Yeah, I'm "that" guy.
That guy that slept with his best friend's wife and then tried to put a bullet in his head? Haha.. yeah. That one.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not laughing 'cause it's funny. I'm laughing 'cause I still can't believe how much of a jack ass I was. I mean, what a douche bag.
...
I loved Rick, man.
He was my brother. That man was there for me through everything. He was there for me when my poppa Harold passed away. He was there when Patty up an left me. He was there for me the night my old man first laid his hands on my mother. See, Rick? He was the kinda guy who'll give you the shirt off his back.
Guess I just couldn't do for him the way he had always done for me. Despite all the crap I said out of anger, he was better then me. Stronger then me. I was so busy having a pity party for myself that I ended sinkin' my own ass at the end of the day. How stupid is that?
I'm not gonna make excuses for anything I did. I was selfish, no doubt. Hell man, when all is said and done, it wasn't even about Lori. Shit, Lori.. the things I did to her. I fucked up.. that's to say the least.
I don't expect you to go feeling sorry for me. I don't deserve it. I know that now. Took me getting a knife to the heart to realize it. The fuckin' irony is unbelievable.
Nah, sorry's not the point of this.
I just wanted to say-.. No, I needed to say how god damn proud I am of him. That crazy son of'a bitch went agaisnt all odds and came out a fuckin' warrior. D'you see the way that man takes care of his group? Nothing's gonna stop him. Not any time soon- and Carl? Man. He's grown up so damn much. I see him now, an I don't even know what to say. How can I put into words how much I love that kid? How happy I am to see him grow into the man I knew he could be? There are no words for that.
Shit, ya'll got me cryin' over here and don't even know it. In all honesty, though?
Even after all the bullshit that happened between us, most of which I caused any damn way, I still love him. I still love Carl. More then anything. They're gonna be the last ones standing, I know it.
The next time I see 'em.. If ever have the honor.. I'm never letting 'em go again. Never. They're my family.
Rick, Carl... You're all I got, man.
You're all I ever really had.