He sat down on the bench facing his locker. Could not believe he had survived the day.. had been difficult to fight for the lives of 3 family members involved in a dreadful car accident. Had spent hours in the OR getting them back, but he had made it. In one of the cases he had had Cristina scrubbing in, and they had rocked the surgery together. In love or not, she was going to be a brilliant surgeon. She would quickly surpass his abilities, and he was sure he would be so proud when the time came... he so much wanted to kiss her beautiful able hands... but knew that some things just couldn't be..
And then his first session with Dr. Wyatt. It had been just painful. He had never been in therapy before, and was not exactly someone used to share his feelings. The session had been tense, but by the end Dr Wyatt had given him a very positive feedback. She really understood how hard the situation was for him, and told him she had seen worse recover. He hoped he could believe her; he could actually do with a little confidence that this therapy would help him recover.
He slowly stood up to get a towel from his locker before entering the shower. And then, he saw it. A simple striped cardboard card with a short sentence written.
"I´m so proud of you today".
He held his breath, and felt the moist coming to his eyes. He didn't need a signature, or any further explanation. She had obviously learned about his therapy, and wanted to encourage him. And how she had done it! She always knew how to make him feel better.
They had barely exchanged looks during the day; and had remained professional in the OR, barely acknowledging each other presence. But knowing she had spare a thought for him made him feel much better. She was amazing.
He went to the shower, and then, before leaving the hospital run to his office to get a card, so that he could leave a reply in her locker.
"Would go to hell and return just for one of your smiles. Thanks for being there"
And so it begun. The first and last thing they did at SGH was to open their respective lockers to get their daily smile.
"One week without nightmares" Owen wrote some weeks later, happy to let her know he was progressing.
"Loved to see you laugh with Sloan today, you have a beautiful laugh Dr. Hunt" progressed the conversation.
Small sweet notes that kept them going, day after day. Knowing that the other would silently be there noticing every small gesture, sharing progress and waiting to stand up in the bad days. Most days the notes were positive and encouraging, not what anyone would have expected from Cristina; but she really felt different around him, and felt better knowing she had made him smile.
Some days however, they needed to share the pain in their small exchange. "I could not save her today Cristina, and it was heartbreaking giving the news to her spouse". "You cannot save them all Owen, and you know it. You go on and you are there for saving the next one"
The stack of notes was growing bigger with every day. Sometimes they even exchanged a smile on the corridor, and even their polite greetings would turn into "Have a nice evening Dr. Hunt".
*****************************************************
At the hospital, nobody knew about their secret exchange. Of course not everyone had known about their blooming romance before the incident, but now even Callie and Meredith thought that they had managed beautifully to stay apart without making the working together weird. They only knew that mentioning him was a taboo.
Both of them had however on their own come to the conclusion that Owen was getting better. Meredith did know about his ongoing therapy; and now, a couple of months after the choking incident she somehow regretted having been so harsh in her judgment. Hunt was indeed a good man. Before the incident, she had respected him as a doctor, but she had been too busy with her issues with Derek to pay that much attention to the new surgeon. After Cristina had broken up with him, she had begun scrutinizing him.
First it had been Derek, standing at his side, helping him to get treatment. Derek did indeed believe in him, and that was something. And Cristina had always been a great character judge. With the time she had come to understand what Cristina had seen in him. He was tough, and did not spend to much time on niceties, but he was at the same time generous and compassionate. Always willing to help anyone in need without making a fuss out of it.
But Cristina never mentioning him made her uneasy. She knew that it was too painful to Cristina to talk about him. She had never seen Cristina so touched and sad. Even during the Burke crisis, Cristina had not been so sad for so long. She had never been too much into touchy-feely but she had indeed become a robot in the last couple of months. She kept rocking her surgery, but even that didn't seem to cheer her up. The only moments her face would lit up, where the small moments when she was looking at him from the distance unaware of Meredith staring at her. It was heartbreaking to see her like that. Maybe she should tell her to give him another chance. Maybe it was not too late if he was recovering... Maybe she should invite him to the wedding, Derek wanted him there indeed, maybe... but every time she attempted to bring the topic up with Cristina, she would change the topic and shut up. Maybe she had overcome Owen after all...
Cristina did not want to talk to Meredith about Owen. Simply could not explain that without talking, and nearly without looking into each other's eyes, they had been able to keep it together; that they had managed to love each other from afar. Cannot tell her friend that they were people used to silent communication, and that she was feeling, that even with the sadness of being apart there was hope. She was living in the middle of a victorian romance, waiting patiently every day for her love line.
*********************************************
And then one day, Cristina receives a note that makes her heart pound stronger than the rest of them.
"Today I saw you across the hall, and you seemed sad. I am wondering what am I doing to you. Your words have carried me during these hard times of therapy and pain. The hope of you waiting for me at the end of the tunnel made it bearable. But I cannot stand to see you unhappy, or worried about me. Maybe you should go on with your life, instead of being there for me. It does break my heart, but I care too much to see you unhappy. Maybe I should leave and let you be."
She is having a panic attack, her breath becomes suddenly difficult, and her hand shakes, when trying to hold the pen. She wants to run to him; hug him, and let him know that the reality is the opposite, that the only thing that carries her through her days is the hope that one day Owen will find his way home. And he is doing so fine. He cannot bail just right now....
"If you leave I will follow, I will follow you into the dark. To the end of the world if it should be. Because the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I am going to get your words, that you are there, and that you are walking your way out of the dark. Owen I can see it, I can nearly reach your hand from the other side of the tunnel. And I will be here, and I will hold your hand when you are ready. Whenever that might be. Once you promised me 40 years, and I want more, I want every single day you have. Owen Hunt, I love you, would you marry me?"
She didn't see him coming. She was about to head out of the hospital along with Meredith, when he grabbed her by the arm, turned her around and begun kissing her passionately. In the middle of the entrance. Right beside Meredith and her astonished look. He just didn't care, and she didn't either when she hugged him tightly. The kiss seemed to last forever in front of the SGH staff. And then they just hugged for some seconds, their foreheads together, as he smiled and whispered "Yes". Nothing more and nothing less... until they were interrupted by his beeper... he briefly kissed her again smiled, and left for the Pit.
Cristina just followed him with her gaze, while Meredith recovered her voice enough to begin asking "what the hell.." Cristina smiled looking deep into Meredith's eyes and simply answered
"I'm engaged".
