THE LAST TEMPTATION OF DESIRE
Desire once decided, on a whim, as is so often the case with Desire, to visit its brother, Dream's, realm of The Dreaming, where those who can dream go to visit that which is not real. In this land of unreality, where so many souls wander, lost, Desire likes to occasionally drop in to plant its seeds. For where better for Desire to vacation than in a place where hearts and minds are as open as the sky?
As it walked the streets of planet make-believe, with its alabaster skin and short, dark hair the envy of all who saw it, Desire decided to stop into a small bar called The Amber Waves, which was located in a section of The Dreaming reserved mainly for the dream of a better life in America.
"I remember this neighborhood being a lot bigger, once," Desire said as it sat down at a table inside the bar and aimed its beautiful, sparkling eyes at the waiter, who was a coat rack.
"Indeed," said the waiter.
"I'll have a glass of champagne," said Desire.
The waiter gave a quick bow and then scuttled off past a nearby table. As it did so, the table's occupant, a turbaned man with a pointy goatee and no arms or legs, looked over at Desire with shiny green eyes. Desire looked right back at him and for a moment it seemed that they were both silently calling to one another to come over, but it was a stalemate as to who would move first. Finally, the man hopped out of his chair and, rather smoothly for someone with his handicaps, came over to Desire's table and sat down.
"Haven't seen you here in many a moon," said the man.
"It is true," said Desire in a blasé way.
"Do you remember me?" asked the man, who looked a bit put off by Desire's reaction to him.
Desire rested its head on one hand in a lazy way and nonchalantly said, "Mmm, Prince Randian?"
"I am Tempto!" yelled the man, indignantly.
"Settle down," said Desire. "I was only teasing you. Of course I remember you. How could I forget my old partner?"
Tempto smiled a sleazy smile.
"Good, good. So what brings the personification of want to such a seedy place as this, completely out of the blue?" he asked.
"Same thing that brings the personification of temptation, I'd imagine," said Desire. "Desperation."
Just then, the waiter came up to the table and set down a flute of champagne in front of Desire and what appeared to be nothing more than hot water served in a flower-pot with a straw in it in front of Tempto.
"You'll find many a desperate mind here," said Tempto, as soon as the waiter was out of earshot. "I should know, I've been kicking - so to speak - around The Dreaming since the days of original sin. But why are you here? And why now?"
"Because it pleases me," Desire said, simply.
Tempto grumbled and then sipped his water. Desire laughed, humorlessly, and sipped champagne.
Suddenly a man burst through the bar's swinging saloon doors and both Tempto and Desire looked over with curiosity at him as he stomped in, already a little inebriated, obviously. He looked to be in his mid twenties, of average height with curly brown hair and a bushy brown mustache. He walked up to the bar and sat down on a stool.
"Whiskey," he said to the bartender, who promptly pulled a bottle out from under the bar, poured him a glass, and set it in front of him. He didn't drink it, though, instead he put his head in his hands and then ran them though his thick hair and sighed. Then he grabbed the drink and downed it in one gulp.
Tempto and Desire both looked at each other for a moment and then they both began to scramble towards the man, as if racing to get to him first. Desire sidled up next to him smoothly on his right side, while Tempto hopped up onto a stool at his left. The man quickly looked to both sides of him in annoyance.
"I help ya?" he said.
"The name is Tempto The Intuitor," said Tempto in his best sideshow talker voice. "And it is I who am here to help you, my boy."
The man looked unimpressed, then turned to Desire. "And you are?" he asked.
"A friend." said Desire with a sly smile.
"I don't need help and I don't need friends," said the man as he ran his finger along the rim of his empty glass. "I need another drink. Barkeep!"
The bartender came over and refilled his glass.
"It doesn't take an intuitor as great as me to see something is troubling you, my friend," said Tempto. "Perhaps if you talked to me... and my associate here, you might be able to work through whatever the matter is."
The man sat there for a moment, quiet, thinking.
