"What a beautiful day this is." She thought to herself as she gazed at her very blank journal. "The birds are high up swimming around in the ocean of sky blue hue and are chirping so loud. The grass is very a vibrant shade of green and dancing to the movement of the wind. There's not even a single sight of a cloud in the sky. I'd love to get – " Her thoughts were cut off and her mischievous smirk disappeared.
"You ignorant child, get down from that tree this instant. You have several chores to do. You do not have time to waste by sitting on a tree branch and get lost in lousy daydreams." Her horrid step-mother demanded. "Have you washed the windows?" "Yes, 'mother' of mine, I have." She replied with a sarcastic tone in her voice that showed she was highly annoyed and continued to talk. Clare hated her step-mother. She's always found her to be quite of a bitch. "Before you ask me another pointless question, I've also: finished painting the fence, feed the annoying chickens, cleaned out all of the stables in the barn, put the sheep in their stables, and gave the dogs a bath. Is there anything I'm missing?" The girl wasn't expecting for her step-mother to say anything. She convinced herself that she did do everything on her 'to do' list.
"Did you feed the rabbits, Clare?" With that question, the girl's eyes widened. She completely forgot about the rabbits. She was unsure on what to do, she could lie and attempt to get away with it or speak the truth. Did it matter? Either way she was going to get hit. A lovely bruise will go across her face all because she forgot. Another lie will be told to her father when he asks about the new marking on her gorgeous face. She snapped out of her thoughts and closed her eyes that were flooded with tears. Her step-mother's hand went across her innocent face, and down fell the child. The victim picked herself up quickly, grabbed her journal along with her pen, and ran away. She taught herself to never look back after something awful occurred. "There's nothing worth living for in this world anymore. There hasn't been after my mother passed away." Clare thought to herself as she sat down and created a journal entry.
Date: August 19th, 1998
No one understands me here. I'm just a waste of space. I wish I was the one that died instead of my mother. My mother was the one who made sure I was tucked in at night, and assured me that I was safe and sound from the crimes in this unstable world. She was my world and I loved her with all of my heart. To this day, I still love her and crave for her hugs and kisses on the forehead. When she left me to enjoy her paradise, my world crumbled and corrupted. Everything changed and there's nothing I could to do change it, except let the darkness consume my mind and soul. In order for me to change things in my life, I need hope… and in my life there is no existence of the word "hope".
I hate my step-family. My step-mother is ignorant and only cares for her-self and children. I wish I could just demolish her. No wonder her daughters never come home and see her. She only married my father because of his money. I was happy in the city, you know? My father and I were well known and I had plenty things to obligate myself with. When my father brought home that selfish excuse of a woman, my heart shattered into a million pieces. What really sent me over the edge is that they were too intoxicated to realize that I was in the living room. They slide over an arm of the couch and began to explore each other's bodies. Like usual an action like that led to a next, and I was standing there frozen in fear witnessing my father make love to another women that wasn't my mother. I felt like vomiting, the pit in my stomach was causing me to choke up. Before I knew it a bottle of liquor was thrown across the room and shattered on impact with the wall. What seemed like a normal sexual encounter turned into a hateful argument that forced me to run into my room where I laid in my bed with my hears covered and eyes closed shut.
Honestly: If I had a world of my own, everything will be nonsense. Nothing will be what it is, because everything will be what it isn't. And contrariwise… what it is it, wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? I crave for the dream that becomes a long lasting memory. I want a memory that will always linger around and make my day brighter. Especially, on the days where I need to smoke to relieve stress and reach for a lighter. Life is no fun living in a lonesome shell; maybe someday I'll find an escape from this wretched hell. Perhaps I can find my own paradise and live there forever.
Clare closed her journal and took a deep breath as she got up and walked towards the pin that held all of the rabbits. The orange color that the sun was providing was reflecting all throughout the girl's healthy black hair. The sun was about to retire for the night and allow the moon, its distant lover, to take over her job for the night. She needed to hurry up and be home in time for dinner, she quickly filled up two old rusted cans full of rabbit food and threw it into the pin. The girl did not care for properly feeding the rabbits; she could care less about the animals for all that matters. She ran off towards the house forgetting her journal. Realizing that it wasn't in her hands she returned to the pin in order to retrieve it.
Something bright reflected into her eyes. She turned her head slightly towards the pin and noticed a white hare with a small golden collar around its neck in the corner of the pin by itself. With curiosity she opened the gate to the pin and reached for the hare that was discriminated against. Instead, the hare bit her and dashed out of the pin. This caused Clare to lose contact with reality and have a delay of actions. A few seconds afterwards she chased the hare into the field, over several hills, across a creek, and into the tree lines. The chase ended whenever the hare darted into a rabbit hole located near a dark strange tree. Upon this tree, there's a piece of baby blue faded material pinned against the bark with a knife.
