Just a sad little post scene after last night's episode. FYI, I'll be undergoing surgery tomorrow and have no idea if I'll be writing more or less during the recovery. I'll just have to see how it goes. Hopefully, will be back to my stories very soon :)

xxxxx

As Callen drove, he unsuccessfully tried to contain his emotions which were all over the place. It had been a trying day for more than one reason. First of all, the appearance of Brian Bush had rattled him more than he would have admitted to anyone, bringing thoughts of his father back into the forefront. Of course, the team knew he'd been bothered, especially Sam, but they didn't really know just how much he'd been affected. Then there had been the reappearance of Joelle which had brought back more feelings than he knew what to do with.

The day had gone on as most days did, he'd been able to push his feelings aside and concentrate on the case which they'd been able to conclude successfully and the prince had safely been sent on his way back to Saudi Arabia. Callen had then been able to return Joelle back home as well.

Once they arrived at Joelle's home, they had spent a long time talking to each other in Callen's car. When she had asked him about his father, he had talked more about it to her than he had to anyone, even Sam. She had listened to him intently and he knew she hadn't been pretending to be interested. Her concern about what had happened to his family had been genuine and it had felt good to talk to her about it.

As they talked, his past feelings returned with an intensity that surprised him. He had managed to push those feelings aside long ago, but now they were back as strong as ever. For a brief, selfish moment he thought about kissing her and asking her to come back into his life, but she had a family and it wasn't something he would ever do. He knew how important family was and that was something he could never interfere with.

Instead, he let her go... back to her family, back to her life...

After leaving Joelle, he considered calling his partner, but it was just a momentary flicker of a thought. Sam had been really worried about him since Mexico and he didn't want to say or do anything that would serve to increase his concerns. It just wouldn't be fair. He thought about getting something to eat, but nothing really appealed to him so he decided just to head home or rather to the boat shed. He still missed his house and he felt more displaced than ever, at least not since he was a boy, bouncing from home to home in the foster care system, with no family and no real place to call his own. Now, those feelings were back with a vengeance. Even when he moved into Deeks' place, it still wouldn't really be his own. It would just be a temporary place to stay until he had the time and motivation to look for something more permanent.

When he arrive at the boat shed, he slowly got out of his car. His back was stiff and sore after the long day spent mostly on his feet. He went into the shed and pulled a bottle of cold water from the fridge, then headed directly upstairs to the bedroom. He changed into shorts and a t-shirt, took some ibuprofen, then climbed in between the cool sheets. After he had situated himself, he turned on the heating pad which had served as a constant source of pain relief ever since he had injured his back. He then laid down and let the heating pad begin to perform its magic.

While the heating pad could help what physically ailed him, his emotions were an entirely different story. Once again, he started thinking about his father, wondering where he was and how he was doing, if he was even still alive. He then thought about his mom and sister who were no longer with him and his other sister who was alive but wanted nothing at all to do with him.

Sam had his children, Kensi and Deeks had each other as did Eric and Nell and he had no idea where Hetty was. One lone tear slowly trickled down his cheek followed shortly after by more. He allowed himself a few minutes to wallow, once again thinking about Joelle and wondering how her family reunion had gone. Today had brought back a lot of memories and feelings and he missed her more than he would have thought was possible.

After 20 minutes, he turned off the heating pad and made himself as comfortable as he could. Still feeling very much alone, he closed his eyes then eventually drifted off to sleep.