"Yeah, alright. I suppose it wouldn't hurt. You two do make me feel comfortable for some reason."
"Attaboy," said Desire in a nasty way.
"The name's John," said the man. "John Wilkes Booth."
"The great stage actor," said Tempto, excitedly. "We've certainly heard of you."
"Sure have," said Desire, who looked at John like he was something to be either eaten or fucked.
"You flatter me," said John, "But I've given up acting. The only play I want to present henceforth is Venice Preserv'd."
Tempto and Desire shot each other a knowing look that John didn't see.
"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. What's wrong?" asked Desire, sounding almost genuinely concerned.
"It's just... this country. This once great country. Now gone all to hell," said John in a low drawl.
"How so?" asked Tempto.
"The states are divided. The country's at war with itself. Brother versus brother. The damn negroes have been freed and now there's talk about them even getting voting rights. And it's all the fault of that damned union president, Abraham Lincoln."
"Sounds to me like all you want is peace," said Desire. "That's perfectly reasonable."
"What I want is things back like they used to be. Before all the death, before all the upheaval, before my brother disowned me...," said John.
"Ugh, brothers," said Desire, rolling its eyes. "But it seems to me like you are a man who at least knows what he wants. The trouble is knowing how to get it, am I right? Especially something on such a large scale. It's gonna take a pretty grand gesture, I'd say," said Desire.
"Well, there was a plot to kidnap Lincoln," said John. "That would have made a hell of a difference in which way the war turned. I was pretty involved in that plan for a while, but... I don't know. After Lee surrendered, the whole thing just seemed rather pointless. At this point I'd just like to see the bastard dead instead." He downed what was left of his drink. "Another!" he shouted. The bartender obliged.
"Now there's a plan," said Desire. "Assassinating the president."
"I had the chance, you know," said John, starting on his third whiskey, his speech already becoming a bit slurred. "At his inauguration. I was there. I could have done it. Missed my chance."
"It's never too late to do what you desire," said Desire.
"Yeah, right. When am I ever gonna have another golden opportunity like that?" said John, and then he hiccupped.
"Where there's a will, there's a way," said Tempto, who had been sitting quietly, waiting for the right moment to strike. His green eyes began to turn and spin, mixing with the black of his pupils, creating a hypnotic swirl.
"The easiest way would be to catch him off guard, like at a play. Just sneak up behind him while he sits and pull the trigger. Real swift like," he continued.
"Mmm hmm," said John, whose own eyes had become glassy and unfocused.
"Perhaps if you stop by Ford's Theatre tomorrow to pick up your mail, you might learn of the perfect opportunity," said Tempto.
John stared straight ahead of himself, holding his drink in midair, listening to Tempto's smooth, hissy voice.
"Well... I do need my mail," he said, slowly.
"There ya go," said Desire, who then shared a conspiratorial smile with Tempto behind John's back.
John was quiet for a moment and then blinked and finished the last of his drink. "You two have given me a lot to think about," he said, and stood up.
"It's what we do," said Desire with a smile.
"Well, I must bid you both goodbye now, for I get the sudden urge that I must leave here," said John.
He began to head for the exit of the bar, but then turned.
"You know, when I was boy I met a gypsy woman. Madame Xanadu was her name. She told me that I would live a 'grand but short life, doomed to die young and meeting a bad end'. Do you think there's anything to that? Could that be my destiny?" he asked with a drunken sadness in his voice.
"Destiny's not our department," said Tempto, and Desire nodded in agreement.
John frowned and then slowly turned and walked out of the bar.
"We still make a pretty good team, don't we?" Tempto said wistfully to Desire.
Desire looked bored and shrugged. "I better be going before my brother gets wise and kicks me out of his realm," it said, and also began to leave.
"But wait," Tempto whined. "Can't I come with you? We can be partners again."
"We'll always be partners," Desire called over its shoulder as it sauntered out of the bar. "Like you said, 'where there's a will, there's a way'."
THE END