With a thousand questions flowing through her head the girl removed the knife and felt the material. "Where did this come from and how old is this?" She asked herself. A noise was becoming clear from a distance, howls of bloodhounds and the voice of her step-mother which made her cringe in fear. With a decent grip on the knife in her hand she stood her ground in front of the rabbit hole. The moment was tense, her body was shaking from fear when the first bloodhound spotted her and stood in front of her. There was moment of silence. Death was all Clare could detect. It was either going to be the end of her life or the end of this dog's life. The silence was broken when the dog growled and darted towards her. The animal lunged and attached its jaws onto Clare's arm. "Fucking animal…" Clare screamed as her skin was broken by the canine's teeth. The first instinct Clare could think of was to defend herself, after all that was her only option, she stabbed the dog in the side and took a step back due to the pain.
A piece of the earth crumbled into the rabbit hole causing the girl to lose balance and fall into the rabbit hole. Head first and backwards. "What is going on here?" She thought to herself. Not even noticing that the dog fell down the rabbit hole with her. The girl had fallen into a bottomless tunnel it seemed like. There were floating objects that were not to be believed seen. Her innocent mind was ruined by being exposed to these things. There was a broken tea pot set; however, tea was not the liquid spilling out of it. It was a red hue that flowed thickly through the air. There was a comfortable chair that was torn to shreds and covered in what seemed to be blood and guts. Many other things were detected too, things such as: burnt cards, drugs, non-sanitized weapons. In fact, a spear went straight through the head of the bloodhound that attacked her. Blood flowed through the wounds of where the spear rests and out of the mouth. The sight of all of this unfortunate things caused painful tears and a level of discomfort.
"Nothing could get any worse than what I just seen." Clare said out loud to herself in a disgusted voice. The tunnel appeared to be coming to an end and at the bottom rested a pool. From her point of view the pool looked blue, and she thought perhaps it was the sky. Due to happiness the girls screamed real loud and thought she was back into reality. Suddenly the hue of blue turned into a shade of crimson red. Her body soon felt a disappointed emotion and regret as she went in head first into the blood of innocents.
The blood filled her mouth. The taste of copper was manipulating her taste buds and resting on her tongue. A stench that was so hellacious tormented her sense of smell and burnt into her nasal cavity. Her body was frozen; her nerves were not functioning properly, and her poor mind was telling her to swim to the surface. She was suffocating herself. Once her feet touched the bottom she had the urge to open her eyes, which was not a good idea. The blood that was shed from innocents burned her brown hazel eyes and forced her to close them. She kicked off of the bottom of the red lake and swam for the surface. Once she felt air hit her face she gasped and screamed for help. While she was screaming the blood from her lips slithered into her mouth and found its way down her throat. The girl couldn't see and was terrified.
"ALICE? Alice? Is that you?" asked a dark mysterious voice. Assuming that the voice came from someone that was close, Clare screamed again for help. She coughed her lungs out almost as blood found its way down her throat again. "My name is not Alice…" Clare cried out. "Identify yourself then." "My name is Clare. Please, I'm not Alice. I have no idea who this Alice is that you're talking about. I'll identify myself more if you help me out of here. I cannot see, sir." Clare said with a slightly broken voice. The stranger spoke towards her in agreement, "Deal. I will help you as long as you identify yourself afterwards and explain how you got here."
Clare felt paws against her shoulders and the cold liquid moving past her as she was being pushed towards land. When she reached land the stranger handed her a cloth to wipe her hands off and face. She was able to open her eyes. She shrieked a little when she noticed that the person talking to her the whole time was a purple cat that had a bloody bandage over his left eye. "My name is Cheshire." He confessed. "Now, will you please tell me more about yourself? That way I do not have the benefit of doubt of killing you." He spoke with a sickening grin forming on his face. Clare nodded and continued with her identification of herself.
After the cat's suspicions of Clare disappearing, he led her to a shelter. "The place you are going to is the home of the Tea Parties. However, there haven't been many tea parties lately, and there probably never will be one again. Welcome to the Hatter's Palace. Have a nice stay, darling." Cheshire said before he vanished in thin air. Clare wanted to ask him why he didn't stay, but she couldn't find enough courage to. Instead she turned around, walked through the gates, and continued walking towards the noise of people. The dead leaves where crunching underneath her feet, and branches from the trees were breaking. The noises died down into silence and the shadows of inanimate and animate objects became visible in the misty fog. "Alice, is that you?" asked a high pitched voice along with several people talking under their breaths.
Clare sighed a little as she replied to the question. "My name is not Alice." She appeared out from the bushes exposing her stained red clothes. Quickly she dodged a tea cup that was thrown at her while someone shouted 'you're late for tea'. She picked herself up and took a deep breath and said in complete confidence, "My name is Clare." This caused those who were laughing to fall deadly silent. Clare repeated herself – this time with a change in her tone of voice. "My name is not Alice. My name is Clare."