I

Another Night

Another sleepless night. Another night full of silent sobs and choked regrets. Another night with ears fine tuned to any sounds from downstairs. Hoping with each heart beat to hear the creak of the cupboard by the fridge and the clearing of a throat. Daniel knew he would not hear it. With a small sigh he gently shoved the slim arm away that wrapped around him, holding him in bed, in this mundane mediocrity. With silence he had learned through years of patrolling, he slipped out of the blankets and made his way to the door without a sound. Save for the echoed sigh that fell from his lips as he stood in the doorway looking at the alien in his bed.

Laurie. Once upon a time he loved her. He longed for her and felt an amazing surge of life each time she pressed her full, lipstick covered mouth against his naked, naive one. Each time she touched his chest, his shoulder, was in his breathing space, he felt at home. Now he didn't know her. He didn't know why he wished for Jon's exile so he could have Laurie in his arms. He didn't love her.

He shook his head. And ran his hand through his wavy, brown hair. He still cared for her, right? After all he offered her half of his bed, half of his home, half of his life. He didn't think about kicking her out, asking her to leave or simply breaking up. He must care. He must love her.

Because he had no one else...

"Fuck" he breathed as he wandered down the stairs and into the dark kitchen. His eyes shut tight as he flipped on the switch, shrinking his pupils. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, he wondered why he was there. Why did he leave the bed? The warm contentment he shared with that woman had become almost a suffocating heat. A mugginess he did not enjoy.

His hand lingered in front of a cupboard over the microwave, and he slowly creaked it open. Looking through tearing up eyes at a brown bottle of whiskey. " just a little...? to ease the pain?" he muttered. He shut his eyes, shook his head and allowed his hand to grab a glass beside the bottle and slam the door. He downed two glasses of water, in some sort of attempt to drown the sobs he had been holding for months now.

"Dan?" Laurie's voice wrapped around his neck "what's wrong?"

Daniel breathed deep and faked a smile before turning to her. "Just thirsty. Sleeping with the window open always dries my throat out" he turned and filled the glass once more to prove his point. Whatever that may be.

Laurie leaned on the doorway, a small, sleepy smile on her face. She bought it. She bought every time he said he was ok. She was not able, or simply not willing, to see past his fake smile and simple laugh. She wasn't like Ror-

"Come one, Dan" she wrapped her fingers around the sleeve of his pyjama shirt "Let's go back upstairs".

The realization that she wanted him to make love to her hit him like a fist in the stomach. The icy cold water sloshed in his stomach and he winced. The last time he had really made love to her was that night, in Archie. The night of the fire in the apartment building, when he became Nite Owl once more. The night they saved his partner...

Since that night he was unable to see her the same. Trying to make love to her just ended up in a simple fuck and her falling asleep on his arm. She misread it as a cuddle. She misread it as love.

He bit his lip and smiled at her once more. An attempt to look sexy? He didn't even know. He allowed her to lead him up the stairs, back to the room he tried so hard to escape.

Without resistance, he was pushed onto the bed, feeling a slight breeze as his shirt was pulled open. His nipples perked gently from the stray wind, and Laurie took this as a good sign. She crawled on top of him. He felt like a corpse about to be ripped to shreds by some carnivorous beast. She kissed his torso, working her way up to his gently fleshy cheeks, finally making her way to his lips.

His mind was everywhere but in the bedroom. Thinking about months ago in the blowing snow, in Karnack. Screaming on his knees. Hours before, shaking hands with his partner, his best friend.

Laurie was straddling his hips know. Kissing him passionately, he kissed back, and rested his hands on her hips. Voluntary movements, scripted, and meaningless. He felt his hips lift and rub against Laurie. Shit. He bit his lip as Laurie traced kisses on his neck and throat. Fuck. He thought, he closed his eyes, trying to focus on the limp flesh between his legs. Get up! He growled in his mind. No good.

Laurie would certainly notice, and get angry, probably insult his manhood or compare him to Jon as she had done a few times since Karnack. He though deeply about what to do, how to fix this and let her just have her fuck and go back to sleep.

Laurie began to grind, then stopped, looking at him with disappointment "Really?"

He had to. He had to fantasize, he imagined Laurie in her black and yellow latex costume, her hair slung over one side. Landing punches on gang members faces, through skulls. There we go, he was growing harder now. Imagining that amazing, shining costume.

Laurie smiled and kissed him hard and began grinding against him, harder this time.

"Oh Daaaan" she moaned rubbing his chest.

"Si-Silk Spectre—" his eyes shot open as he uttered the last syllable and he watched as her face turn into a look a disgust, anger and hurt.

"You asshole!" she slapped him through the face and crawled off of him, turning on the light and grabbing some jeans and a shirt.

"Laurie! I'm sorry.. It ... I just.."

"Save it" she snapped back, her hair flipping with her voice. She was getting dressed now. She was leaving now. He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, shirt open, looking like an idiot and feeling even worse.

"Where are you going?" he asked in a small voice, not looking at her.

"Out" she said quickly as she disappeared into the hall. A moment later he heard the front door slam. His heart sank.

He was alone.