A/N

here goes another attempt at fanfiction by yours truly, this is rated M mostly for sensitive material and violence, this may change later but I will give further warnings if and when the time comes

disclaimer: shit kicker boots? Check. Cell phone? Check. Naruto series and merchandise , nope. I don't own numb nuts. This will probably be the only disclaimer so ,deal.

It wasn't easy, and that was an understatement. But that's not why I did it. I can deal with tough shit when it comes my way. I always have, Being born into an elite family as a defect, I dealt with it just fine. In a world full of arrogant self assured, borderline conceited cocky brutes, I was a stuttering blushing mess. I cant be sure if I still am. What I did, it may have changed that. I could be completely different now. My thought process has changed dramatically. Speaking of thoughts, I haven't heard from my better half for a while.

I'm guessing you are wondering what I'm talking about, and most importantly who the hell I am.

Well, a wise man never wears a nametag. And I don't usually give my name, partly because I'm ashamed, but also because…names open hearts. But hell, I'm already fucked beyond human comprehension so why not seal the deal.

My name is Hinata Shirayuki Hyuuga

That's right; I'm the heiress to the prestigious Hyuuga clan. Isn't it beautiful?

I'm 15 years of age; whether old or young truly depends on your personal perception.

And my 'better half' is one of my many personal burdens.

Asari my mental disability, my best friend, the voice in my head.

"Hinata Hyuuga?" ugh, fucking nurses interrupting me. Yes that's right, I'm at a hospital, and I suppose since I basically told you I am a nut bar your not at all surprised. But I'm not in a mental hospital, well not yet.

I stare up at the nurse with a look that I imagine says something along the lines of 'who else dumbass?'

"we have a psychiatrist here to asses you" she opened the door further and a short balding man with stubby fingers, -I hate stubby fingers- and chest hair protruding from is ostentatious burgundy floral shirt –I also hate chest hair, and those tacky shirts.- entered the room.

He pulled up a chair in front of me and in a heavy Egyptian accent introduced himself .

"hello miss hinata, I am doctor ramun." He held out his hand for me to shake. I looked down at him then back at his face with an eye brow quirked.

"okay then, down to business I see. So tell me, why did you start doing this and when?" He gestured to me.

This is the part I am forced to tell you exactly what I did so you wont be lost.

Well, for starters, I locked myself inside the bathroom. I took an industrial razorblade and cut myself all over my body, save for my face, with as much aggression my body could muster.

Then, while I was soaked in my own blood, I proceeded to take a prescription bottle of anti-psychotics I had found in Anko-sensei's purse, I swallowed as many that were in the bottle, it was a lot because it took me a few minutes till I finally got them down.

Then, I got dizzy, and fall down go boom.

I guess my sister Hanabi found me by picking the lock with a pen, and called 911. they said I was out for a good two weeks before I was brought back into the world that is here.

I sighed deeply before I began to talk.

"I felt like it." I then had to stop myself from smirking at his dumfounded expression.

"lets try to be honest and open so I can help you yes?" ugh, his accent was annoying.

I sighed exasperated.

"I hear voices, well one voice, I'm depressed. My dad beats me. I've been contemplating suicide for the last three years. It seemed like an okay time. My mind is fading, and lines are blurring. That's all you get."

He nodded, did he even know what I just said. Idiot.

It was an hour later when they had me strapped into a wheelchair bringing me to the psyche ward. The baka Egyptian yutz, decided I needed "close observations" and that I was a "Severe suicide risk" how he got that much I don't know. I hardly told him shit. I could have gone on, and on, and on.

Once I arrived at the stupid place where I would be taking residence in for who knows how long, I decided to take in my surroundings. The walls, white.

The furniture, didn't match. And the people, there was none.

Appearently my question could be read on my face.

"every one is either in group or outside."

I nodded in understanding and looked up at the nurse expectantly. She stared back at me through stupid dull brown eyes.

"where. Is. My. Room?" my patients, were wearing non existent.

"oh right this way miss hyuuga!" she ushered my down a hall to a room numbered "333" hmm… 3 my favorite number…

"now your stuff has already been gone through so that everything that your sister and cousin brought for you was deemed safe. You can stay in your room for a while and get used to everything or come out, the rest of the patients should be back within a few moments. Oh and if you need something don't be afraid to ask shizune, she's the nurse on duty."

And she went on and on. I nodded obediently until she left where I promptly gracelessly plopped onto the hard cardboard feeling bed. This was going to be hell.

Was there something wrong with that nurses head? Why would I care when the nuts would be back? Why would I want to spend time with a bunch of… people that were probably just like me…

I groaned loudly tugging at my short hair as I fell onto my back.

I decided then that I should take a nap, even if I spent the last two weeks asleep.

I crawled under the stiff blankets and attempted to fluff the lumpy pillow. I sighed in defeat when I realized the closest I would get to comfortable would be if I zoned.

