He's My Son
I, John Lupin watch my son sleep the night after another full moon. He is so young and yet what he has been put through is unbearable. My seven year old son, my wonderful son, has been a werewolf for two years. It is all my fault. I angered Grayback years ago and my child paid the price. It makes me feel guilty beyond belief. I wish that there was more that I could do for him, but I cannot. My wife sits by his side holding his hand. She tries hard not to cry, but fails miserably. She looks over him, taking in every inch of him. His face is scratched up, not to badly though, his chest is maimed, and his shoulder bitten badly. How I wish that Remus could be like the other kids, carefree, happy, untroubled…normal.
I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See, there's a boy that needs your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired,
I'm sure you can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand,
And she tries
Not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes
She gets up from his bed and crosses the room to me.
"Come on John", she whispers sadly , "We should get some rest".
I follow her into our bedroom and slip under the big comforter, which doesn't seem all that comforting. As I lie there with my eyes closed for hours I think of nothing but Remus. I turn to my wife to see if she has gone to sleep, she has. I sigh, throwing back the covers and trudge to my son's room once more. I reach the door and open it reveling him just as we had left him, sound asleep. I walk to his bed and kneel on the floor. Reaching out my hand I brush his tawny brown hair out of his eyes. I think for a moment about how my wife had told me about this place where muggles 'pray' to this person called God. I decide to try it, folding my hands and bowing my head like she has shown me.
"Umm…Dear God", I start awkwardly, "Well I don't know if you can hear me but I desperately need your help. This person I know was bitten by a werewolf five years ago and now he has become one. If you can see him could you could make him feel better? Every time he transforms he injures himself badly. If not, could you make me take his place somehow? He is my world. See, he's not just anyone, he's my son".
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel alright?
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son
"Dad?"
I look down at him to see him open his gray-blue eyes sleepily. "How are you feeling", I ask him anxiously.
"I guess I'm OK, but I've been better". He gives me a weak smile. I know that he is fighting sleep. "You need to get back to sleep Remus", I say gently. 'M'kay…night". He tries to turn on his side but his wounds prevent him from doing so. He groans, giving up and closes his eyes. I stand up and start to walk away. But I turn around and lean on the doorframe of his bedroom. I think for a moment and continue my prayer.
"Please let him grow old and live normally with out this curse haunting him forever. True to my word he is my world, werewolf or not I can't imagine what I'd be without him here. Poor lad, he shouldn't have to live with such a burden at seven years. As the full moon approaches he's constantly tired and scared. I wonder what he thinks about it all. If he thinks himself as normal or not. Does he dream of being normal? The boy he'd like to be. I can tell that sometimes he is a very troubled little boy. In his time of need please just let him know that your there".
Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep,
I dream if the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through,
But God, who he needs right now is you
Let him grow old,
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here?
He's so tired
And he's scared
Let him know that you're there.
I turn away and walk slowly back to my bedroom, a satisfied smile on my face. I slip under the comforter, which seems quite comforting, next to my wife. I close my eyes and think about his future, one of great potential. He will go to Hogwarts, graduate with O's in every class, perhaps become the minister or headmaster of the ancient school he graduated from. Marry a beautiful girl and have kids. He'll have the perfect life that everyone dreams of. He'll be the envy of the world. That is the life that my son, Remus John Lupin is destined for.
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel alright?
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
I, Remus Lupin watch my son sleep after another full moon. He so young and yet the dangers he faces are unbearable. My three day old son, my magnificent son, sleeps unaware of the perils around him. How I came to be this lucky, I don't know. I have a beautiful wife and a amazing child. True that my life hasn't been great but right now, I live in the moment.
"Remus!"
I jump, the voice startles me. Turning around I see Kingsly Shackelbolt staring at me thought the fire using floo powder. "May I help you?", I reply jokingly after my scare, as I intend to keep my dignity. "Enough joking around Remus this is serious! Harry Potter has returned to Hogwarts this may be the final battle!" I'm momentarily shocked, but I recover fast. "What should I do?" "All of the Order members are meeting at the Hog's Head pub". "I'll be there as soon as possible". I rush downstairs and tell Dora where I'm going and that she is to stay put. She protests but I tell her that this is what has to be done. I give her a goodbye kiss, kept in mind that this very well might be the last time I see her. I tell her and Teddy that I love them and step into the fireplace and then… I am gone.
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel alright?
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
I, Remus John Lupin look on at my son, far away from him as possible. I am dead, but I as well as Nymphadora will live on in him for ever. He will be for ever part of us together. He is our life, our legacy, He's Our Son.
Can you hear him?
Can you see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son