C h a p t e r - - - One
Haruhi gets a summer job! _
It was a warm afternoon in the club room. "Perfect shitting weather!" Haruhi said aloud
"Haruhi, shouldn't you go home soon it's the last day of school and its almost out too I mean Really, Haruhi Suzumiyo why'd ya do this to me?" Kyon wasn't taking his pills again. "HNNNNGGGG FUFUFUFUWAFUWAFUWA PLOP!" All of the sos brigade could hear haruhi ''lose a few pounds''. When haruhi was done poopin she offered Kyon a ride home in her HUMVEE™©.
"HARUHI LOOK OUT FOR PEDESTRIA-" Before kyon could finish Haruhi had ended the life of several small school children.
"HOLY COCONUT FUCKING CRACKERS! I KILLED SOME KIDDIES FUCK!" Haruhi said that. "WEE WOO WOO WEE STOP MS SUZUMIYA YOU ARE A WANTED CHILD MURDERER!" "SHIT IT'S THE POPO ACT COOL KYONE." Haruhi had really done it now! She could only get up to 5 years in prison for this because she is autistic. Kyon put on his memes face. "Hey officer is there any problems cause im all cool here hahahahhahheghhegh COUGH HACK SPUTTER" Kyone let the cat outta the bag and accidentally opened the glove compartment revealing Haruhis stash of illegal drugs. "WUH OH!" Haruhi shot kyon an angry stare and kicked him RIGHT IN THE NUTS HAHAHAHAH OH MAN I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS! "YOUR CUMMING WITH US MS SUZUMIYA!" "Huh?" Haruhi confused "ERR AHH I MEAN YOUR COMING WITH US MS SUZUMIYA!" "Now that's the police I remember! Fuck you Kyon!" Kyon sat alone and watched the police take Haruhi away he cried but then laughed off his anus because he stole Haruhis Humvee and got that "Sweet ass hoe busted in the mustard!"
The sos brigade was ordered to appear at Haruhis trial in the Japanese court room (sliding doors, shitty chairs etc). The sound of the judge whom is bazooka joe's hammer hitting the desk twice. BANG BANG. "COURT IS NOW IN SESSION HARUHI!" Haruhi was fucked but she thought she would ask Mikuru how shit went down. "YO MIKURU WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED ON THAT FATEFUL NIGHT?" Haruhi was hopin foe a miwacle. "Haruhi you killed a bunch of kids and were impaired you should get community service time or something." Mikuru spoke like an angel!3. "Fuck you Mikuru you saggy tits whore face cock mongl-" Before H-ruhi could finish the judge spoke. "HARUHI IF YOU DON'T PAY UP $100.000 TO MAKE UP FOR THE DEATH OF MANY CHILDREN AND POSSESING DURGS BY SEPTEMBER THE FIRST I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT YOU GET RAPED IN JAIL BY MEXICAN MONKEY MANS AND BEAT TO DEATH." Haruhi was a broken doll amongst heroes. "BUT I DON'T HAVE THAT KINDA MONEY!" Haruhi turned red when she thought of her only option. "ILL… ILL… ILL.." "ILL ILL?" The judge mocked her. "ILL… ILL GET A SUMMER JOB!" "k good" And like that the sos brigade rode back to their club room in Haruhis now smashed to shit and full of graffiti, HUMVEE™©.
PART TWO COMING ZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE!