I do not own Twilight or anything associated with it.

Chapter 1: The room

Edward paced the floor eying Bella angrily. "I can't believe you made us come here!" he shouted.

"Yeah Bella, what the fudge noodles is wrong with you?" Rosalie exclaimed. "What's so funny!" she asked a giggling Alice.

"You said fudge noodles." Alice answered.

Bella sighed and blushed. Like she always does. "Look I'm sorry. The brochure said, "Want to get your friends to stop cursing? Take them to the ROOM". I didn't know it was actually a room where we were not allowed to cuss!"

Emmett groaned. "Someone kill me. How long do we have to be in this box of a room?" The room was actually like a box. It was a square and small. Any claustrophobic person would have lost it in there.

Carlisle said, "Will you stop yapping? They said were in here for 6 hours."

Jaspers eyes flashed red. "6 hours?"

"Are you kidding me, what if I have to take a wiz?" Embry whined

Leah said, "There's a bucket in the corner." Jacob looked like he was going to barf.

Seth asked, "Every time one of us curses an extra hour is added on?" Everyone nodded. "That's fu - flipped up!" everyone eyed him angrily because he was about to slip up.

"Wait but why are we here? The volturi cannot be in a box with a pack of mutts." Jane said.

Sam growled, "Who you calling mutt? Who even invited you?" The two were face to face baring teeth.

"Wait, before any of us kill each other I'd like to say something." Everyone was silent as Aro, the leader spoke. "I get to suck Jacob's blood if he is killed."

"No way. You get the buff guys blood? I want him." Marcus yelled. Soon everyone started arguing about whose blood they get to suck.

"Oh hippie no! I get his blood." Caius said with attitude, "You seen this guy." He grabbed Jacob's arm. "Look at those muscles! He's got enough blood to hold me for 3 days."

Jacob looked at the the three vampires after his blood nervously, "Wait! Don't I get a say in this?"

Everyone yelled, "NO!"

"Pssh, rude!"

Esme stood up, "SHU... I mean please be quiet. If were in this box, I'd like all of us to survive peacefully if were going to survive at all." everyone nodded at her and there where some, "yes mom"'.

"YEEESSS ESSSMMEEE" Emmett said slower and louder than the rest of his family. everyone gave him a look.

"I call Sam's blood." Jane said after a while.

"Oh ham no! If someones going to suck my blood I'd rather it be Rosalie." Sam winks at Rosalie!

Emily jabs Sam with her elbow. Rosalie glares at him. Emmett finally caught on after a minute, "HEY!"

"Volturi circle!" Jane announces. The volturi assembles into a circle. A lot of whispering happens.

"The four of us have come to a decision. I Aro, king of vampires, will suck Bella and Seth's blood." Bella runs to Edward for protection.

He pushes her away. "Here you can have this butterflying two timer. Yeah dats right! I know about you and Vladimir Todd." Bella gave him a look. Seth grasped his own neck.

Aro continues, "Marcus will get Sam and Emily. Jane shall get Quil and Embry. Caius will get Jacob and Leah. And you Cullens no one wants to suck your blood because you dont have any, so its your lucky day." Jasper, Edward and Emmett high five.

"Wait, can no one die? I have to be home by 10 or my moms gonna kill me!" Seth exclaimed. Leah thumped him.

Jane answers: "We will think about it."

A Voice is heard from corner, "Will Jane really think about it?"

Everyone turns to corner to see a brown haired, brown eyed girl sitting there with a box of popcorn. The girl eats the popcorn nervously as she realizes everyone is looking at her. "That was supposed to be in my head..."

Edward asks, "Who the fudge noodles are you?" Alice giggled again. "Shut it Alice!"

The Girl twirled her long hair nervously. "Hi."

Seth steps up to her, "Why, hello. I'm Seth." Jacob smacks forehead.

the girl maked disgusted face. "I don't date werewolves."

Seth gives a disappointed face. "Then I will have to not be a werewolf."

Rosalie pushes Seth aside, "Enough with your love life. WHO ARE YOU? AND HOW ARE YOU HERE?"

the girl stands, "My name is...Ice."

Emmett grins, "Dat's tight! Awesome." Emmett immediately smacked Ice's hand and did some weird gangsta shake.

Rosalie mumbles, "Great a crazy human, Bella I found your twin." Edward laughed. Bella smacked him.

"Ow! So Ice how'd you get in here?" Edward asked

Ice points to a big tile on the wall, "That's a secret door. I snuck in." she said as if she was saying the sky is blue "I love the Twilight gang!"

Everyone looks around confused. "The twilight gang?" Jacob asked.

Ice sneers at him. "Yes, your stupidness, you guys are characters in a book."

Everyone is confused. Seth asks, "What is this "book" you speak of? Are you from another dimension because here on planet earth we do not have books!"

All the werewolves smack there heads. Sam pulled him back, "Sorry he's a rookie!"

Ice rolled her eyes, "All werewolves are rookies!"

Quil and Embry took offense, "Excuse me?"

Ice closed her eyes, "Werewolves are so stupid. I'm team vampires for the win!" then as an after thought, "They're hotter."

Emmett gave a confused face, "But vampires can't be hot were cold like below freezing."

Ice winked at him. Carlisle shook his head, "Wait there's a secret door to get us out of here?"

Ice shook her head, "No its locked on the inside. You guys have to wait."

Everyone sighed, Aro asked, "What should we do with her?"

Jane said, "Add her to the eat list..."

Ice sits on a chair that was un-noticed and kicks her feet up on a table that was also un-noticed, "Nah I'd rather not."

Aro said, "Excuse me! Were vampires, your a mere mortal."

Ice replied, "I don't f-"

Jacob interrupted her before she can curse, "No you can't curse in here, an extra hour will be added."

"I can curse, I didn't sign a contract like you guys did saying that I wouldn't curse in this room. I snuck in without the staff seeing me so I didn't sign the contract." The girl explained.

"Contract?" Rosalie asked suspiciously.

Ice yawns. "Yeah THE ROOM CONTRACT, you sign it before you come in here."

"We didn't sign a contract." Jasper said. Everyone averts there eyes to Bella.

"Okay I forged all of your signatures." Bella admitted.

Marcus whimpers, "You forged my pony signature! What has the world come to where people forge other peoples pony signatures!" He bursts into tears.

Jane backs away from Marcus. "I say we all eat Bella now."

Every vampire and werewolf agrees.

Ice says, "Wait! You can't eat her she gets killed in the fourth book! You'll mess up the whole trilogy."

Bella screams, "What!"

Ice laughs, "JK you don't! I got you! You looked like you were going to wet your pants."

Bella wipes tears. Ice grins, "Okay I'm out." She walks to the wall and places her hand on the tile and disappears.

"What the fudge noodles?" Alice asked. Everyone glares at her.

And thats it so far...

Ice is a friend i added. sorta w/ out permision. but she knows now. lols!

go read her story :(no spaces)

http:/ www . fanfiction . net/s/6161393/1/The_Real_Volturi

So, Whadaya think?

Review lets keep the comments G-rated.