Discovery

Lily Evans ran up the snow covered steps leading from Hagrid's hut to the main castle. It had been simply too cold to sort any more flobberworms that afternoon, and Professor Slughorn would just have to go without until after the holidays. Besides, there were better and more pressing matters at hand. A charms essay due before the break, practice on new transfiguration work, and not to mention packing for the Potters. The thought of it made her smile and walk a hair faster; seeing James would certainly bring feeling back to her toes.

It had been four amazing months since the beginning of the term. Four amazing months in which James Potter did not curse anyone, did not hex anyone, and most importantly, did not ask her out in his arrogant matter. The longest he had gone since fourth year, and during that time she began to see him less as a toerag that couldn't compete with the giant squid and more as a decent person, even as a friend. That friendship grew and blossomed, by the time of the first Hogsmead trip she had gotten so used to having him around that when he asked if she would accompany him she answered "yes" in seconds. With hatred and prejudices gone from the picture, James was a lovely boy. He was kind, loyal, passionate, and quite good looking. Within two weeks from their first date, he had asked her to be his girlfriend, which was accepted by a yes and a decent amount of snogging. Yes, life for the last four months seemed more exciting with James, and the invitation to spend Christmas with the Potters heightened that excitement. It made her feel as if their relationship was going to be more than just a fling during their school years. With the war being waged outside of Hogwarts' walls, everything seemed to be taking a more serious tone. Even James and his band of misfits and troublemakers had toned down their behavior in their final year. They were taking every aspect of life more seriously, even relationships with each other. It was nice to know that there was the possibility for an exciting and happy future in such dark times.

Christmas was just a week away now. Lily varied in feelings from nervous to ecstatic about her upcoming visit. It was well known that James didn't bring home just anyone, and she would be the first of his girls from Hogwarts to visit his family with him. Having only met the Potters once before, she was not sure what to expect from her visit. One cannot fully judge someone's behavior from meeting them at King's Cross station for a full three minutes. But James had assured her that they would love her as much as he did, which calmed her feelings a bit.

Just thinking about James could calm her in a heartbeat. One mention of his name would distract her from whatever she had previously been doing, which would likely explain why she did not immediately notice the groups of students clustered with copies of this morning's Prophet along every corridor. But as she neared the staircase that would lead her to Gryffindor tower, the groups could not help but catch her eye. They varied in House, but the majority of those that looked the most distraught were Gryffindors. Some whispered quickly, shooting her glances as she passed. Others were wiping escaped tears from their cheeks. Paused by fit of curiosity, Lily scanned for a group with some of her friends and hurried over to discover the news. The only faces that stuck out were those of Dorcas and Marlene, her two closest friends and fellow seventh years in Gryffindor.

Lily rushed over to their group.

"Dor, what's wrong? There doesn't seem to be a single person without a copy of the Prophet and I didn't have a chance to grab one this morning before breakfast. What's happened?"

Dorcas looked up at Lily with pained eyes.

"Lily…ther…there's been another attack," she sniffled. "It was out of nowhere, a little muggle city a bit out of London. There are about one hundred people dead, but they…they didn't stop there." Her breathing became labored as she paused to regain composure. "There was a small wizard community a few hills over from the town. It's not well known, so it wasn't a target, but when the Death Eaters were fleeing they saw the village and they attacked…about seventy-five dead. There were no survivors."

Lily felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. The war had always seemed so real, but never more drastic and painful until this moment. But then something else began to pull at the back of her mind. Mass killings had sadly taken place before, but never had the reaction been this bad. She lifted her head to voice her questions when she met Marlene's eyes. They looked haunted, even guilty, as if there was something that had been left unsaid.

"Marlene, what else happened? Please," Lily managed.

"Lil, you should see the list. They posted it to offer condolences to those who had family in the village," Marlene said.

Lily grabbed the paper out of Dorcas' hands and tore her eyes from Marlene's to see what was so important about the list. It certainly was a long list of names. A few looked remotely familiar, and she focused on those trying to pair them with a student at the school. This could certainly explain the solemn mood that had taken the castle. She began to scan with less of an interest, and almost missed the name. The name that she knew was the reason for the tears, for the looks, for the caution and guilt in Marlene's eyes. She threw the paper into Dorcas' hands and sprinted wildly up the remaining stairs, the name with so much meaning on the tip of her tongue.

"Potter."

Mourning

Lily burst into the Gryffindor common room. Her eyes scanned the room quickly for the disheveled lump of black hair, but it was not to be found. She stood there for a moment, regaining composure. During her sprint to the common room she felt as if she was going to burst with emotion. Sadness for the Potters and the other victims of the attack. Heartbreak for James and the longing to hold him in her arms and comfort him. Merlin knows he would need it, though she would have to find him first. She turned on her heel to go check the kitchens, thinking that he would have retreated there to nurse his sorrows with a Firewhiskey, when she heard her name called. Before turning she knew the source, and in her hurry to get to her source of information, and then James, she ran headlong into a group of first years. Swatting them out of the way, she hurried into Remus' arms. She looked up expectantly at him.

