A/N: This is a SasuSaku one-shot I've wanted to put up for a long time. It's more of my two cents on how I think SasuSaku works, and how it doesn't. I was inspired to write this after catching up with the Bleach anime a few months ago because although it is rather odd, I quite like the fourth opening.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters from Naruto, Naruto itself, or Bleach.
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I still remember yesterday
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When you're young, the world seems to be absolutely perfect, a good place to live in even. Your parents are totally in love with each other (and happen to be the most beautiful people on this very planet), your friends are great, your class is the most fun class in the world, and nothing can harm you (well, except when you scrape your knee from tripping while playing tag). Sure, once we grow up a little, we all have the occasional problems, but they can be overcome, right? I was bullied when I was eight because of my broad forehead, and that made me meek, but my vision of the world was still bright. My canvas was only dyed a light color at the corners. I had friends that saved me from the bullies, and I was able to stand on my own two feet. Sure, the world wasn't as much of a perfect utopia as I used to think, but there were lots of nice people, and the majority of things were good.
Then I saw you.
When I saw you, it was love at first sight. Your pale skin that juxtaposed so delicately against that spiky, charcoal hair. Those dark, empty voids that were your eyes sucked me right in. You had something that just made you ooze with coolness, even if you didn't try to. You never talked to anyone, and you were always so cool when hanging out by yourself. Sure, you never said anything, but you were the very definition of a paragon, absolutely perfect. Your marks in school were at the top of the class and you were good looking; what more could a girl want? Of course, I wasn't the only one who liked you. Ino (my best friend) and I heard this crazy rumor that you liked girls with long hair, so we both grew our hair out. Before long, we were competing against each other for your love. We just couldn't get it through our heads that you didn't like either of us. That silence though, it broke my friendship with Ino. Imagine that; losing your best friend over a boy. I was such a fool!
Honestly, hanging out by yourself? What were these girls, what was I thinking? It's obvious now that you didn't have any friends? The girls loved you too much to only want to be your friend, and the guys hated you for being so much better than them.
Why didn't I realize how alone you were?
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I thought that it was fate.
I thought it was meant to be.
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"He doesn't have parents! That's why he's so unruly!"
"Sakura...you're annoying."
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When we finally graduated from the academy, I was ecstatic. They put me into the same ninja cell as you! It was a gift from the Gods for me to be able to be on the same team as the hottest guy in the village! Sure, Naruto (you know, that loser who can't do anything) was in it, and that ruined the moment a bit, but hey, I was with you, Uchiha Sasuke, practically a god.
I was a fool. I was supposedly in love with you, but I knew nothing about you. I'm so ashamed of it now, but I criticized Naruto for being such a brat, and the reason was because he didn't have parents. Not only was I wrong to do that, but I didn't even realize that you were an orphan too. I didn't realize that the reason you didn't talk to anyone was because...well, even now I don't quite know. Did you feel alone? Were you still traumatized by what had happened? Did you want to focus on training because of your brother? I don't know...I think you just couldn't trust anyone after what had happened. I didn't know about that incident back then though.
So, we were trying to steal those bells from Kakashi-sensei (a stupid test to prove our worth) when I saw your head sticking out of the ground. I was so stupid that I thought that your head had been severed, even though you talked to me! I didn't know that you had just gotten stuck there from some sort of technique Kakashi had pulled off. I fainted, and when I came to, you were watching over me like some angel. You didn't have to do that. Hell, I didn't think a guy like you would! You only looked out for yourself, and you never socialized at all, yet there you were. We started talking, and you were just beginning to open up to me about yourself when the 'test of our strength' ended. We failed the test, but I felt like I gained something. You admitted that you wanted to kill a certain man, and you had to become stronger than him to avenge someone.
You admitted...that you cried.
You, the emotionless boy, actually cried, and you were willing to tell me. I don't think I realized how significant that was back then.
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"Sasuke-kun, let's go practice on our own together!
"Not interested."
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And our lives went on. We went on a bunch of boring missions, that is, if you can call them missions. What, all we did was rake yards, babysit kids by watching horrendous anime with them, and rescue cats!? That's way more like menial labor than the work of a ninja! Well, we were just starting out, so I suppose it was fair now that I think about it. Those missions were all about diligence.
One day, we FINALLY got a C ranked mission, or a mission one rank above those so called missions we were already doing. We traveled along the dirt path with that drunk carpenter, Tazuna, when these ninja attacked us. I went to protect Tazuna, but then you chose to protect me. You didn't have to do that. I didn't know if I should be happy that you would risk your life for a teammate, or angry that I was so weak that I had to be protected. Regardless, you cared enough to shield me from danger.
Then we found out that the drunkard lied about the mission details because he couldn't pay for a higher ranked mission. The mission was actually A ranked! There was no way kids like us could do a mission like that! Thankfully, our cell leader, Kakashi, could handle it. We had to go through some tough battles, but I learned a lot. I learned more about myself, my talents and weaknesses, but I also learned more about you and Naruto. I realized that Naruto was stronger than I thought, and I understood that you really cared for your teammates. I don't know what happened, but you nearly died. I think...I think I can say that you protected Naruto. From the way you reacted to him afterward, I think you guys were embarrassed about it. You were always rivals, and then you protected him like you cared for him.
You were...sweet. You had a kind side to you. Heck, when I was down, you praised me in your own way. When everyone was stuck in an illusion, you and I both realized that our surroundings were a lie, a creation made by someone. You made sure to announce that you knew it was an illusion, and that I did too because I could see through things like that.
