Phew finally find how to edit this anyway... It's me again XD I didn't die. Just reading all these wonderful stories. And I kind of did a Victorious one this time :) hope you like it. AND YES, that song is MINE and is in my name and copyright (somewhere) I wrote it based on their break up, and kind of liked it. Hope you like it. I do have a recording of me singing it, cause you know, I have to sing while writing my songs :\ If you want to listen to it just put it in a review or pm me, but it might be... you know... loud... cause my mic is sensitive T_T
Oh yeah, sorry to Robbie Shapiro. You are not included in this fic... even by mention. And I kind of feel bad now, but I don't really care about Rex and Trina.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters because i lost my battle with Dan over the characters. Guess I won't getting famous this fast T_T. BUT the song is mine , I will kill you if you steal it.
P.S. I might have switched point of view at the bottom cause I got distracted... like always ^^' please tell me if that does happen cause... well I'll be annoyed with myself :(
Jade sat down at the gorgeous upright piano, even though it wasn't a grand piano, in the Hollywood Art's Black Box Theater's backstage. She had always loved the tone and quality that came out each time she tapped the keys. She loved playing the piano; it was one of her favorite pastimes ever since she was young, even though she wouldn't admit it to many people. Now, especially after she and Beck, it was one of the sole providers of her happiness, writing songs, even the dreadful sappy sad love songs that she once swore she would never write.
It has been a few months since they broke up, but she wasn't over it and she couldn't understand why. Beck was doing perfectly fine, going around kissing other girls, protecting them, driving them to school, listing all the bad things about her to them, perhaps even dating them outside of school, not like she cared or something like that.
She has been staying after school at least a few times a week, spending time with this beauty continuing her love for writing songs and plays. Lately, she didn't know what possessed her to do this probably some demon named Beck, but she had been thinking about the stupid countdown to nothing. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her temples again, wishing for the thoughts of them to go away.
Everything she did seemed to revolve around it and god she hated it. She even wrote a song about it, and when she wrote a song, she put everything into it, her heart and soul, blood and sweat. She was betting her heart was bleeding by the end she finished, but she did eventually finish.
She gracefully put her hands on the keys and began to play, with her heart and soul. She wanted to be done with these stupid thoughts that were running through her mind, have a life again, not some sad sob story and definitely not these stupid dreadful, sappy songs. But she had to admit, this one was probably the best one yet with the least sappiness, even though it was dripping with it, unlike the others which were flooding the pages with this stupid sappy thing that she couldn't get rid of.
One, the word that started the end
Two, a beat that made my heart race
Three, I hope it's fine, nothing could tear us apart
Four, why aren't already here
Five, did something go wrong with us
She had wondered why he wasn't already standing by her side at five, trying to fix everything. Now she knew why. He was serious when he said that he wasn't happy with their relationship. He was planning on breaking up with her from the start; at least that was what she was betting, no way someone could love her like he did.
"Was it my fault?
That broke my heart to pieces
Did I do something wrong, along the way
Was it my anger, my trust, my ways
My now broken walls
My jealousy that tore us a part
That left me hanging by a thread
It was a countdown to nothing."
Maybe it was her jealousy and walls, never letting anyone but him or at least that was a used to be. She was probably pushing him away the whole time, even more when Vega showed up.
"Six, I hear a noise, but it's not you standing next to me
Seven, I paused, were you letting it go to waste
Eight, the promises that's tearing my life to pieces
Nine, you're the one, or at least I thought
Ten, you're not here, to pick up my shattered life."
When he didn't open the door by the time she said ten, she was heartbroken, shattered. She wanted to open the door and run back to him, or at least yell at him saying that they were over and maybe a punch, a kick, or a slap would add a nice final touch to them. But she was too shattered, if she had opened the door everyone would have seen the tears waiting to fall from her eyes, and that she wasn't willing to do. She was The Jade West she wasn't going let a stupid break up tear her apart.
But it did.
"Was it my fault?
That broke my heart to pieces
Did I do something wrong, along the way
Was it my anger, my trust, my ways
My now broken walls
My jealousy that tore us a part
That left me hanging by a thread
It was a countdown to nothing."
She felt like her heart was falling through space, when she started driving back to her house. When she finally got into her house after struggling to put a goddamn key in a stinking little keyhole that she couldn't really see though her tears and the dark, she sprinted up the stairs into her room, slamming the door shut on the yelling of her little brother her heart finally crashed at the bottom on some jagged rocks, while she was still hanging onto the edge of the cliff trying to save the falling heart that she let out of her grips. She couldn't face the happy face of her brother asking her to play with him, while she was all broken and torn apart because of some stupid words, that weren't even words, just numbers.
"I thought your promises
Would actually make it through to the light
Unlike everything else in my life (uh-oh)
How you would say you'd love me forever
Everything seems wrong now, without you
What went wrong here?"
Sobbing into her pillow over a boy wasn't something she planned to do in life, but it happened. Throughout the whole misfortunate event, that wasn't supposed to happen, she started reminiscing all the promises and happy times throughout their relationship. Yeah right, like she was going back to that, but she was. She wasn't one for promises, but Beck made her believe. All her life, she never knew anyone who kept their promises, except maybe Cat but that was another story altogether. He made her believe, but he was also the one who broke all the important ones.
"Was it my fault?
That broke my heart to pieces
Did I do something wrong, please tell me now
Was it my anger, my trust, my ways
My now broken walls
My jealousy that tore us a part
That left me hanging by a thread
I guess it was a countdown to nothing.
I guess it was a countdown to nothing.
A countdown to nothing."
