"Nobody's really happy in such a messed up world." He thought to himself as he flipped another card over. "How can anyone be optimistic? The world is screwed over, it's dank and hateful and..." He froze for a while and looked over his shoulder for a while. The laughter emitted from the window caught his attention, this time it was genuine to him and he hadn't known why. That was something to think about much later. The cat-eyed boy pulled out a stool from under his bed and set it under the window. He scampered up it and opened the curtains and saw the world's most peaceful scene. Maybe chaos wasn't everywhere, but it certainly has manifested some places. Those places were far from there, though it still made him shudder to think of the bitterness. Unfortunately, Toon Link was scared to admit to himself he wanted to go outside. He feared he would taint the celebration with his mere presence or that something bad would happen as soon as he left his room.
He heard a creak in the door and leapt a meter backwards and painfully landed flat on his back, shuddering. Ever since late autumn, he swore he heard things when nothing happened. That didn't scare him as much as the hard taps he'd feel on his shoulder when alone.
"Hey!" The man's voice sounded terribly goofy. "Are you alright?"
"No, mister. Please leave." Toon Link squeaked. "I'm innocent, you hear?"
"Huh?" CDI Link poked his head in. "What happened? Did Ganonpork scare you?"
"I'm glad it's just you, brother. There's something I have to tell someone, but I'm not sure if you're the right person. You're too dopey to understand." Toon Link pushed himself up and sat cross-legged.
"Oh really? Well..." CDI Link's eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head just trying to see what his brain was up to. If he had one, anyway. "I won't tell anyone unless you give me permission!" He stumbled inside and sat down in front of his little brother.
"This sounds crazy, but I think anyone's- not everyone's lives are somehow ruined by me."
"WHAT? That's crazy, you don't harm people. In fact, I hear the P.A. system hardly announces you to fight anybody."
"That's because I'm not awesome like regular Link, strong as Ike, or even remotely cool."
"But people think you're cute, that's a good thing."
"Not if you're trying to be a man." Toon Link frowned.
"They- whoever 'they' is -thought you were good enough for the third smash roster. I didn't make it, my hand-eye coordination is off, they say. They also said I have poor depth perception." CDI Link crossed his arms and nodded, because that's what he thought smart people did.
"They also said you were stupid, because you act like a clown."
"Who? Aw nevermind. Doesn't matter what other people think of me, it doesn't change who I really am. They can live in a fantasy world for the rest of their lives. I should feel sorry for them." CDI Link shrugged until his shoulders brushed his ears. "Let's go outside! You'll like it! It smells good and the fighters are just being themselves, there's a lot to them that they push down. How often do you see Captain Falcon bend over backwards or Wario stuff nine hot dogs down his throat at once?"
"It sounds like they're high." Toon Link lowered a brow.
"Nah, only Pit is high. He flies all the time now."
"That's not what I meant!" Toon Link protested. CDI Link crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue.
"Yaah weel, yer thinkin has gown fuhny." CDI Link imitated some accent, hoping it would humour the young smasher. Toon Link harboured a scowl on his face when his dopey brother gently poked him in the head. "Seriously, I don't get it. Are you sick or something?"
"It doesn't count as a sickness in the opinion of most people, so they can't be convinced otherwise and I can't get help."
"I know, some people believe the mind can't get sick. Any part of the body can get unwell."
Toon Link couldn't believe the half witted elf in front of him. How could he understand anything? He doubted CDI Link even knew what he was talking about. The floppy pompadour flapped as he did the nodding and crossed his arms again. Toon Link didn't care about going outside anymore if it meant having to deal with ignorant people much more hostile than CDI Link. In fact, Toon Link was reminded of the incident with Zelda two weeks ago. She got mad at him for saying things, things that were there to him but not her. Toon Link did have good times with Zelda, but all he remembered were the bad times. Thus Zelda hated him, in his opinion. She said to go to her if he had a problem, and she punished him for it. Why? That was hypocritical wasn't it? Toon Link's thoughts made him quiver all over, so he climbed into his bed and shut his eyes tight.
