Welcome to my nightmare. I say nightmare because I am lazy. That combined with an extreme lack of motivation makes this a nightmare to write. I've read stories on this site for years and have finally decided to try my hand at this. This is just a one-shot, but if this positively received I will try make it into a whole story.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the idea.

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

Bijuu

We start our story at the Village Hidden in the Leaves in the Land of Fire. In this village children are train to become the fighting force of the village called shinobi. They train from a young age to go on missions ranging from simple escorts to assassinations. They are also sworn to defend their home against all threats. Said vow was being throughly being tested this night became of the walking disaster known as the Kyuubi. The Kyuubi towered over the village as an incarnation of death, each of its steps meant the end of another life fighting to stop the great beast. This,however, is not our focus, no we find ourselves focused on the woman standing atop of a tall tree a fair distance away.

The woman standing on the tree was 5'6" and was dressed in a loose-fitting long-sleeved shirt and pair of standard ninja pants taped at the ankle and wore ninja sandals. Going up to her hair went down the whole of her back and was spiky in many places. Her hair swept across one of her dark eyes covering it. She had a delicate jaw line and sharp eyes. To the few people who were still alive before the First Great Shinobi War she bore a horrify resemblance to one Madara Uchiha.

There was a very good reason for this. The simple reason is that this woman was/still is Madara Uchiha.

She stood there staring at the Fox rampaging with a bored look on her face. From deep in her mind a deep voice spoke, 'So Madara what kind of Naruto do you think it will be this time?'

If one could see into her mind they would find a man with red-orange hair lying on grassy hill just outside a forest. He was 6'5" and was well built. His hair was messy and touched his shoulders. His eyes were a deep red and contained a ripple like pattern with several tomoe on the rings and around his eyes were black rings. He also featured a strong jaw with extended canine teeth.

He wore a white long sleeved coat with the bottom edge somewhat tattered and the sleeves torn near the wrist with a red muscle shirt under it. Clamped onto his wrists were a pair of steel shackles. As for pants he wore a pair identical to the ones Madara was wearing and instead of sandals wore a combat boots.

At one point his name was feared as the Juubi, but to Madara he is simply called Kurama.

'I don't know Kurama, why were you hoping for another female Naruto to screw?'

'Nah all I want is for them to be interesting and different than the usual blond haired idiot, them being female and hot is just a bonus.'

'Well if this one is female don't sleep with her.'

'Why the hell can't I?' He asked with a smirk.

'You know damn well how much of a pain in the ass it is to convince them to a three way when I have to be a parental figure in her life.'

'Hehe how are you going to stop me?'

She deadpans.'I won't sleep with you 2000 years.'

That took the smirk off his face in a heartbeat and he replied' Urk!Fine I'll leave them be if it's a girl and if I can hit on some of the other kunoichi.'

'I get last say so and can watch or participate whenever I choose.' Madara replied.

'Deal.'

She then turned her attention back to the fight just in time to see Gamabunta land on top of the Kyuubi."You know that is always my favorite part of this fight." She spoke aloud.

'Screw you.'

'You already do.'

Madara watched the giant toad and great fox disappear, but she could still sense them in the distance."Looks like the standard beginning."

'What are you going to do then?'

Madara simply started to make her way back to her camp and thought,'Given how bored we both are I would think the answer would be obvious.'

Kurama let out a low chuckle and asked,' So whats the disguise this time?'

'Just the standard tie my hair up and different eye color.'

Kurama sighs and replies,' Boring. Oh well let's go see what kind of trouble we can get into this time around.'

omake:

As Madara turned away a thought crossed her mind, 'Hey Kurama, where did the clouds of your chakra floating around come from?'

'I farted.'

'What?'

'Yeah there were some idiots trying to hit me with some jutsus at the base of my tails so I farted.'

Madara could only facepalm at that.