Big Girls Don't Cry
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
Cuz I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret world
From "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie
From the sounds able to be heard through the curtain, the local coffeehouse was full to bursting. She heard Molly announce the "feature presentation", which was followed by a storm of applause. That was her cue, and, with butterflies exploding in the pit of her stomach, Kira Ford took the stage.
Even more applause, if that were possible. Kira plopped down on the bar stool and rested her guitar on her lap. The audience fell completely silent as Kira strummed the first few chords of her song.
The coffeehouse allowed her a set of fifteen minutes every Thursday when Talent Night rolled around. It was all very bohemian, music and coffee, and Kira loved every second of it. She was playing her music, reaching out to everyone who came in…and Thursdays were always crowded. Molly swore it was Kira who brought them in, which Kira politely denied, even though it was true. One day, the right producer was bound to come in and discover her.
Tonight, though, it was just the audience, and that was fine. When she got off the stage at the end of her set, Kira realized someone was waiting for her, someone who could be waiting for her and her alone.
Conner McKnight was standing at the counter, grinning at her and holding a bouquet of sunflowers.
Not even wondering what he was doing in New York City, Kira threw her arms around him. He held her close too, and then leaned down and kissed her cheek. "You were awesome, Kir," he said. "Really."
"Thanks. What are you doing here, Conner?" she questioned, ducking over to the other side of the counter and rummaging around for a vase.
The former red ranger shrugged. "I got your email about you having a set every Thursday night." He held out the sunflowers to her.
Kira smiled. "These are beautiful, Conner." She removed the wrapping and dunked them into the half-filled vase. "I really missed you."
"I missed you too."
The two former rangers were suddenly struck dumb. They were best friends; surely a reunion was not supposed to be this awkward…
"Old friend, Kir?" asked Molly, who had appeared out of nowhere. She flipped some stray blond strands over her shoulder and winked.
"Get back to work, Molly," Kira ordered with an apologetic glance to Conner. "Can I get two strawberry milkshakes to go?" she added pointedly.
"Coming right up, doll."
Conner watched the scene unfolding between his friend and the waitress with an amused smile. He was quite used to being flirted with, but unless it was his imagination, Kira seemed a little ticked with her friend for taking part in it as well. Interesting…very interesting.
And supposing he was reading Kira's expression correctly? She had relocated all the way across the country to New York, trying to get a record deal. He, on the other hand, was still at home in Reefside, taking classes at the local university (with help from Dr. O and Ethan on every paper that came along, mind you) and trying to get the soccer program up and running. It wasn't exactly like either of them were in the same place for the same reason.
She was staring at him now, brandishing a Styrofoam cup that could only hold the milkshake she'd ordered for him. "Conner…let's take a walk, OK?"
He found himself nodding and following her out into the New York night. It was a fairly nice night, temperature wise. A jacket was hardly necessary, but, as Kira told him, the leather made him look like a native.
"I really wasn't expecting to see you tonight, Conner," she said quietly. She took a long sip of her milkshake and looked at him from the corner of her eye.
"I missed you, too, Kira," he replied simply. "I needed to see you, I guess."
A pair of tawny eyes bore into him. "I was planning on coming home for the summer, you knew that."
He did something then that Kira had never seen him do before: he bit his lip in concentration. "We both know there could be more between us, Kira. I couldn't get it out of my head, really. And then the next thing I knew I was headed to the airport and buying a ticket for the next plane to New York. There doesn't always have to be a reason for a visit, you know. I might pop in on you unexpectedly."
He was trying to make light of the situation, Kira knew it. She wasn't sure why she had needed to sound so accusing with Conner; she should be happy to see him.
She was, wasn't she? Of course Kira missed Reefside; everything she held dear was there. Her parents, Dr. O, Hayley, Trent, Ethan. Conner.
But now Conner was here, in the city, needing to see her. And while Kira had missed him so much it kind of hurt, something was about to change. Kira could feel it, and whatever Conner needed to tell her was going to change everything between them.
"I know you know there is possibility for us, Kir. I heard your song tonight, and that finalized it. Don't try telling me that it wasn't for me, because I know it was," he added, correctly interpreting the look on her face.
Rarely had Kira seen him this way, so serious about something that wasn't soccer related. Where was the lovable moron she knew so well?
"Conner…" Kira said slowly. Words were lost on her though, after she'd uttered his name. There was no way she could explain what it was she was feeling and get it right.
So she turned and ran in the opposite direction.
Conner hadn't been enhanced with super speed for nothing, however. He caught her easily, touching a hand to her shoulder and then cradling her gently against his chest. "Kir?" he asked softly.
"I am not going to cry," she answered, more to herself than to Conner. "I'm not."
"OK."
"I don't need you to save me."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"Why do you do this to me?"
"Do what?"
She looked up at him, and pulled away. "Everything was fine until you showed up."
This time she didn't let her catch him. "Big girls don't cry," she told herself. Hmm. Sounded like a song.
It was nothing more than a waste of time, Conner noted bitterly. A waste of time and money to go all the way to New York to try to figure out exactly what was between him and Kira.
He brooded uncharacteristically all the way back to his parents' house, sincerely hoping he'd never have to see her again. She'd broken him so easily.
As he rounded the corner, he noticed a familiar figure sitting on the sidewalk. How had she gotten here before him?
"Big girls don't cry," she said as he got out of his car. "But they don't let their guys get away from them, either."
She threw her arms around him. "I love you Conner. I will never be so afraid of that again, I promise."