"Something wrong, little guy?" CDI Link towered over him. "For a minute there, it looked like you wanted to cry."
"It's nobody's business, not even my own."
"Whatever it is, talk to a doctor about it.
"I don't want to go outside today, I'd rather stay in bed and sleep all day. Maybe sleep some more, too."
"Alright then. You won't go outside." CDI Link scooped up the tiny frame in a quick swooping motion. "WE will go outside."
"Just where are we going? I don't want to be seen!"
"How about we take you to doctor Mario? His office is somewhere in this stadium!"
"How about you put me down?" Toon Link squirmed.
"You'd run away if I did that!" CDI Link laughed as he strode out the door into the empty hallway. It was long, painted a miserably bland dark shade of blue and studded with doors. "See? Nobody's here but us." His goofy voice echoed, yet nobody was alarmed. They were truly alone in there. Doctor Mario's office wasn't hard to find, since it had a nearly opaque window with his name on it. CDI Link knocked rather hard on the light wooden door, leaving a few dents in it.
The short Italian doctor yanked the door open, he thought the issue was urgent. When he realized it was just CDI Link holding onto his friend, he sighed out of frustration "Do not make me do that again, you don't do that again."
"Does that mean we can't come in?"
"No. Just don't do that again. Come in." The office had not much to offer except it had friendly characters slapped on the walls and a few seats. There was a telephone in case of some emergency. Doctor Mario pulled out a clipboard from a desk and clicked his pen. "What seems to be the problem, boys?"
"They say I think too negatively, that I need more sun, that I'm an ungrateful brat, that I'm lying-"
"Whoa there, little guy! I can't write that fast!" The doctor chuckled. "I think you'll have to explain yourself a little more, Toon Link."
"I hear squealing noises even when nothing's happening. Nobody believes me! They tell me that's a part of a thing they call 'puberty'."
"Well, you don't have to be a doctor to know that's definitely not a part of that. Who are these people who say this to you?" Doctor Mario held his pen steadily.
"The fighters themselves, mostly Zelda." Hearing this struck the doctor dumbfound. He slapped his forehead in apprehension. "What else do you want to know, doc?"
"Everything that's bothering you." Doctor Mario peeled his head from his hand and began writing down some lengthy notes.
"Sometimes, I feel a tapping on my shoulder. When I look behind me, nobody's there. People also say I'm just a lying brat for that."
"I'm going to be 'facepalming' all day upon hearing such stupidity. You see, what you experience and what they experience is different. People like to apply their reality to everyone else's to the point where they act like the deviation of the norm is immoral and undesirable."
"The fingers that tap my shoulders aren't fleshy, they feel hard. That's all I know about that."
"Kid, you got me worried. Not just about you, but anyone who experiences abnormal stuff. I think you should be talking to a psychologist, not me. I specialize in physical problems and have no authority in this kind of business."
"Oh, so he's going to talk to a 'brain doctor'?" CDI Link interrupted.
"Yes, that. As for you, your wandering eye appears to have recovered." Doctor Mario had also noticed CDI Link didn't bump into the furniture like he did the last time he came. The main focus shifted back to Toon Link, who resembled a wet kitten. "Toon Link, I'm going to call a psychologist. She might recommend a few psychiatrists and you might stay in a hospital for some time."
"Wait, what?" Toon Link Blinked rapidly. "What's the difference?"
"A psychiatrist prescribes meds after they hear your problems out. But I hope things don't go that far."
"Gee," CDI Link's optimism died a little, "I didn't know it could get that much worse."
"Don't worry too much about it, there are other people you could meet in there. They're not as scary as the media portrays them."
"R-really?" Toon Link stammered.
"Samus was there, once. She has issues, too. I'm not allowed to disclose exactly what it is."
"I don't want to go see a psychologist! I just want to go to bed!" Toon Link managed to squeeze out of his friend's grip and left the office with tears streaming from his eyes. CDI Link ran out after him, grazing the entrance with his shoulder.