I called it zoning, or my zombie/ghost state. When that happens, I feel like a ghost, sitting in my body as it goes through motions and says things, while I'm completely unaware whats happening. I just see my hands deftly moving, I can hear my voice, but its like I'm not the one making my vocal cords vibrate with air.

Infact, I don't even realize if I stop breathing.

Then there's when I have those fucked up anxiety attacks. The wonderful thing about having more than one mind, you can be thinking about something and not even realize your thinking about it, and that thought can send me falling to the floor, writhing squirming like a worm, gasping for air and clawing at everything, including my own skin.

At times like those, its like times seizes to exist, its just a mere word, like everything else, Meaning nothing unless you decide to put meaning into it.

I sat up and pulled a sweater out of the trunk on the floor, it was deep purple with lavender lilies on it and white roses. I folded the sweater and placed it on top of the god forsaken pillow. It was a slight upgrade. I let my eyes flutter shut and welcomed unconsciousness with open arms.

I woke up what I assumed to be at night, although I had no way of telling just what time it really was. The only way I knew it was night was because looking outside of my caged in window, -wow the patients must really hate it here- I noticed the moon was up and the sky that stunning shade of midnight blue. Usually I would take the time to admire this setting, but as it was, my throat was dry and I recalled seeing a water dispenser at the end of the hall.

Groggily I opened my door, the lights were dim but still enough to hurt my un adjusted eyes, so I closed them and felt my way along the hallway with my fingers.

I was about to turn the corner ran I ran into something hard. I opened my eys and gasped.

I was met with a cold glare of teal, no that wrong, there was no way to describe, no colour that could possibly get the right shade of these eyes. They were surrounded by a purple black, like they had been bruised. However I know from experience that the more likely cause was insomnia.

"gomen." It was half assed. But I felt half assed.

"hn." Wow, he was talkative. But against my better judgment I decided to strike up conversation, I might aswell get used to the people in here, I think I'd be spending a lot of time here.

"is there like…a curfew here? For being in your room and what not?" he looked at me like I was stupid.

"yes." He took a step back seeing as we were still standing far too close. This was botha bonus, and a downfall. He was gorgeous. His hair was a brilliant scarlet hue that reminded me of the colour of my blood when it stained everything in my bathroom. And his voice, it was deep. It was…unexplainable.

"then why are you up?" I quirked my eye brow, challenging him, if he's a guy, no guy can resist a challenge, its pheromones…or something.

He quirked an eye brow aswell, wait. No, he didn't have eyebrows. Strange.

"because I can."

I scoffed. That was…stupid well, did I actually expect anyone with an I.Q high enough to graduate high school in this place?

"so…you don't sleep? Neither do I, not usually. I'm –no never mind names are unimportant, I'm new."

"I can tell."

I nodded; I was running out of things to say. He turned and walked sitting on one of the black horribly outdated well worn arm chairs this dingy room had to offer. And I accompanied him sitting on a chair opposite his. It was comfier than my bed. Sad.

"Why are you sitting there?" the way he said it made it sound like it wasn't a question, like this chair was condemned and I was the idiot who sat in it.

"Because I can" I mocked his earlier choice of words.

"That's not a reason."

"It worked for you."

"Maybe I just didn't want to talk to you." That was harsh. And it did its job it shut me up, for a few minutes.
"Where are you from?"

"With Charlie the fucking unicorn would you leave me alone!?" his voice raised an octave, and if I had any sense of self preservation, I would shut the fuck up and do as he said. Sadly, I don't.

"hmm, no sadly; I have nothing better to do. And I need something to bide my time until I slip."

He raised one of his should be there but isn't eyebrows, and it was bugging me, I decided to ask him about that, later.

"slip?" he asked, his voice not giving any sense of curiousity- or any other emotion really.

"yeah, I go into a state where I'm here, but not. Its like I'm not in control of my body. I can to everything mandatory of me but I cant remember doing it. It makes time pass with less of a hassle. I call it being a ghost." I explained with a voice just as void of emotion as his own, oh Neji would be proud. Neji is my cousin by the way, but more about him later.

"intresting." Funny, he didn't sound the least bit interested.

"however that hardly sounds like a reason for you to be here."

"its not" I let a small smirk play on my lips before I stretched and stood, walked to the water dispencer, filled a paper cup and made my way back to bed. Hopefully they had the decency to bring me a few good books. If not, I'm sure hanabi will visit soon enough.

Okay, first chapter, its short, but this is based some what on my life so some of it is hard to write, both emotionally, and in a way where I would have to turn this into something readable…if I can manage.

So… tell me what you think because I am a review-sensitive authoress.

I need reviews to write.

I'll get started on the next chapter tomorrow, and I'll post after lets say about 5 reviews?

Oh, flames, they make me laugh. So go ahead and send.

[ if someone tells me I don't know what a hospital is like I spent a month in own so you can eat me =)]