"TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"

Captain Roger's and Secretary Ross' heads peered around the corner of the meeting room doorway, watching Tony Stark punctuating every step with his chant.

"Has anyone told him he has to wear the toga?"

Rogers rubbed his eyes. He wasn't too sure who was suffering more with this 'break' with Pepper Potts; Tony or everyone else in the Avengers. "At this point, I'd settle for Stark just wearing ... any form of clothing."

Ross crossed his arms. "What's the call, Captain?"

"We've got to get him out of the limelight before a real public relations disaster occurs."

"The Accords?"

Rogers raised an eyebrow. Ever since Ultron, there had been a major public backlash, with demands for 'accountability' and 'chain of command'. Those concepts came to a screeching halt in the corridors of power as soon as someone realised that there were two intelligence operatives who knew where the bodies were buried and the most powerful shovel ever devised called the Vision. In a wireless Wi-Fi world, they could make Assange and Snowden look like a three year old revealing his mommy had eaten cakes during her juice cleanse diet.

In order to placate the Public and Pundits, the UN had put together a set of Accords. Given the UN's track record of enforcement, this would allow the Avengers to operate with the threat of a terrifying wrist slapping dangling overhead. Of course, this didn't make the public attention and criticism go away; what Rogers was really keen on was sending a large portion of the team out of the limelight while keeping Stark and a few others soaking up the attention.

"We say ... some of us were concerned over the threat this presents to our operational effectiveness?"

Ross scratched his temple. Getting the UN to go along with a narrative that conveyed that the UN passed actual authority in the real world wouldn't be a hardship.

"... say some intelligence operative with a grudge decoded some portion of the SHIELD leak ..."

Rogers frowned. "You mean, decoded something the NSA couldn't? With Stark's volunteering his supercomputer runtime, and then Vision lending a hand?"

"We'll work something out. Can you get Barnes to help stage a few incidents?" The Secretary was keen to have a full evaluation of the second surviving super-soldier. Yes, finding five fresh soviet super-soldiers in a Siberian deep freeze was improving the research programme, but evaluating a live one in controlled conditions would help. Especially since the shrinks said the deprogramming was progressing nicely.

"He's raring to get back into the field. Might need some actual international co-operation ..."

"Wakanda can help." They had made some significant inroads to the isolationist nation after returning a large portion of the recovered vibranium. The new king was also keen in making some public show of strength.

"Okay ... either we tell the public that the Avengers have developed a major schism over the concepts of security versus freedom ... or they find out that our major financier is running the world's major superpowered team like Animal House and needs to spend time drying out."

Keeping Stark was critical; one of the reasons that the powers that be weren't keen on upsetting the apple cart was that thanks to some sweet tax loopholes and merchandising contracts, the Avengers were essentially self-funding. One of the first things Rogers did to stave off a government representative demanding they surrender to his every whim under the guise of accountability, was to show him the average monthly expenses. Every mandarin wanted extra powers and authority, but no extra outlay. Especially in the age of cutbacks.

"It's not the fraternity antics, it's the fact he's treating the CIA, FBI, CIA and NSA as 'rival frats'."

"Can we get them on board?"

"Well, the CIA are keen to get in provided they get to cover up that the NSA beat them in that drinking competition."

"AAARRRRGGGHHHH!"

The loud pitiful scream made the two snap to attention.

"What the hell was that?"

"Stark finding out Natasha realised early on that she'd be the sole target in a panty raid ... and commissioned one of Stark Industry's biggest rivals to build a titanium alloy bear trap ..."