She suddenly felt a drop on her hand as it held out the last chords still ringing through her ears. A stupid teardrop. A stupid song made her cry just by remembering all of this. She felt like she was in stupid sop story as she stared at the tears that were dripping out of her eyes and falling onto her fingers and the piano keys. A murky grayish swirly tear that mixed with her mascara on the way down, probably leaving trails down her face. She saw her reflection in the piano. Yep. She let go of the last chords and the pedal to try to stop more tears from falling to hear an echoing clap that rang through the room.
Her head shot up, then quickly back down, hoping no one saw the tears. God, her reputation would be ruined around her. Jade West crying, yeah right.
"Jadey!" Just Cat, nothing to worry about, Cat seen her cry before.
"What?" she tried to shout in her most sarcastic voice possible.
"That was so pretty! Did you write it yourself? Can you sing it again? Can I sing along with you? I love it when we sing duets together."
"Woah, woah, woah. Cat breathe, now." Jade's eyes shot open. Vega. At least she had seen her cry before too, but she didn't want to see her cry ever again.
"Yeah, chill, Little Red, but, man, Jade that was pretty good, I should get you to help me write more songs more often." And that was Andre. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping no one else was with them. Then she quickly snapped them open to quickly snatch her bag up and fixed her make-up, no need to let Andre and whoever else is there to see her crying.
"Yeah, Jade, I bet you and Andre can write a pretty neat song, if you work together. Your voices could probably go great together," and there goes Vega again, but she smirked, Vega was possibly letting her work with Andre when she had a crush on him and was dying to work with him for the upcoming Showcase.
Finally she finished fixing up most of her mascara, but her eyes were still red, which she couldn't really fix right now. But they were all probably wondering why she hadn't turned around yet, to face them and not doing so would make them only more suspicious. "Yeah, yeah, maybe. Why are you all here creeping on me?" she said while turning around to find to her relief, no one else was with them and a Cat running to hug her, which she groaned as she felt the arms around her.
"Well, we were hoping to practice our skit for Sikowitz tomorrow, and then we heard someone playing backstage. So, we were checking to see who it was, and we saw you here," Vega replies, hoping she wouldn't mind that they were listening, which she did, but decided to let them off.
"Yeah, yeah, now go practice your stupid skit," Jade said, sighing. She wanted to be alone. She didn't realize how much of an impact that song had on her.
"Aww, but I want to hear Jadey play her song again. Please, please, please, please? With a cherry on top? Ooh, cherries. I love cherries. They're all sweet, except that big, giant seed in the middle. Those seeds hurt if you bite on it. My brother once was eating a cherry and didn't know there was…" Cat rambled.
"Cat, we have to practice. We don't even know what we're going to do yet for this script, except with the theme of islands." 'There goes Vega with her bossy whiny voice,' Jade thought shivering at the whininess.
"Yeah, Cat, let's go, I don't have all day. I have to go home before my grandma calls that a murderer is in the house."
"Murderer?" Tori, Jade and Cat said simultaneously, a bit frightened, except Jade who said it in a bored tone.
"Yep. Everyday I tell her there is no murderer in the house and no one would try to murder her," Andre sounded frustrated, "but everyday she yells at me and says, 'But, but, but Andre I saw someone go under the bed,'" he impersonated her. "And everyday I have to check under her bed, in her closet, in every room, under the tables, and every stinking place where no one would hide in the whole house and never is a murderer." As he ended his went wide and crazy and his voice getting louder, finally ending in heavy breathing.
"Okay, let's go practice Cat," Tori said nervously.
"Aww, phooey," Cat replied with her eyes going wide into the puppy face. Jade groaned, this was not helping her have some time to herself.
"Cat, I'll play you the song later, now go do whatever you have to do, I'll give you candy later, too."
Cat's eyes perked up at this and a sigh from Tori and Andre being saved from the almost impossible. "Okie, bye Jadey. Later Jadey." Jade winced with each 'Jadey.' It was starting to get on her nerves. She watched as she skipped out to the front of the stage and Tori and Andre followed. She turned back to face the piano, thinking quietly to herself, until she her thoughts were interrupted again by both Tori and Andre.
"Hey, Jade. You do know Beck cares about you still right? He talks about you, everyday, wishing he opened the door," Andre whispered softly to her peeking out from behind the curtains.
"Yeah right. He said he wasn't happy with our relationship. He ended it because he wanted to. I just was being stupid writing that song." She closed her eyes and hoped the pain of the memories would go away and rested her forehead in her hands.
"But he regrets it. He regrets all the fighting that happened that last week. Every day, he told me he wishes he could turn back time and open the door. He may look like he doesn't care, but he does," Tori's voice joined Andre's.
"I'll believe it when he tells me that himself. It was his stinking fault for not opening the door. He's the one that let it go to waste. I don't even think he loves me anymore, probably off dating all those other girls that flirted with him." Jade's throat tightened with each word she said, wishing it was not true. Tears were threatening to spill, and she going to let anyone see. "Just… just go. I-I want to be alone right now," she stuttered hearing her voice crack and grow weaker and listened to their footsteps walk away
She finally let the tears burst out again and more than before. It was déjà vu like on that lonesome day. February 11th. Memories, dreams, promises, and hopes flashed along her eyelids. She wished this was over, that she could get over this. And she will. Just not anytime soon. Right now, she needed time. Time to think. Time to heal. Her heart wasn't going to fully heal from this, but she wasn't going to let that deter her. She'll get over him, just not right now.
Not when she started that countdown to nothing.
Sooo... eh, eh, eh... Did you like it :) I liked it. I did this in a few hours and that song took me an hour T_T
Now do you see that comment thingy right about there *points down* review pleasseee... okay you don't have to... cause I never do, but... favorite maybe? *winky wink, cheesy grin*