Freddy's Date

It was nearly eight o'clock. She would be here very soon. For the last few months Freddy Krueger had been wanting to go on a special date with the woman of his dreams. She was perfect and everything he had ever dreamed of…if he could dream.

He secretly knew he was never going to get her attention through his…'good looks'. Freddy knew he was not quite the ideal gentleman every woman was looking for. Yes, he had a few problems here and there, but he was working his way around it. And he had back up to help him too.

Tonight, Freddy's closest friends Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers were with him to help him look as presentable as possible for his date. At times, Freddy felt a little angry because neither of his friends spoke to express what they were thinking, but he had no choice tonight. He would have to go with whatever signs they gave him.

Freddy looked at his dull burnt face in the mirror and growled. "She's never even going to fall for me Jason, let's just stop this right now." He turned and looked at Michael and Jason who surprisingly were playing poker on the table.

Freddy roared and knocked the cards from their hands. Both villains looked up at Freddy in shock. "You guys! You are supposed to be helping me! Not fooling around!" Freddy dragged his claws across the wood of the table, carving four long marks into it.

Michael ran his hands on the marks, and gave two thumbs up to Freddy. Freddy sighed. "No Michael, I am not going to kill her. She's all I've got."

Michael lowered his head, a little disappointed. It had been a while since he had seen Freddy slice up a girl. Jason got up from the table and walked toward a drawer, and pulled out a tie with the words 'Freddy's one sexy demon' written all over it.

"No!" Freddy yelled, and tried to claw Jason away as he forcefully threw the tie around Freddy's neck, nearly choking him. Freddy felt his throat cave in. Jason was too strong and didn't realize how strong he really was.

"Michael, h-help m-me!" Freddy gasped for air. But Michael didn't do anything to help his friend. He stood back and smiled through his ridiculous mask. Freddy suddenly saw his horrible life flashing before his eyes. All the little children he had killed, Elm Street, all of it was literally going black. If Jason didn't let go soon, it would be the end of him.

Freddy gathered up the last of his strength, and stomped as hard as he could on Jason's feet. Jason immediately let go of Freddy, letting him drop to the floor as he reached down and rubbed his feet.

Michael Myers walked over to help Freddy off the floor, but as he did Jason threw his machete down in pain, and made it go right through Michael's legs by accident. A flood of blood splattered everywhere, including all over Freddy's new clothes.

"No! You fools!" Freddy screamed, as he wiped the blood off as much as he could, but this only spread the blood further down his suit. Within seconds Freddy was a mess.

Meanwhile, as Michael's blood was still gushing from his wounds, Jason, who was hopping around on his foot, trying to get off his shoes, managed to slip on the blood and slide down on top of Freddy as he was getting up off the floor.

"Jason! You bastard! Get off me!" Freddy wheezed out. Jason weighed a ton. He didn't do much to move, as he sat on top of Freddy. Michael looked down at them both and giggled.

"Just you wait." Freddy threatened.

Michael shrugged innocently. Freddy pushed Jason off of him, and helped him up. As soon as Jason was steady on his feet, Freddy punched him hard, sending him back onto the floor. Michael backed away, only making sense of what was coming for him.

Freddy pointed a long sharp claw at Jason on the floor. "That was for nearly strangling me, you ox." Jason lifted his head off the floor, and let it go back down in pain.

"As for you!" Freddy glared at Michael, approaching him with his claws outstretched. Michael held his hands up. Freddy stopped. He smiled.

"Oh, so you want a truce?" He asked. Michael nodded up and down quickly. Freddy laughed and set his right hand down.

"Okay Michael, okay. Truce." Freddy stuck out his left hand for Michael to take, and just as poor Michael leaned forward to shake it, Freddy grabbed Michael's neck, pulled him forwards harshly, and stabbed his with all four of his claws ferociously.

Michael looked at the four tiny claws marks in his belly, and clutched his stomach as blood gushed out.

"Happy now?" Freddy asked. Michael shook his head and fell forward right on top of Jason.

"As I was saying, what am I going to wear to make her like me?" Freddy asked, suddenly changing his suit to a cleaner one. Jason and Michael got up from the floor. Michael looked at Jason.

Freddy grabbed a small bottle of perfume off a dresser and sprayed himself in it. "Ah, nice." He said, sniffing it.

As Freddy's back was turned to Jason and Michael, Jason tried to take a step forward to Freddy, but slipped again on the blood, and accidentally smacked Michael in the nose with the handle of his machete.

Michael touched his nose in pain. He looked down at Jason. Jason held his hands up in surrender as Michael plunged his long knife into Jason's chest over and over again.

Meanwhile, Freddy was thinking to himself, completely unaware of what was going on behind him. "Oh dear! I forgot her present!" With that, Freddy rushed into another room, while Michael and Jason faced each other.

Michael spied a large champagne bottle sitting on the edge of the counter. He ran for it, and picked it up. Michael shoved a chair in his away aside and grabbed Jason's shirt collar. He lifted the bottle and aimed it at Jason's head.

Suddenly Freddy turned around, and saw Michael with the champagne bottle. His eyes glowed. "What a good idea Mike!" Freddy snatched the bottle from Michael's hands.

"All women love champagne!" Freddy roared with laughter. Michael looked down, with Jason in his grip. Jason had dropped his machete. As he tried to reach down for it, Michael threw Jason as hard as he could into the wall. Jason sailed right through the wall, and into the next room.