"Toon Link! Come back here!" CDI Link panted. "I can't run in a straight line after you every time you act up!"
"But I really don't wanna go! Who knows what they'll do to me!" Toon Link sobbed.
"This kind of behaviour only reinforces the idea that you need treatment!" CDI Link's panting got heavier and his strides slowed to lethargic steps. He's not the fittest elf in the world, it had been so long since the last time he threw a book at anyone.
In a flash, Toon Link zipped left into his room and slammed the door quick as a frightened rabbit. His little rib cage heaved and his heart wouldn't stop jumping. He felt guilty about asking for help, to him it was a criminal thing to do. It's safer to stay inside your own fetid shell than risk getting hurt. It wasn't the patients he worried about, but the nurses there. Toon Link heard a few stories from people about the staff treating patients like a disease, and some even said they would take your rights away and keep you buzzed on medicine for who knows how long.
"Toon... Please open up." CDI Link's tired voice met the door a few seconds later.
"Just go away! It'll only get worse! You will tell everybody and they'll all be against me!"
"I wouldn't tell everybody, because you said the majority of people already dislike you."
Toon Link sewn his mouth shut, saying anything would get him into bigger trouble, he thought. CDI Link didn't attempt to force the door open, he figured the little guy needed to calm down. He looked down at his "dopey" self and wondered if he was as stupid as everyone thought. Maybe it does matter sometimes what people think of you, they say your enemies know your faults and that's the only thing you should respect them for. But how often are they right? Caught up in his own cynical thoughts, CDI Link turned back the other way with his head hung low. Toon Link heard the heavy footsteps fade outside and ceased to push against the door. In a moment, things appeared fine. The window continued drawing in the sunlight, however the laughter had died. In suspicion, he scampered up to the window to find out some people left. The only thing interesting that was happening among the fighters was that Marth was really bad at limbo. Spines don't bend "that way" and neither did the effeminate prince.
Toon Link pulled away from the window, pulled out his iPod from a box under his bed and listened to some music. He listened to sad, yet calm music. He collapsed onto his bed and stared at the strange music machine that was given to him. When he looked on the back, there were some words engraved into it.
"Forever our favourite goon." Only two people called him a goon, the janitor and Zelda. Could she really be a nice person after all? Toon Link didn't think so, he went with the philosophy that things are just as wrong as they seem. Lots of things were wrong, so he'd often try to wriggle out of situations. The topic got ugly like regurgitated chyme in his head and he began to think about why the janitor called him a goon. It was because he played tag with Lucas during April last year and tripped over the bucket of dirty water.
"I'ma gonna hafta clean the floor again and you'll be my mop ye little goon!" Toon Link remembered those words being loud, but in his mind they were louder. His little shoulder was being tapped again, he looked over and saw nothing. Just the usual sensory illusion that played with his mind like a fiddle. He tried hard to think about what the songs reminded him of, and immediately regretted to think that they were lonely thoughts.
The little guy spent the next hour reading about primitive creatures that lived in Hyrule long before it was civilized before his door received gentle knocking. At first, he tried to ignore it and read more, but the knocking got louder and the unknown guest outside became more impatient. If Toon Link had no manners, they wouldn't be nagging him. He put the book down hesitantly and opened the door.
"I heard you're chronically upset." A tall, blond swordsman stood there holding a paper bag.
"Why are you here?"
"I already told you." He smiled down at him. "A 'dopey' birdie told me everything, and you forgot about lunchtime." Link gave the little boy the bag and a pat on the head.
"I'm not a pet!" Toon Link stammered.
"You're still tense, I see."
"Just leave!"
"No need to yelp, I'll go." Link flipped his hair to one side and stepped back. "If you want me to stay, I will."
