I DO NOT OWN HETALIA
'"Lynne" is an unrecognized disease in psychological terms, where the person will hold their hands around their throats, and scream to the point of losing their voice, because they are screaming for the one thing they can either no longer have or no longer reach.'
Dead. Ivan Braginski was dead. Nothing could bring him back, not even the darkest magic or the kindest words.
Worst of all, it was all her fault. Natalya blamed it all on herself. If it weren't for her, he would still be alive. If she hadn't made him angry then maybe he wouldn't have stormed off towards the road. Then the car wouldn't have hit him, killing him instantly. She was not deserving of him, not at all.
Still, she wanted him, ever so deeply. Yet he was out of her reach. He was on the other side now. Natalya felt like she was going insane, and maybe she was. Maybe that was the reason she giggled as soon as she saw that sharp knife, and instantly pierced it into her skin, blood going everywhere.
After the knife incident, knife still in hand, she walked into her bathroom. For a split second, she glanced into the mirror. The person she was now was not what it used to be. You could have called her crazy before Ivan died, but now she was more than that. A new level of crazy: insane. Maybe even that was an understatement.
"Ivan... Ivan... I miss you so much...
Come... And marry me!"
In a raspy voice, she screamed these words. For about thirty seconds she waited for an answer. Nothing came.
"Ivan?"
Natalya was then overcome with an emotion- love, hate, fear, wanting, sadness, anger, and even a bit of happiness. She held her hands around her throat and screamed for the longest time, "Ivan! Ivan! Big brother! Marry me!"
She did this until she could no longer speak, until she passed out of exhaustion on the floor.