A/N: Let's face it: Eragon is fairly easy to make fun of. This parody was not, and is still not, intended to offend anyone, in any way, shape or form. Except maybe in the form of sarcasm.

"ALL HAIL ERAGON, THE MIGHTY OTTER-RIDER!"

"ALL HAIL ERAGON, THE MIGHTY CAVE-SLAYER!"

And the wise otter, Saphira, flew away from her hordes of deceived young elves, with Eragon the omnipresent farmer on her fuzzy back. Although Saphira the otter had just hatched out of her otter-egg a few months ago, she was already an all-powerful being. She worshipped by all, just as Eragon was.

Eragon had been a poor farmer, but his magical otter had helped him swim to greatness. Just mere weeks ago, he did not know one end of a pitchfork from the other, but he was now the most skilled Ninja-Otter-Rider in the world of Ageisheeta. For, you see, his mentor, Sir Broom, had taught him to use the FORCE.

Sadly, Sir Broom had tragically perished while accidentally saving Eragon's life. It remains unknown how such an awe-inspiring Otter-Rider had been killed, but several lawyers in Orc costumes took credit for the dastardly deed.

Now Eragon has found the Wardens, a group of angry park rangers who are in revolt against King Albatross and bananas. Eragon has promised to aid them in their worthy cause, provided that he is paid well, and only in the finest Barbie dolls.

Eventually, Eragon entered the Plains of Pink Pumas and slew the terrible Cave, Deecrab. Then, with Deecrab dead, and a long, banana-shaped scar on his back, Eragon flew away on his Otter to ask Master Qui-Wan, the elven Otter-Rider, to train him, as Sir Broom had been unable to complete this dull and tedious task.

Whilst in the elven city of Paris, Eragon fell in love with the elven princess, Arowen. She laughed in his face and sent the ranger Aragorn to hunt him down and save the world from such doltishness. Fleeing from the enraged ranger, Eragon switched his affections to the elf maid Arya. (Arya laughed in his face too, but she didn't have a ranger intent on murdering him.)

Soon, the Wardens called Eragon back to help them defeat King Albatross's armies of fierce owls and lawyers in Orc suits. Although he had feared lawyers greatly since Arya had filed for a restraining order, Eragon bravely flew with Saphira the Otter to the Plains of Pink Pumas for the coming battle.

After Eragon gave a speech that lasted two days (during which the lawyers pelted him with bananas and the Wardens had slept), the soldiers were ready for battle. For a week, while the Wardens dropped like non-magical Otters, the media criticized the Wardens for even daring to be in the Plains of Pink Pumas. A few shady deals were... dealt... and, with the media out of the way, the Wardens fought King Albatross's armies.

Then, on the northwestern horizon, an enemy Otter-Rider arrived on his Otter, Thorn. Poor Thorn had been spray-painted red, and was still intoxicated by the fumes. Eragon mounted Saphira and they flew to meet the enemy Otter-Rider in mortal combat. An epic battle commenced, both riders were slapped with fish, and the enemy Otter-Rider (who turned out to be Eragon's step-brother, Murtagh) stole Eragon's magical pitchfork and flew off laughing.

Fortunately, Eragon still had a mighty weapon: the One Ring. He slipped the Ring on his finger, and, aided by the ever-so-moody Luke Skywalker, went to fight the horrible, banana-loving King Albatross. Though Luke had stepped on his foot multiple times, (he had the Ring on, after all, and it's hard to see invisible people) Eragon was soon standing in front of the King's stronghold, Murkodork, ready to fight.

He bravely pushed open the doors, drew his new pitchfork, and----- wait for it-----------

…Was slain by Aragorn, who was still mad about the whole Arowen-stealing thing.

A/N: Hate it? Love it? Feel an overwhelming desire to call me a loser? Review. Now.