Toon Link slowly shut the door on who he thought was one of the coolest people around. It snipped his heart to do that, but he didn't think too much of it after diving into the bag. There was a slice of pepperoni pizza, some cookies and a carton of apple juice. He stomached it all gladly in about fifteen minutes and resumed reading. His curious eyes flicked back and forth over a page that had a giant inkblot in the middle. He never figured out what an indricotherium was as a result, he wished he had known since it was an interesting name. He gave up on that book and snagged a few more to flip through. One of them had caught his interest and he ended up reading until it got dark outside and the sky painted itself with stars.
"Hello?" A familiarly goofy voice vibrated through the door. "Toon Link, you okay?"
"I'm fine, what do you want?"
"Will you let me in? I think you need to talk to somebody."
Toon Link rolled his eyes, he couldn't care less if he was in trouble, but he opened the door anyway. Sure enough, CDI Link stood there with a goofy look in his eyes and a wide smile.
"How are you doing, little guy?"
"Okay, I guess." Toon Link groaned.
"Do you still get those tapping feelings?
"Yeah, I still look over my shoulder. Do you think someone cursed me? Maybe I'm haunted!"
"Don't hyperventilate, brother. It's nothing to be ashamed of." CDI Link knelt over and hugged Toon Link. "You're not evil or strange. Some people still root for you."
"Only you, and Link and... Doctor Mario." Toon Link muttered.
"People care more than you think," CDI Link pulled away, "trust me!"
"Do you know what time it is? I have no clock."
"Hmmmmm, it's time for me to leave the stadium and you to get some shut-eye."
"Leave? Why?"
"Don't know, but the P.A. will call security on me," he laughed, "and I'll be tossed in the hospital. I guess I better get going. You just try and not worry about a thing."
"Why the hospital? Are you insane or something?" Toon Link's eyes widened.
"I just don't know. See you later!" CDI Link bumped into the doorframe. "I meant to do that," he giggled quietly as he stumbled out. Toon Link was about to hit the sack until he saw doctor Mario with Link enter his room. Their faces sagged with disappointment, or what Toon Link assumed was disappointment.
"You poor little guy," the doctor sighed, "I don't blame you for being so scared. Are you aware of the reasons why people want to help you?"
"Help? Not hurt?" Toon Link's doubt was showing signs of distrust and possibly paranoia to doctor Mario, who did not write that down on the clip board.
"Have a look at the clip board and tell me if that's how other boys your age think on a normal basis." The doctor held his notes in front of Toon Link, who took hold and read the handwriting over and over.
"That's not how boys think, at least from what I know."
"You'll be alright, little brother." Link's voice was smooth, deep and quiet. Toon Link didn't understand why the young man didn't speak much, there's nothing wrong with his voice.
The doctor and Link still looked apprehensive as they walked out of the room and shut the door behind them. They didn't leave, but they were having a muffled discussion about the situation. Toon Link's walls were thin enough to let words remain remotely comprehensive.
"I have no Idea, doctor. I never expected this to happen to him." He heard Link weep a little. Toon Link didn't see how this was a big deal. He lived with it for almost a year and never told anyone about the isolated incidents or all the freaky sensations. After a few minutes of muffling and more weeping from outside, they came back inside. Link had beads of a river flowing from his pained eyes. Toon Link didn't want to feel bad for his big brother, but he welled up with tears as well.
"Doctor, did you call the psychologist like you said you would?" Toon Link inquired. The doctor nodded modestly. "So am I really going to be locked up in a hospital and have my rights taken away from me like I've heard from people?"
"No, you'll just talk to her. That's all we recommend."
Toon Link didn't remember the rest of the conversation of that night, he remembered receiving a bear hug from Link and returning the clip board to the doctor. Sleeping was hard, it seemed like a boring and tedious thing to do and Toon Link vowed to stay up all night. He fell asleep within two hours and dreamt of fiery nightmares where skeletons caught and skinned everyone and knew where you were no matter where you hid. Even when awakened by such nightmares, Toon Link felt similar skeletons were with him outside his thoughts. They were the ones constantly tapping on his shoulders, walking with him where he went.