A/N: I am a very silly writer... I wrote this in June and completely spaced off posting it... FairyNiamh couldn't help but tease me about that when we both realized it. XD
Chouji frowned as he stared down at his feet in consternation. He'd been sent to find Shikamaru. Apparently Kakashi had sent Sai on a similar errand to locate Sakura. They'd bumped into each other on the way to search the training grounds. Shika was not in any of his usual hiding places, so Chouji was getting desperate. Being the good guy he was, he offered to let Sai know if he found Sakura. Sai returned the offer in kind. After searching his half of the grounds neither had located his quarry. When Chouji headed for the Hokage Mountain, Sai just sort of trailed along behind him.
Now, standing atop the monument, Sai at least had found his teammate. Rather unexpectedly Chouji had also found his teammate, just not the one he was looking for. At his feet were two very different versions of Ino and Sakura. One difference was that they were both silent, unconscious to be exact. The second was their normally pale skin was now beet red.
Sai was crouching next to Sakura. He poked her with a paint brush handle. She groaned. "Not dead," Sai stated the obvious.
"Kind of surprising considering the blood loss," Chouji remarked. Sai nodded. They didn't bother looking for wounds. It was fairly obvious that the source of the fantastic bleeding was from the woman's nose. Ino was in similar condition.
Chouji scratched his head and glanced around. There was a thick stand of bushes right where the two women were lying. The intrepid ninja parted the thick foliage with his huge hands and coughed in surprise.
"I think we should take them to the hospital Chouji," Sai surmised. When the other didn't respond he turned to peer through the opening as well. Both men stood transfixed at the sight. Sprawled out on the grass in all their lascivious bare glory. Naruto Uzamaki lay with his face to the sky, while Shikamaru Nara was ass up in the grass beneath a large shade tree.
From their positions and from the dried white substance on Naruto's front and Shika's backside, it was easy to deduce what they had been doing and just why they were dozing so soundly out in the open. It was also easy to guess from the depth of the two kunoichi's sunburns that the two men must have still been going strong even as the two female hentai passed out due to blood loss.
Chouji felt something wet above his lip and realized he was in danger of joining the girls on the ground. He turned away just as Sai dropped to the ground beside him. "Oh great! Now I gotta carry all three of them to the hospital. Shika and Ino are both buying my lunch for a month."
He wiped his nose and picked up his burdens. 'If Shika's mom wants him, she can come get him herself,' He chuckled to himself. 'I'd pay to see that.'
In the end he just told the older woman that he couldn't find her son. He was far too kind to put Shika or Naruto through that. 'Let sleeping perverts lie.'
Ino and Sakura spent a week in the hospital. Neither ever explained the real reason for their conditions. Tsunade smiled maliciously as she tapped her crystal ball with a long fingernail. Sometimes being Hokage could be very entertaining.
~end~