Jason's body made a hole in the wall, showing Michael Freddy in the next room. Freddy looked down at Jason sitting painfully in the concrete and dust of the wall. He raised his eyes to Michael standing on the other side of the wall and glared.

At the sight of Freddy's fiery red eyes, Michael dropped his knife. It made a harsh clanking noise as it hit the floor. Freddy turned back to his work, ignoring Jason as he pushed the insulation of the wall away, and jumped to his feet.

Michael snapped back to reality, and hurried down for his knife. He dropped to his hands and knees, and sped across the floor for his knife. Once it was fully in his hand, he stood to face Jason. When he was up, Jason was no longer in sight.

Michael turned to his left turned to his right. Still, there was no sign of Jason anywhere. Michael lowered his knife…where was Jason?

"Michael! Can you help me find her gift?" Freddy called from the next room. Michael started to make his way through the wall to Freddy, when Jason suddenly leapt up from behind him, and began stabbing him repeatedly in the back.

Michael tried hard to turn his back and throw Jason off of him, but Jason roughly wrapped his legs around Michael's back, and continued to stab him. Michael felt his blood dripping down his back, and knew he had to act fast before Jason stabbed the life out of him.

Michael looked at the wall behind him and Jason, and ran backwards as fast as he could, ramming Jason into the wall. The first shot didn't make Jason any weaker. He dropped his machete, and instead tried pounding his fists onto Michael's head.

Michael ran forward again, and then backed up even faster and stringer. Jason's head smashed right through the wall and powder fell all over his hockey mask.

Over and over, Michael rammed Jason's body into the wall, eventually dropping the whole structure to pieces. Freddy came out of the other hole in the opposite facing wall, holding a beautiful necklace and some flowers.

"I found it!" He shouted triumphantly. Michael and Jason both gave him thumbs up at the same time, and then went back to beating the crap out of each other. Jason eventually became so weak, his body fell down like a withered leaf.

Michael staggered over Jason's body, and gave it a small kick with his feet. Jason didn't move. As Michael turned to go back to Freddy, Jason suddenly pulled Michael down with him. Now it was Jason's turn for revenge.

Jason picked up Michael like he was a rag doll, and shoved him as hard as he could into a large stereo system in the corner of the room. As soon as Michael's head hit the play button, soft romantic music flowed in the room.

"What the hell?" Freddy poked his head into the room. He listened to the music, and smiled.

"Very good Jason! Romantic music will be perfect for her!" Freddy began dancing to the music. Michael stood up from his spot near the stereo system, and smashed it into pieces. The music slowly went off.

Freddy stopped dancing. "All right Mike! I won't use music that cheesy! God, would you two make up your minds?" He soon disappeared again.

Jason ran past Michael to tackle him back down into the last bits of the stereo system. Michael quickly grabbed a lighter off a shelf near the stereo system and lit Jason on fire. Jason began jumping around, trying to put the fire out.

"What are you two doing in here?" Freddy asked. He looked at Jason, rolling all over the carpets, setting fire to everything.

"Yes Jason! I'll light some candles, women love candles!" Freddy raced to a cupboard and pulled out two candles.

"Scented or unscented?" He debated.

Michael decided enough was enough. He grabbed a large vase full of flowers on a small table, and poured water all over Jason and put out the fire.

Freddy rolled his eyes. "What the hell did I do to deserve idiot friends like these morons?" He asked no one.

As Jason and Michael lay still on the floor, completely exhausted from fighting, when the front doorbell rang. Freddy snapped up to attention.

"She's here!" He cried with joy. He left his friends out cold in a heap, and opened the door quickly.

"Come on in my dear." Freddy invited his date inside. She was a tall blonde woman, and she was smiling happily at Freddy.

Michael and Jason got up curiously to look at her. She really was beautiful. Freddy draped an arm around her and led her through his home. Michael and Jason draped arms over each other. They were so happy for Freddy.

As Freddy led his date to the living room, he sat her down on the couch to get her a drink. As soon as she sat, blood spluttered from her mouth.

"Fred!" She screamed, and fell down to the carpet. Freddy looked at her in shock.

He turned to Michael and Jason, who were standing in the doorway of the living room. Freddy dripped his hand in her blood and looked at his friends. "What happened?" He asked angrily.

Michael and Jason both shrugged and looked down at the couch. Freddy pushed his date off the couch, and saw what had killed her.

"Oh…shit!" He screamed. On the couch, covered in blood was his own clawed glove which had impaled his date.

Freddy frowned. "How the hell did that get there?" He asked.

Michael and Jason looked at each other, and suddenly remembered. When Michael had been stabbed by Freddy, his glove had come off, and had hung on Michael's shirt for a while, then dropped and landed on the couch for the rest of the evening.

"Oh." Freddy remembered, nodding.

Jason and Michael nodded too, they had all come to an agreement. What were friends for anyways?

"Well, thanks for taking the bitch off my back anyway." Freddy said. Freddy reached for Jason's machete, and when he got it, he used it to knock it over both Michael's and Jason's heads. Both villains fell down immediately.

Freddy sighed. "This is why you have no friends." He said to the sleeping bodies.

"Oh well. I guess I'll be seeing you both in your dreams tonight." He said with a laugh as he adjusted his clawed glove to his right hand.

THE END