A breeze quickly swept over my face, leaving a whooshing noise ringing in my ear. The corner of my mouth threatened to pull upwards. The air was cool as it caressed my cheek. It reminded me of laying on a beach with the wind tempting you to stay the night; The crash of the ocean begging you to make it the soundtrack of your night, of your life. There was a majesty, a mysteriousness to it all that soothed my soul. It was intoxicating. It was impossible to say no to.
"Tegan are you even LISTENING?"
My gaze shifted from the crème colored walls I had been staring at for the better part of five minutes. I shifted my weight, tired of standing and not entirely ready to sit on the beds in the room. The part about traveling that no one bothers to think about is how sick hotel rooms can be. The once-orange-now-pale-yellow flowers on the comforter told me that I might be better sleeping in the tub tonight.
"TEGAN."
My eyes darted up and met their matching pair. Sara's eyes had a way of changing with her mood. When she was happy, her eyes were caramel brown and every bit as sweet. When she was sad her eyes had dark tinges around her iris. When she was mad…
"TEE. GAN."
I stared into her jet black eyes and took her in. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her shoulders pined back. Her jaw was dead set and her teeth mashed together. I tried to control my swooning. She was gorgeous when she was angry. Maybe more so than she was at any other point in her life. Sara controlled her emotions so well, I couldn't help but love her more when her passion charged through.
"Yeah, I'm listening."
"Right. I'm sure."
"I am. You're yelling at me about something."
Her face turned incredulous as she glared back at me.
"Yes. I am. Now nice of you to join. Don't you ever fucking listen Tegan?"
"Occasionally."
Her nose flared, as she exhaled slowly, trying to keep what little hold on her emotions she still had. I tried as hard as I could to keep the corner of my mouth from lifting up.
"Do you even know why I'm angry?"
"Not really. Something about the party or something."
"Right. That party that had absolutely NOTHING to do with Lindsey."
Lindsey's name dripped off Sara's tongue with enough venom to send a king cobra into retreat. I recoiled as I felt the heat spread over my skin. I heaved a sigh and stole a glance at Sara's face. Her eyes were drilling into mine. If she could have lit me on fire by merely glaring holes into me, I would have been nothing but embers smoldering through the floor. But there was a softness in her eyes that was begging for my attention. A softness I couldn't even think about ignoring. I took a step towards her and watched as she immediately put her guard back up. Any softness in her eyes was drowning under a pool of jealousy, as if my proximity was the anchor that brought it down. I heaved another sigh.
"Sara, look-"
"No, YOU look Tegan. Tonight was supposed to be our one night this entire month that we were going to be together without any interruption. But then lo-and-behold Lindsey shows up and everything's shot to shit."
Her nose flared again as she felt the grip on her emotions slip from her. We both knew she had already lost it, which is why she was standing there, the scent of booze strong on her breath, yelling at me in a foreign country at three in the morning. I knew I should have gotten defensive, maybe defended Lindsey from the contempt that slithered out of Sara's perfect lips every time she was brought up. I was supposed to fight back and show my own emotion. I was supposed to be angry. I was supposed to swear and yell and wake up anyone who dared step foot in a twenty mile radius. But Sara had a way of making pure rage seem attractive. Sara had a way of making most things seem attractive. Her jaw twitched slightly as she crossed and uncrossed her arms. She swayed like she was standing in straight line winds, but her feet were cemented to the floor. I took another half a step towards her and watched her shoulders arch back further.
"I know, and I'm sorry. But what was I supposed to do? She was there. I can't help that she wanted to surprise me. I can't just leave her hanging. And don't you think it would be a little weird if I just kind of went off with you when she was around? What would people think?"
Sara seethed for a moment before defeat entered her face. Her lips pursed as she broke her gaze from me. I immediately felt cold. I wanted her focus on me, even if it was in the form of a fiery glare. I took a step towards her and felt a sharp sting in my gut when she recoiled away.
"I'm still mad at you. And her."
She brought her gaze back to mine; a soft brown had crept into the edges of her jet black eyes. Her cheek bones flinched in her face as she clenched and unclenched her teeth. My heart was so loud in my chest, I was sure the front desk could hear it. My muscles twitched inside my body, pleading to touch her. She was angry; swarm of bees getting poked with a stick angry. I knew I shouldn't. I knew that nothing about her should be so attractive. I knew I should have felt guilty and tried to make it up to her. But all I felt was my body needing hers like the Earth needs the sun. I was completely wrapped up in her. She WAS my sun. From the way her nose crinkled when she smiled, to the way she kissed me goodnight, to the way she stared just feet from me and wanted to strangle me.
My muscles sometimes make decisions without consulting my brain. Or, rather, in spite of my brain's decision. My ears filled with the sound of breath catching in Sara's throat. Her back was straight against the wall, my hands laid flat against the wallpaper. Her palms rested gently on my shoulders as she began to push me away. Despite my brashness, my lips pressed gently against hers. Nearly immediately she gave into me and slid her hands around my neck. I slid my mouth down to her jaw and planted a trail of kisses. She raised her head up, giving me access to run my tongue down her neck. I felt her body shudder against mine as my teeth pulled at her skin. Her hands snaked into my short hair and held on. I trailed my lips up to her ear.
"Forgive me?"
"Tegan Rain, do you really think that's going to make it up to me?"
I smiled, hearing the breathlessness in her voice. Before I could answer, though, she continued.
"And what do you think you're doing trying to weasel your way out of this?"
I kissed her jaw once before answering. I couldn't help myself. Her skin was so soft and inviting, the alcohol in my blood could only wish to get me as intoxicated as Sara.
"I'm not trying to do anything. You're beautiful when you're angry."
"Tegan, I threw a shoe at you and you smiled. Are you a sadist?"
The music of our laughter filled the room as I looked back and into her honey colored irises. No one in the world could compare to Sara when her smile touched her eyes.
"Apparently, if that's what it takes to be with you."
"Hilarious. So tell me, Tegan, how are you going to make this up to me for real?"
Before she had even finished her sentence, I grabbed her by the waist of her pants and pulled her towards me. I walked backwards towards the bed, one eyebrow cocked over the other.
"Well now, why would I tell you, when I could just show you?"
The corner of my mouth twitched into a smile as Sara's hands left my shoulders and I crashed onto the bed. As Sara crawled over to me, I felt as wonderful as I did when the ocean was lapping at my skin. Despite the dingy hotel room, Sara would never have to tempt or beg me to stay. She was too intoxicating ; too impossible to say no to.