"
Spencer sighed. "Aiden…"
Aiden shook his head and placed his hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Hold on. Let me finish. The other thing I've noticed is that you are exactly the same with her. The most simple touch from her and you smile brighter than the sun. I've seen the way you look at her. The only reason I keep trying is because I was hoping that I was wrong. But it is obvious I wasn't. You two… you should be together. I've realized this a while back and I'm happy for both of you."
That threw Spencer off a bit. She was not in love with Ashley, was she? No it couldn't be. Shaking her head she stood up from her position. "You're wrong Aid. I don't feel that way about her. We're… we're just friends. Best friends." The blonde was slightly shaking now.
"I'm just happy to have a friend like her. But…"
Aiden sighed and took Spencer by the shoulder. "Listen to me. I know this might be hard for you but just think about it. Have you ever just wanted to…" turning slightly pale Aiden let go of Spencer. "…hold her a little longer when you hug her or, I don't know… kiss her?" I know those feelings Spencer. I've had them. I see them in the two of you. When she touches you on the arm or hand her touch always lingers just a little longer."
He turned and walked towards the door. Stopping and turning back towards his friend he softly whispered. "Just think about it. Don't hurt her Spence. She's been through enough." Aiden silently entered the door while Spencer stood there gaping.
Quickly Spencer ran after Aiden and grabbed him by the arm. She pulled him into the girls bathroom where two girls burst into giggles and ran out the door snickering. Spencer just rolled her eyes.
"What the hell Aiden? Where do you get off saying shit like that to me and then just leaving?" The blonde was pissed and Aiden knew it. Inside he knew that this was exactly what she needed.
"Wow chill out girl. Cool your heels." Seeing the blonde getting angrier, the boy chuckled then turned more serious.
"You know that everything I said is true Spencer."
"But…"
"No butt's! I…"
"Aiden! I'm. Not. Gay." Spencer burst out with a pained expression. She sighed and walked over to the sink to look in the mirror staring at herself.
Aiden looked at his friend who was leaning against the sink. He walked over to her and turned her around so she could look at him. Reluctantly the blonde turned her body and glared at Aiden but she obviously had little power left to argue.
"Spencer. You don't have to be gay to love a girl. I love girls and I'm not!" He smirked as he said the last sentence trying to get her to smile.
He got the right reaction. In spite of herself, Spencer laughed. "No Aid, you're just gay!"
Aiden feigned hurt. "Oi! Never!" He laughed easily with Spencer.
"But seriously Spence. Don't you remember when you just got here you told me that you aren't into labels? Where is that girl? Being gay shouldn't even be a problem right?" Taking both Spencer's hands into his Aiden looked deep into her blue orbs seeing the fear hidden there.
"It's about who you love and not what body parts they have. What are you scared of?" Aiden gently edged the blonde to respond.
Spencer wasn't sure what to do.
"Well, I've never felt anything for another girl. Ashley is different. It's not like with my boyfriends or with you. It's…"
"Electrifying?" Aiden finished.
Spencer gave a shy smile. "Yeah. I'm just… my family. My mom. What would they say?" The blonde started tearing up.
Not knowing where all this wisdom was coming from, Aiden just knew what to say.
I must have been Yoda in my previous life. What the hell is going on with me? I'm just full of good intentions and wisdom tonight. I better get some good karma for this cause it's breaking my heart. I hate my life. That's two girls now.
Smiling softly at the blonde the boy took her hands in his again.
"It shouldn't matter Spencer. If you feel like about her then there is nothing you can do. Well, not nothing…"
Spencer laughed and swatted Aiden on the arm. "Perve. Go on."
Aiden shrugged. "You guys were meant to be. Everyone can see that. A blind person could see that. A dead person could see that. A…"
"Okay, okay! I get the picture. I'm blind and stupid." The blonde sighed for the millionth time that night.
"What do I do Aid? I think I really fucked up. I… If only I listened to my heart instead of my head. Or my feet and didn't run. I'm just so scared and confused."
Aided just hugged his friend. "I have an idea. She asked you a question tonight. How bout you give her an answer? But first we need to fix you up. You look like you've been chased by a pack of wild dogs."
Spencer frowned. Ashley asked a question? When? The blonde shook her head. "When did she ask a question? I didn't hear one."
Aiden smiled and shook his head. "Go figure Spence! I say you look like shit and all you hear is 'Ashley'. Did you even listen to the song she sang? We really have some work to do with you. Now come on! We need to get you ready for you big appearance." Smiling evilly Aiden walked over to the sink.
Spencer swallowed and couldn't help but think that whatever Aiden had planned would not be good.
"How do you plan on letting me make my big appearance?"
Aiden gave an evil grin and replied with a hint of laughter in his voice. "The only way that Ashley Davies will actually understand. You have to speak her language to get her to listen."
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