You made me feel special.
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"Sasuke...kun?"
"Sakura...who hurt you?"
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On that day, everything changed. After he, Orochimaru, tainted you, you became someone I didn't know. You became...a demon.
I couldn't grasp what had happened. Strange, black marks marred your porcelain, white skin, and I could see the shadow of something evil lurking behind you. You began to go on about selling your heart to the devil to become powerful. It...it really scared me. You proceeded to nearly kill the ninjas that had hurt me a little, but I couldn't watch you taint your hands with blood like that. So, call me stupid, but I gave you a hug.
I don't know why I did that. I didn't expect it to turn you into who you once were again. I was just afraid that you would destroy yourself with them, so I wrapped my arms around your body and screamed for you to stop. It actually worked.
Somehow, my voice and my touch got through to you.
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I was in love
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You stared at your trembling hands back then, afraid of what was inside of you. I held you in my arms, and I realized just how vulnerable you really were. I still didn't know what had happened to you before all of this, but I wanted to know so badly. I wanted to comfort you. I wanted to know who had hurt you, and how they did that.
Without truly knowing who you were, I was already in love with you, and that was my mistake.
Things happened. You managed to stop the demon inside of you for a long time, but then...you saw your brother. I wasn't there, but Naruto told me what happened. Your older brother slaughtered your entire family when you were eight, and he used an eye technique to make you watch your family die before your eyes again for twenty-four hours. He scarred you emotionally, and that's why you never opened up to anyone. When you saw him again, he broke your bones, whispered in your ear how you were weak, and he left you there to suffer. On top of that, he used that same technique to make you watch your entire family die again.
You were hospitalized after that. I don't know why, but you were never given any sort of therapy, even though you really needed it. You always thought you were alone, you never believed in anyone, and you didn't believe in love or bonds. Your brother betrayed you and your trust, and he left you alone. You were angry at yourself for being weak, and you tried to kill Naruto to prove yourself to, well, yourself.
I hated myself. I never knew just how much pain you were in and how much agony you suffered through. I knew you might leave the village, so I waited by the village gates every night for you. One night, you finally came, packed and ready to leave to seek power. I tried to stop you. I sobbed so hard about how I loved you, and I tried to make you stay. I wanted, no, needed you to stay with me because I was too weak to do anything on my own. I asked you if you remembered the day that I had criticized Naruto, and you lied by saying no. I know you lied because just as you were about to turn your back on me and the rest of the world, you smirked and told me that I was still annoying.
Why did you lie to me? Did you think you could leave me behind quicker by lying to me? Did you want to protect me from the shallow person I used to be? I still don't know.
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"Don't leave me! If you do, I'll scream, and-"
"Sakura...thank you."
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Before I knew it, you stood behind me and whispered a word of thanks to me. I don't know why you thanked me. Was it for standing by your side, trying to save you, loving you even though you were so cold to everyone? You began to warm up to Naruto and I eventually, so I don't really know. The next thing I knew, it was morning, and I was lying on a bench. Tears filled my eyes and poured down my cheeks, and it seemed like they would never end.
You were gone.
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Today will never come again
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Naruto chased after you to no avail. You left the village, and you weren't coming back. Naruto and I promised we'd work together to bring you home, so I trained to become a strong and better person. It was a great distraction; I nearly forgot the pain of your absence from my life. Two and a half years later, Naruto and I were ready to bring you back. I was optimistic. I thought that maybe you would come back for me.
I was dead wrong.
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"Sakura, huh?
"Sa...su...ke...kun...
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When we met again, I was too shocked to say anything to you. You spoke two words to me, and never said another word. In fact, you paid me no attention at all, and you focused all your energy on Naruto. When things turned ugly, you were willing to kill me. I yelled at Naruto not to cry, but I cried just as hard as he did. I wanted to be strong for the both of us, and I wanted to forget about you. I didn't want to hurt anymore...
We haven't seen each other since.
You are no longer the Sasuke I once knew. You no longer care for anyone, including me. All you care about is your older brother. You have a sick, twisted tie of obsession with him.
I don't know what you've become. Last I heard, you joined up with an enemy force and want to kill everyone. You want the world to suffer. Sometimes, I wonder if you would have turned out this way if you just had a friend in the beginning, someone you could really count on.
It started as a crush, just an illusion of love. I only liked you because of your looks, but as we got to know each other, or so I thought, it turned into love. I wanted you to stay by my side, and we would depend on each other. I didn't realize that I never knew you at all. You always had this invisible wall around your heart, and nobody could break it down. No, I think Naruto could a little, but that was because you two are one in the same. You both have lost things important to you, but while Naruto searched for love to heal his wounds, you searched for hatred.
Because today will never come again, I can't wait around for you forever. You know, you were my first love. You'll always have a place in my heart, but I can't put my life on hold. I can't wait for you to change your ways and come back home. I don't know if you can change. I want to wait for you, but...I think it might be time to move on. If the day ever comes that you allow yourself to love someone, to love me, I'll think about it, okay? I'm going to walk forward without you, but if we ever cross paths again, I'll slap you, then hug you. You've caused me so much pain, and you've become that demon you once showed me years ago, but I can't help but love you. I want to pull away, and I know I'm stupid for not doing so, but I can't help it. You make me feel weak. You make me feel strong. You make me feel like I'm useless. You make me feel like I can do anything.
I hate you.
I love you.
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I guess I'll see you some other day
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