"He's in our dormitory," he said. "Sirius is with him. He's quite…well he's a wreck. Can hardly say a word. Hasn't since he saw the paper."

Lily curtly nodded and walked past him to the flight of stairs leading to the boys' dorms. Up six flights of stairs, one turn to the left, and then through an open door took her to their quarters. She was fist unnoticed and it became evident why.

James was in a right state, collapsed sobbing on his bed, if it could even be considered sobs in his condition. It seemed as if all the water had already been dispelled from his body, and it looked and sounded more like anguished yelling at that point. He was shaking so hard that Sirius, who was sitting on the edge of the bed attempting to rub James' back, could be seen visibly moving. Peter sat on the opposite bed, looking rather sick, eyes fixed worriedly on James. Remus brushed past her as he entered the room, going to Sirius.

"How is he," Remus whispered.

Sirius looked up with tear-filled eyes. He cleared his throat and replied.

"The same…did you find Lil..." he trailed off as his eyes finally found Lily, standing frozen in the doorway.

The mention of her name seemed to snap her out of shock. She moved as if in a trance to James' bedside. Sirius moved to the side as she slid onto the bed, grabbing James in her arms. He seemed to sense that a new person had taken over the duty of comforting and so he looked up at her for the first time since she had entered the room.

His eyes looked bloodshot, like he hadn't slept in weeks. His hair was matted to one side of his head, even more a mess then when he ruffled it with his hands. His skin seemed paler than this morning, as if he had not seen the sun for a matter of months.

The bloodshot eyes widened a bit in recognition as he took in Lily's face, but even that seemed to be too much for him as he slumped back down into the bed.

Lily grabbed him and he collapsed and drew him into her arms, pulling him into a sitting position at the head of the bed. She began to rub soothing circles into his back, around his arms, even releasing some of the tension in his neck. Sirius slid onto the bed in the room that was made when Lily moved James. He looked up at her, once again on the verge of tears. It was well known that Sirius had been living with the Potters for the most part since his removal from his own family, making him like a brother to James and a second son to Mr. and Mrs. Potter. There was no telling how well he would deal with the loss, but if the look on his faced showed any indication, Lily felt that he would want some time alone to deal with those sorrows.

"Go," she said to him. "It's going to be a long few days and he isn't improving much right now. Go be alone. You need it." With her last words, she grabbed his hand and then nodded at the door.

He wiped his eyes, whispered something that sounded like "thanks", and retreated from the room towards the loo. Remus looked up and followed after him, beckoning for Peter to follow. He too got up, gave Lily a sheepish smile and then followed his friend to see how Sirius was.

With the room cleared, Lily focused back on James. His sobs were slowly calming, but he still seemed a wreck.

"Shhh," Lily cooed into his ear. "It's gonna be okay. I'm here love, shhh."

James turned his face up to look at her. Taking a deep breath, he began to talk.

"They were…they were so happy the last time I talked to them. It was when I owled to see if you could spend Christmas with us. I kne…knew that I needed you and that they'd want to meet you, and they just seemed so happy. Want to know who finally caught my eye and my heart. Said I'd see 'em on Saturday, that we would floo over. Mum was already planning the food she was making for you and Dad was just excited that we'd be having company, gets a bit boring with just the three of us."

James stopped to breathe again. Talking seemed as taxing as a sprint in his condition, so Lily held back her murmuring, knowing that he would continue when he was able.

"I hadn't seen them since September. Hardly wrote this year, thought I was so busy, thought that I'd have the holiday to let them meet you and to catch up before this bloody war and now…now I just can't." He broke down in sobs once more.

Lily too was in tears after he finished. She had never seen him express much emotion, besides his loyalty to his friends and recently, his love for her.

"It's going to be okay, love," Lily said, breaking the silence. "They loved you and they always will. They'll be watching you, always with you, yeah? You're going to make it through this. You have me, us, your friends, everyone out there who is just heartbroken for you."

James looked up at this, and Lily, wasting no time grabbed his face in her hands and continued.

"We knew that this war would bring causalities, we just weren't ready for them yet. But that's why we're going to fight, for your parents and those muggles and everyone else. We will fight for our safety, for our children's safety, so that we can live in a better world. I love you James Potter, and we are going to fight this, win, and we'll be okay."

Lily knew that she had begun to ramble, but she could see the gleam in his eyes return the slightest bit at the mention of fighting the war for their freedom. It was always a topic that brought out his passion, his drive for a better world where they could both live in peace. With that gleam in his eye he sat up next to her.

"I love you Lily." he whispered. "Thank you."

And with that he laid his head down on her chest, his breathing slowed.

Lily managed a smile, satisfied that he as calm enough for sleep. She inched down on the headboard content that at least, for tonight, his dreams would be peaceful.